The Horrible Things

We're going somewhere special, is what mommy said. 1

A place full of happiness and laughter and fun. 2

We'll do whatever you want there, my mommy said. 3

And we'll forget all about the horrible things done. 4

So picking me up,5

She brushed away the tears.6

She brushed away the sadness and bruises and blood.7

We'll make it all better, she whispered to me. 8

And we'll forget all about the horrible things done. 9

So we went to this place, this magical place.10

Where everyone was laughing and skipping and fun. 11

We did what I wanted.12

I got some icecream.13

I went on the rides that spin round and round. 14

But when I got off a ride, Mommy was no where to be found. 15

I stepped through the crowds of the really tall people. 16

I went looking for Mommy, because she would be mad.17

I wasn't to leave her no matter what happened. 18

I need to find Mommy, before she gets mad.19

Or those horrible things will come get me again. 20

So I started to cry, balloon in hand.21

Not because I was lost, or had no one there.22

I cried in fear, because I knew.23

My mommy would be mad I left, 24

And horrible things would happen again.

Author notes

I wanted to write something from the point of view of a child for a while now. It was hard restricting myself to simple sentence structures and vocabulary. But this format seemed to fit it best. I'm not sure what its considered. Mmm, but I liked adding in depth with a child's simple motives and thinking. It turned out darker then I thought though.

Well here's the picture that inspired the story.

http://sekatsim.deviantart.com/art/Lost-66724771

Oh, and watch out for the horrible things. =)

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Comments


  • FreakshowAkaChristy
    October 11, 2008

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    wow, this sort of makes me want to cry! so powerful yet so simple. Great job and that picture is gold. just for clarification, though, does she get beat by her mom or dad?? i found abuse in her though process. am i right??


    • K.Tangent
      October 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Her mother. Yes there was hints of abuse, but I didn't want to outright say it. I'm glad enjoyed it, even in its strange simplistic wording. Thank you for the comment(s).


  • Melancholic Smile
    September 25, 2008

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    I really like the mixture in this poem where you have used it from a childs point of view but also mixed the depth and darkness of the same kind of fears you would see an adult feel. Does that make sense?! It flowed well and there was something quite powerful about it despite the simple language used. It left me with an eerie feeling where I wanted to make sure she was safe. Thanks for entering, this is really good.