Beth breathed in and out as she twisted her hands together. She stood in front of the open security gate, trying to convince herself to walk through. Her left hand chased her right: over, under, over, under… until she stilled them.1
Honestly, she thought, it wasn’t as if he could refuse – for goodness sake, he’d had the book for months!2
She willed herself forward, her red tennis shoes quiet on the smooth concrete driveway as she strode toward the last villa. As she approached, she breathed a sigh of relief when she noticed one less car in the garage.3
At least I won’t have to deal with the Bitch, she mused in regard to her friend’s sour-faced wife. She honestly didn’t know what Pete saw in the plain woman.4
She reached the half-open door, but as she lifted a hand to knock, Pete’s voice rang out. “Hey! Bethy… come in – watch out for Luke’s toys – I swear that boy of mine loves watching people trip.” 5
She pulled the screen door open as he held up a frosted can. 6
“Want one?”7
She eyed the bourbon and cola – one of Pete’s favourites. She shrugged – though it was only midmorning, she didn’t see the harm in just one – besides Pete would drink irrespective of whether she accepted or not.8
He padded to the fridge and grabbed another can, popped the top and handed it to her. “So – what’s up?”9
She took a nervous sip to wet her suddenly dry mouth. The smoky taste of the bourbon rolled around in her mouth before she swallowed. “I came to get the book – you were only meant to borrow it overnight, remember?” 10
“I’ve been busy Bethy – work, watching Luke… other stuff. I promise – I’ll get it back to you soon.”11
She sighed. “I need it – I want to throw together a batch of the fudge biscuits tonight for my sister’s engagement party tomorrow.”12
Pete took a long swallow from his can and then sidled over to the kitchen bench. Leaning against it, he shook his head. “I can’t give it back to you – not now.”13
She walked into the kitchen, her brow furrowing as she tried to comprehend what he meant. “It’s easy, Pete, you pick up the book, and you give it to me. If you still need to copy some of the recipes I’ll loan it back to you after I’m finished.”14
“I just – can’t – Bethy, alright? Jeez, I hate impatient women.”15
“Three months is impatient? Pete – I want the goddamn book back – you’ve had more than enough time to copy everything out of it!” As she grew annoyed with her friend, Beth's voice rose.16
Pete ran his free hand through his cropped black hair, unfazed by her anger. He drained the rest of the beverage from the can and then crumpled it. “I just… can’t.”17
Beth briefly considered turning away and just leaving, but instead placed her can on the bench and stared at him. With one hand on her hip, she resolved to leave with her book. “You can.”18
He threw the scrunched can at an overflowing bin, but it hit the rim and skittered across the tiled floor. “No. I. Can’t”19
She glanced around the kitchen – the cookbook had to be in here somewhere – surely. Just as her eyes alighted on the telltale brown spine, Pete followed her gaze and snatched the book from where it resided on a shelf.20
“No.”21
Beth held out a hand. “Give it to me, Pete.”22
“No.”23
Starting to tire of the constant denials, Beth strode toward him and grabbed at the book.24
He jerked the book back and pushed her. “No.”25
She stumbled back, furious and indignant, and glared at him. “What the hell?”26
“Bethy – just leave it, alright. I’ll buy you another one.”27
“From where, Pete? You know that I had to bid for that one on E-bay – it’s out of print. You can’t just go down to the local bookstore and replace it. And it’s not like you’ve lost it – it’s right here.” She watched, livid now, as he simply scratched his beer gut as she ranted.28
“Don’t you get it? I can’t give it to you. Not now, not ever. I’m sorry.”29
She regarded his bleary, alcohol-dazed eyes. “What?”30
“I was stuck for a birthday present for Tanya…”31
She interrupted him. “You gave it to the Bitch? You’ve got to be kidding me! How many beers convinced you that she wouldn’t notice that the book wasn’t exactly in pristine condition?”32
“She likes it.”33
“Of course she fricken likes it, Pete – it’s only got a hundred ways to prepare the vice that all women need. But, that isn’t the point. The point is – the book is MINE.”34
“Tanya will kill me if she finds it missing.”35
She lunged at the book again. “I’ll kill you if you don’t give it back to me.”36
Pete laughed – a deep chuckle that started in his chest. “Little, mousy, Bethy – a bit melodramatic don’t you think?” He danced drunkenly toward her, waving the book back and forth in front of her.37
Beth snatched her hand out and snagged one edge of the hard cover book, and then yanked it. Pulled off-balance, Pete fell against her, pinning her to the bench top. She put a hand on his chest and pushed. “Gerdoffme,” she hissed.38
Pete responded by tugging on the book rather than stepping back. “Let go.”39
She tightened her grip. “No.”40
The tug-o-war continued for several seconds, each yank or jerk accompanied by muttered curses and the odd moan of frustration. Finally, Beth had enough. She kicked Pete in the shin.41
“Oww!”42
“Give me my goddamn book!” 43
Pete raised his spare hand and grabbed her throat. “Let go.”44
She kicked him again. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”45
He squeezed.46
She kneed him in the family jewels.47
“Bitch,” he squeaked out as his eyes watered.48
With a look of determination on her freckled face, Beth finally wrenched her cookbook from his gasp and slithered her slight form away from him.49
Pete cupped his cajones and glared at her. 50
“Stop drinking, Pete – it’s obviously addled your mind,” she snapped at him as she examined her long-lost book; their little custody battle didn’t seem to have affected it.51
One of his hands snaked out and his fingers closed around one of the handles protruding from the wooden knife block on the bench. He tugged the blade out and brandished it at her. “I need the book, Bethy.”52
She stepped away, clutching the book to her chest. “You’ve lost it, Pete.”53
He swung at her, the knife moving in a lazy arc. “Give me the book.”54
She shook her head. “No.” As she stepped back again, he abruptly lunged at her and grabbed a handful of her auburn hair. She dropped the book in surprise; it fell to the ground with a clatter, the pages open.55
Pete glanced down at the page on display as he fidgeted with the knife, and then his hand clenched as he twisted the handful of hair that he held.56
“Pete?”57
He dragged her forward and slammed her against the bench, before pushing his face against hers.58
She turned her face away as his sour breath wafted over her face, but he yanked her hair back and her neck cracked under the strain as he made her look at him.59
“Let me go,” she snarled as she pummelled her fists against his chest. 60
Breathing heavily, he pushed his body against hers, and resumed playing with the knife. “You couldn’t leave it alone, could you?” he muttered. “I thought you were different, but you’re the same as the rest of them – all whinging, complaining, nagging bitches.”61
Beth shuddered. “You don’t want to do this, Pete. Think of Luke and Tanya-”62
The look on his face told her that mentioning the wife had been a very bad idea.63
She tried to get a fix on the knife as she pleaded with him. “Pete, please…”64
“Shut up!”65
There. He’s got it in his right hand. Oh, shit… She watched out of the corner of her eye as the knife wavered just in front of her midsection. “Pete?”66
“I said – shut up!” 67
Her back cracked too as he tried to fold her backwards over the counter. She couldn’t help the gasp of pain which escaped her lips.68
“Dada, Dada, Dada…” Two-year-old Luke toddled into the kitchen, his eyes bright with inquisitiveness.69
As he turned his head to focus on his son, Beth grabbed Pete’s right hand and thus the knife he held.70
Pete reacted, trying to twist his hand from her grip.71
Beth held on – knowing that if she lost this battle she would likely lose the war as well. Attempting to force him to drop the knife, she bent his hand back at the wrist. 72
Unfortunately, her endeavour occurred at the same time as he tried to pull his hand free. The knife angled toward him, and with her push and his pull, the blade entered his chest just to the left of his third shirt button.73
“Shit.” Fingers still wrapped around the blade, Pete looked down at the sight, incredulous. 74
His grip easing on her hair, Beth straightened up. The knife hadn’t gone that far in – maybe an inch or so – but it was apparently enough to give him pause.75
“Don’t pull it out,” she warned, even though the adrenalin rushing through her veins begged her to think otherwise.76
“You did this,” he murmured as he stumbled away from her, his other hand crawling up to join the other. “Bitch.”77
Beth stared at him. How could he? After everything he just did, he blames me?78
“Bethy?” 79
Forgetting about the book, Beth stormed toward him. “How is this my fault? You were the one that had me bent over the bench threatening me with a knife. You deserve a lot more than one inch of an eight-inch chef’s knife sticking from your chest. In fact…”80
She would have said more had she not stepped on the Matchbox car that Luke had just zoomed across the floor. 81
Too busy commiserating his own bad luck, Pete couldn’t stop her as she pitched forward and against him. They fell to the floor together, Beth landing atop his chest.82
“Ooph.”83
Off to one side, Luke giggled and clapped his hands together with glee. 84
Beth glanced up at him. “Funny, eh?”85
Below her, Pete didn’t make a sound. As Beth peeled herself from him, she saw the sole reason why.86
The force of her fall had shoved the remaining seven inches of blade into his chest and, from the location, likely straight through his heart. She sighed and looked at Luke. “This is going to be hard to explain don’t you think?”87
Luke giggled once again, his naivety forbidding him full comprehension of her rhetorical question.88
She rolled off her friend and rose to her feet. “If he had just given me the book, everything would have been fine,” she muttered as she stepped over to the book in question.89
Luke clapped his hands and burbled nonsense to himself.90
Beth plucked the cookbook from the floor, glancing at the cover with a smile on her face. “Ironic.”91
The toddler dropped to his hands and knees and crawled to his prone father. “Dada?” 92
She glanced over at him and sighed. “Daddy’s… asleep.” 93
She pulled out her mobile and called the police, leaving an anonymous tip about a child left alone in a house, before turning away and walking out of the villa. 94
As she strolled back home, she examined the cover of the cookbook again. When she’d purchased it from the E-bay vendor she hadn’t believed the hand written note that had accompanied the book, but now she wasn’t quite sure what to believe.95
She remembered the note clearly: 96
Be careful with the book. You may be tempted to lend it to your friends. Please do not do so. My sister killed her best friend after she refused to return it. I only sold it because my sister committed suicide after going to prison. I found out she got it from a neighbour whose wife disappeared under suspicious circumstances.97
Beth let herself into her apartment, and placed the book with care on her bench top. She almost drooled at the decadent chocolate confections displayed in full colour on the front cover.98
Death by Chocolate was certainly worth killing over.99
Author notes
Please note - I'm Aussie, so I use Aussie spelling.
Also, a few people keep on pointing out that 'whinging' should be 'whining' - it is meant to be 'whinging' - as in 'whinge' with '-ing' on the end. It is NOT a typo.
The point where Beth warns him not to pull the knife out is practical first aid - you never pull an item that causes a puncture wound. She's just a practical type.
Death by Chocolate is a real cookbook - I own a copy. It has the most delectable chocolate recipes in, and I rarely let it out of my sight. The reason it is termed that, is that there is an urban legend mentioned in the book that one recipe (aptly termed 'Death by Chocolate') for a chocolate gatteau that is so good that it can evoke seizure and death.
The cookbook is out of print, and I dare say, some women would kill for a copy...
A contest entry
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Comments
1 - 59 of 59
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Wow this was such a good story! I love chocolate... but I might be avoiding any cookbooks for a while now! It was so dramatic, and the ending was so surprising and so unpredicatble from the beginning of the story! All that just for a single cookbook! Good job!
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Just for chocolate?
well honestly I love chocolate but this seems a bit ridiculous
but overall a great read 
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Agreed.
I own a copy as well - I sympathize. A delicious story from one of the best books in history. Very nice.
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I liked this one. It was good and very enjoyable too read. I am unable to pick my favorite part of this story. It was just good. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in the contest!!~
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This was really dramatic and shocking. It was really entertaining. It's funny how you got the idea, but it was very unperdictable I liked it a lot.
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wow. Definately a strange idea. It's really good!!
Plot: 5
Language: 4
Theme: 3
Total: 12
Great job!! Keep up the great work! Thank you so much for entering!!! -
that was fantastic and completely unusual. All for a book... Flowed well, descriptions were great. And the part when the knife went in, it was so calm...that just surprised me, not saying it was bad. Anyway, I loved it. The note at the end of the story, was that real in your copy?
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From the start, I could not stop reading it! It was so good I read it about eight times!
Grammar, Spelling, Punctuation, Capitalization
I didn't see any grammar, spelling, punctuation or capitalization mistakes, so nice job on that!
5/5
Vocabulary
A great variation of words, if I read it like eight times, that means it was good.
5/5
Plot
Your plot was creative and original, not to complicated or too boring. I had never seen a story like this. It was plain awesomeness.
5/5
Description
I was able to picture everything, the house littered with toys, the room, the knife in Pete's chest.... your story was well edited.
20/20 That... was... awesome.
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This was really good! The drama in it was great, and it had me on the edge of my seat. Great writing, and what an inspiration for a story!
Excellent job and thank you for entering my contest. Best of luck [: -
I was totally engrossed in it from the first word! It's creative and intresting.
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I'm speechless, that was so well put together and sooooooooooooooooooooooooo suspensful EXACTLY what i was looking for, I have to give u credit there was so much suspense in this story that I got so nervous I forgot to breath for like 5 seconds lol=] Very, very nicely done and thx so much for entering my contest=]!!!!!
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Brilliant! I loved this. Perhaps one of the most original pieces I have ever read on Storywrite. The entire concept is genius! I love the symbolicism in the title of the story and the book. Excellent!
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This is bomb!
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Wow.. really interesting read
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wow.
That was a very interesting story. I loved the storyline, and the reason behind the story was even better. I wish you the best of luck in my contest. -
I think it has a very interesting story line.
It isn't one of those cliche stories, and that is a good mark in my book
also, the main characters name is beth, and with my name being bethany i actomatically compare myself with beth, and when i think about it, I probably would kill for a cook book
=] -
omg fantastic! just under word limit, it's ok
ur aussie
it's AWESOME -
That was great. I liked how we didn't know what the book was about until the end, it really built up interest. It was a little odd that she wasn't a tad more upset about killing some guy, even if itwas on accident. Thanks for explaining the spelling in the AN's, but what does "winging" mean?
GOOD LUCK!
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Great story, but don't you think the wife will be looking for her book?
I Like Chocolate, but I don't think I want a copy of that book
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I've already read this. I'd just like to say again it's a wonderful story. Finalists list!
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A well-written, really good story which I thoroughly enjoyed!
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Grrr!
I decided to do a little winging
. I think the least you could do is define the word for the many readers that aren't Aussies. I like learning new words, but I couldn't find it in my online dictionary. I had to chase it down in an Aussie slang dictionary
.
Well done otherwise
.
Andy
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Hi!
I finally got to this story. It was well worth the read. It held humor thoughout. I knew from the start by the title that Beth or her friend was going to die, but you kept the suspense up and I wasn't certain which it would be almost up to the point in which he was killed.
I didn't know women would kill for chocolate, although you've offered to torture or kill me for less*rolf*.
I don't really have any suggestions for this story. It's very good.
Andy
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This was really good, you have a great skill!
Host -
I was gasping, really.
Near the end I was begining to think that the book had some kind of magical powers, but then again, Chocolate is magical
Great writing, I couldn't believe how graphic the images in my mind were. I could see everything going on like a mini-movie in my head. Whoot, weird
Anyway, now I'm going to go eat some chocolate. Mhmm, good old chocolate.
~Lone
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....
SOMEONE ELSE PLEASE ENTER THIS DAMN CONTEST!
Good story... but we'll see what else comes along...
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Haha, i love this. Death by choclate is a real snack too. I had it at school. Its really good. You did an awesome job writing this! I really love it. Its funny but kinda sad that she killed her fiend over a cookbook. Awsome jobbbb!!!!!!!
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Haha. Loved this. It's kinda wrong to kill over a cookbook but okay. People are weird these days. Anyways, great job, great story and good luck.
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This was a very interesting story. What some people would do for a book... it must have some amazing recipes in it.
This story was certainly entertaining, to say the least. I feel bad for the poor little boy, and the wife, even though she was apparntly a jerk. I'm sure that if she had known that her husbend would die if Beth didn't get the cookbook back, she would of handed it over; if she's any decent person at all.
Well, great story.
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As Said Before
I would have written what I put about it in the first comment. But having read it again, it felt different whilst reading. Good vocabulary, really loved it. No spelling mistakes (not any I found). Brill! Loved it!
Good luck
Lolly xbeginning: 3, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 4.
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Good story, and great imagination, i really did like this story. I feel that it was very well done and very nice flow to it.
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TITLE = 2/2PTS
STRUCTURE = 29/30PTS
FLOW = 15/15PTS
CHARACTERS = 19/20PTS
IMAGERY = 18PTS
DESCRIPTION = 5PTS
SETTING = 9/10PTS
was 97
leaniancy +3
total = 100/100 -
Tis amazing...so well written but more than that a unique and original idea for the plot. I am definitely in awe of your skills.
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A stroke of genius...
Oh, wow. I must say that this is the first piece I have ever read of yours, tallblondie, so don't think that I think your other pieces aren't strokes of genius...
The way the story developed was brilliant. The characters are believable...and the note was really surprising. I like that you use verbs and nouns (more than adverbs and adjectives) to describe what's going on. It really made me keep going and going. I truly do think that this should be published.
Typo:
all whinging [whining], complaining, nagging
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Hi - 'whinging' isn't a typo - it's British/Aussie term. Feel free to look it up in a dictionary. It is 'whinge' with the suffix '-ing'. Thanks for reading and commenting.
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Oh, well, just goes to show: you learn something new every day.
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The ending was so unexpected! This story was very well written, engaging and cleverly constructed. I really enjoyed reading this - and yes, I have heard of the death by chocolate urban legend.
Well done
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What an ironic story.
It was amusing to see a girl kill someone over a cookbook (whatever the circumstance). To find out it is a real book makes it even more amusing.
Don't mind Dan. I use single quotation marks all the time.
I'm often told that it's wrong but I don't listen.
I'm a writing rebel like that.
Greg
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Great!!
Great story! One of my litmus tests is my not being able to figure the ending out before I read it. You get a 10+ from me for that! I am looking forward to reading more of your work.
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 3.
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Very nicely written. Death by Chocolate... what a way to go!!
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'graph 36: "I'll kill you if (you) don't give it back to me."
'graph 61: all (whining), complaining
Ha! This was quite interesting...I sure as hell wasn't expecting that! Damn, what a cool story. Very inventive. You really captured everything here. What a weird way to go!
I really don't have anything else to offer. You are a gifted writer, and this story just proves it. Nicely done, blondie!
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*Gets round to commenting*
Hahaha! Death over a book? This is morbid, and funny, in a black sorta way.
Brilliantly told, as always. I could really feel her frustration when he wouldn't give her the book.
Erm... couldn't see anything I'd change, or suggest needing to be fixed, was all good.
Say, you should change to single quotation marks, really throw the Americans off.
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HahaHA
lol that's awesome.! hope you win the contest.! really well written, though at one point i didn't get it, but after re-reading that bit it became clearer. (just the bit when beth says "daddy's... asleep" or something, but other than that it's really good.! it's good as it is, i don't think i'd write a sequel. you know.? it's one of those good short stories. i just can't see a second chapter or anything.
really good ending. i like the way you bolded words to have emphasis put on them, and the way that beth's thoughts were in italics so you could tell she was thinking. nicer choice of descriptive words involved too.! like 'delectable'. (even though it's in your author notes, but still)
i hope you get a good placing in the contest.!
(hahaHA lol, i'd probably kill for a cookbook like that too.! lol.!)
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Some recipes are just to die for...I never thought of anything wrong when my mom used to say that!
Dark story,just like chocolate..
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OMG, I have this book, TB!!
I recall that cake Death By Chocolate. Drool-worthy, I swear! The story goes that some guy in a restaurant tried and loved it so much, the overly-chocolateness killed him in his seat. It's in the book, on the recipe page....at least in my edition. XD
Awesome story as always. You never fail to entertain. The title caught me. It's my fave cookbook. I so agree with Beth.
-HT
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Another great story tallblondie that I thoroughly enjoyed reading. I was glued to every word. Because of the title I had all sorts of thoughts in my mind - was there a recipe in the book that caused death by chocolate? Had he somehow killed his wife by chocolate? And then out of the blue he gets very aggresive over a book - it was hard at first to think he would go to such extremes as bringing a knife to her just to stop her taking back her book - just because he had given it to his wife. But as the story continued I got the feeling that it was more the hate for whinging women he hated and the mixture of that with the alcohol was sending him crazy. A really good write! I have just read a few of your stories and will definetely be watching out for more in future. You are a fantastic writer!
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Bloody Hell!
This would be a great Twilight Zone episode, except you need to kill him with my wife's brownies and then eat the evidence. (kidding) Loved it, but does boubon and coke come in cans Downunder? If so,can a Yank emigrate?
JJ
beginning: 4, language: 2, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 2, characters: 4.
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Yep, we get it in a can down here. Ain't we the coolest?
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Dayum!
This is a totally awesome piece of work. Do not mess with a woman and her chocolate! I loved this: “Gerdoffme,” she hissed. Wonderful!
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I was really shocked at the point where, after having killed the guy, she nonchalantly leaves, calls the police, and goes home, as if having just murdered someone wasn't going to ruin her chances of making much more of that chocolate. Honestly, it came across as really funny in the end.
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I'd applaud, but I don't seem to have any.
The story was very good, and showed how people can take very minor things to violent extremes. The cookbook wasn't really significant, but it sparked something much bigger. Obviously, Beth had some resentment for the Bitch, and wasn't fond of Pete's drinking. Things weren't perfect before the book.
As such, on the other hand, I think the story would have been more poignant without the warning. That implies that the apparent underlying causes had nothing to do with it and trivializes the human aspect - blames it all on a "curse."beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 3.
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Wow!
I absoulutely loved this story. At first, I found there was not much going on, but when you got to the bit where Pete takes the knife, I thought, 'wow, this is really exciting!'. I'd be spooked, if I had a copy of that recipe. I also like some of your vocabulary, but why did you call the story 'Death By Chocolate'? I know you said it had a recipe for a chocolate gatteau in the book, but how did it have anything to do with the story? All in all, it's a brilliant story! I'd give you more applause, but I don't have much left!
Lolly x
beginning: 2, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, characters: 3.
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Terrific story with a cool, intriguing plot and well-crafted characters! Keep it up, Blondie.
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This was great!
Wow, When I first read the title I was thinking as you put in your AN that someone would die while eating chocolate. This was so much better! Loved every moment and couldn't take my eyes off the page. Very well written and compelling. Great work!
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Haha, the way you set it up made me anxious, kind of nervous, scared. But then you came out with cookbook! I'm wondering, "Why is Pete being weird...?" Awesome start!
Oooh, bad move, Pete. PRESENT? Shame shame...
Holy crap! I can't believe how insane your characters are! Wow, but I really love them, the way you set them out for us... knives. Whoa. You don't see that everyday! (Points for ultimate original plot!)
Oh me... when this started, I really thought it would be a comedy. Great twist you gave us!
Wait - a comedic death? Is that what this can be called? Because, I have to admit, I WAS laughing a few times... It was stange, though, that Beth acted so calm to Luke's death.
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interesting
that was certainly a good play on words, and well written. Seriously, ver well done. Keep up the good work
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I have heard of this book of which you write, and thus knew this was the book in the story all along, but it didn't detract at all from the story, since it was the handwritten note which you had at the end that was the twist.
A couple errata I am incapable of not seeing:
P19, though the quote has a plethora of periods, it's still missing one
P87, comma after explain, maybe?
I like that you write with an Aussie accent, if you will. It means I get to read exotic literature, right here on my computer. I love Australia, and everyone I've ever met/become acquainted with from there has been pleasant, at the very least.
This story rocked, seriously. Short murder mysteries are so cool, and this one is very well done.
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Hmm ... nice job with this one, Ms Blondie!
I like your idea of a sort of "cursed book" -- and the way in which you write is signatory of a classic short story. I must say, this story had me hooked until the very end.
Death by Chocolate is a real book? Hmm ... not only most women, but some guys too might just want one.
Nice work!
RJ
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Was good but idk what about it i didnt like but your a good writter.
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