The boy hides inside his closet1
Or perhaps he twas locked in there 2
It does not matter...for tis there he stays3
Keeping all the fears locked up4
Deep inside his heart...which closes5
Tis all locked up inside him now.6
The boy hides behind the wall7
Twas it already there or did he create it?8
It does not matter...as long as tis there9
So that he can be safe from harm10
He feels nothing...nothing but numb11
Feelings are dead and nothing hurts.12
The man hides inside his prison cell13
Or perhaps he twas locked in there14
It does not matter..for tis there he stays15
He keeps his fears deep inside16
Nobody can touch him...he is closed17
He is locked up both inside and out now.
A contest entry
- Touch Me by On.Cue.
600 points, ended September 20, 2008, 31 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - I LOVE POETRY! by Sgs.
350 points, ended October 3, 2008, 118 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Touch Me! (Not a erotic type of contest) lol by Artificial.Smiles..
100 points, ended November 2, 2008, 21 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I really like this poem. It's really cute!(:
Good Luck in my Contest!
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Thank you for entering this, I love it very much!
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I use (...) just in chat convos, alot. LOL So it doesn't bother me. Honestly it is the meat of the story, the heart that matters to most people. Punctuation is secondary. And this... again very stong and so much depth there.
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Very sad. But also , very well written! Great job with this and again, much luck in teh contest!
Rian -
The boy hides behind the wall
Twas it already there or did he create it?
It does not matter...as long as tis there
So that he can be safe from harm
THOSE WERE MY FAVOURITE LINES: Again dude you have captured a part of a life that you are accepting, yet while painful as it is and as you question you know you are doing your time for something that can no longer be taken back.
Brilliant work
Blake ♣
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Wow, really amazing and painful piece. I like how it traces a prisoner's life from childhood to adulthood. I work with a lot of criminals (substance abuse field) and this really rings true.
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Like it like it like itttttt.
But I suggest you use the "..." sparingly. It just breaks the mood I think. -
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Sorry I like to use (...) likely far too much as you are not the first one to make that comment. Will try to refrain and see how that works.
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Awww, T! Again beautifully written and I know that breaking out of that closet, breaking down those walls and residing where you do is tough. I also know though that you are not as closed off as you want most to think you are.
*HUGS*
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Argh...six bloody years. Well at this point..5 and a half. I would say physically I am quite closed off. But in other ways...you are right.
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Just remember that I'm here for you whenever you need/want.
I lathair an dorchadais, ta mo croi leat go deo
*hopes that is the right way to say it, if not I need a new translator*
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My heart tis yours in the darkness and in the light as well Mo chara...
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Whew, glad I got that right. Would have hated it if someone on the translation site was playing a joke and it was nothing but cursing going on there.
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