I am really sorry if you don't understand but know I will explain it: This story is in 2 points of views: one of the girl and one of the girl's little brother. Is that clear?1
(in sisters point of view) I felt a urge, a deep urge inside me trying to tell me to kill, to demolish. Every thing was too beautiful, I had to destroy it.No people yet, I thought but wait till there is. One person came out. I somehow managed to grab hold of is neck and hold on to it, and I killed that person. A few more people came and I did the same at them. I just laughed at them.2
(in brothers point of view) 'Where are you?' I called my sister, she was so going to scare me. Why was I such a scaredy cat? Down at the other side, there was that really deep cliff ending to nowhere. The thought of it made me shudder. My sister is not annoying but I hate it when she scares me, I nearly jumped out of my shoes one time.3
I stared at the cliff again, I could just see something had moved. My sister? 'Oh don't be scared Thomas', you are not a scaredy cat I told myself. I then tripped and fell of the cliff. I shrieked and screamed and I landed into a pool. I found a red jewel and I picked it up.4
I suddenly felt so brave, thinking about taking action. I leaped to my feet and searched my sister. I found her, I noticed her eyes had changed instead of kind eyes, they were eyes as cold as ice.5
(third person) They both stared at each other in horror and opened there mouths. The two jewels, good and bad dropped out from their hands and clashed together. Every thing was okay. The force of the jewels clashing together pushed them up and back onto the cliff. Now everyone was safe and they all never went there again.
Author notes
I also added one paragraph in third person, is that okay?
If you still have questions you can ask me.
Comments
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A good attempt to write the story from different people's angles. Hope one day you can fine tune all pieces and make a more complete story.

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Hello!
Hiya as well as saying your story is real good i would like to tell you a reply cos u no u commented on my story and said you didnt understand about the spirits well its simple the legend says that if someone goes into the cast the family's spirit still lives there and the spirit will get anyone who enters for revenge!
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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You haven't even read part 1 yet and you read part two!
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What a good story, with a happy ending too. You certainly are excellent at this. It's a pleasure to read something this short with so much stuffed in to it. Keep it up, I am enjoying your work emmensely.




