The December air cut through my red cloak, needling at my pale skin. I pulled the hood over my head, down past my eyebrows so all I could see was the rough, snow covered street crunching under my winter boots. The night was silent, as if the biting air had frozen the spinning of the earth. It was far too late, but the night hour thrilled me. I looked up at the moon partially hidden by the same dark clouds that were sending white flakes to rest on my hood and on my un-gloved fingers. I jumped as the big clock on top of City Hall gonged out the hour. One, two...I caught my breath and started forward again...three...I ran into something hard, something that caught me before I fell...four...I felt a breath against my ear, a hand slipping around my neck...five..."You are mine"...six...a stone-hard arm swept me around the waist into the shadows...seven...his hand caressed my chin, down my neck, onto my shoulder and I felt my bodice fall away...eight...his skin, impossibly colder than even the frigid winter air, slid down my chest, pausing on my nipples...nine...his lips hummed against my ear, "Don't fight", and then his mouth slides down my body, his tongue speeding my breath as it brushes my rising breasts, my stomach, his sharp, pointed teeth carving parallel lines down my front that ooze red...and suddenly he's under my skirt...ten...his freezing lips weaved up my thighs, to the place where they met...eleven...he moved faster than probable, my breathing keeping time as he licks and kisses and forces my most sensitive spot...twelve...time stops 1
I climax and he bites. The clock stops chiming and my blood falls into his mouth, draining my young life. I don't care. 2
I'm cold.3
And time ends.
Author notes
First sad attempt at erotica...was it too abrupt? What did/didn't you like?
- In Love with a Vampire group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Prompts, Ideas, and Darkness! O.o by Friesian.
650 points, ended September 28, 2008, 21 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - ♥ ♥ Sensually Erotic Love Stories ♥ ♥ by KitterBean.
500 points, ended October 2, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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great job at your first attempt of erotica. it did end a little abruptly- but it was still good. adored the way you incorporated the gongs of the clock, too. Good work.
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I agree with kitterBean... it did end too abruptly, but i liked it too... vampire sex.... who knew???
Rose
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Ended far too soon, but i loved it! Youre a finalist! Great work...just wish there was more to it!
=CC
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Wow!
Short and sweet! Oooh! Your first time writing this catagory!? Wow! Excellent! Great job! Bavo! It was short, but kept my attention, yet it was very sweet and seductive! Marvelous!
-Lissy
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Wow, that was incredible. I loved that it was short and intense. Very spooky, erotic, and suspenceful. Counting the tolling of the clock tower lends a feeling on inevitableness to the story. You know there are only so many hours and that time will run out for her. Great job!
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wooow!
great job,
suspenseeful, terrifyingly attractive, brilliantly done!
cheers
Hunter~
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Just gotta say WOW!!! Good job, you kept the suspense through to the end. I love how you kept counting the gongs of the clock.
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ha ha, i liked it. it was a little short but theres nothing wrong with that... I got butterflies in my tummy reading something like this. like the butterflies you get when you get caught with your hand in the cookie jar. nice effect.
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very nicely written
I really enjoyed it
intensly
Dont stop writing
good luck with the contest !!!
Blair
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