A fire burns within my soul1
As darkness cloaks my withered heart2
You have numbed my conscience, 3
I hear it no more.4
One would surely think5
This flame would start to dwindle6
But feeding on the oil of your words7
It has grown into an inferno.8
This cell is now my home,9
I welcome the vermin and the hate10
I embrace the tang of death,11
Metallic smell of blood...12
Goodnight good sir13
Hope you like it 6 feet under.14
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Not bad...The flow could use some improvement, some parts were fine with it, but others need a bit of work. Also, perhaps try putting it into stanzas, instead of one long thing, it may help it read smoother.
On a lighter note, it was very deep and full of emotion, keep up the good work.
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wow
that end bit made me shudder, very good. some awesome lines in that well done.
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Very Dark poem. Very depressing. Simple and to the point. Good job! Keep Writing!!
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"But feeding on the oil of your words, It has grown into an inferno." LOVE those lines. Very deep and dark poem. I like it. Keep up the good work.
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Darkly Rich
wow..such darkness its awesome makes me think of someone killing there loved ones whos killing them slowly good job I like it.
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