Untitled - Chapter 18 - Pulling Strings - Seg.2

{segment 2 of chapter 18 - Avalia}1

The room is huge. A large, canopied bed covered with embroidery and fine detail lies in the middle of the room, surrounded by ornately carved chests and cupboards. Windows line the walls on one side, framed with heavy green folds of fabric over the top of another two lace curtains on each. The room can only be described as regal. 2

I wonder as I sit on the end of my new bed, how many Outsiders could be clothed with all this material? Everything in my bedroom is soft and smooth, and this is only one room out of many in the Royal Apartments. I couldn’t help but stare, amazed, as Logan led me through, each room more magnificent than the last. How could it all be for one person?3

As Logan predicted, we met Valetish in the lift on our way here. She introduced herself, asked all sorts of probing questions, flattered me a bit by saying things like, “I’m impressed by how beautiful and polite you are, since you were raised as an Outsider,” and, “How brave you are! It must have been horrible to live like that, out there in the dirt.” Perhaps she thought they were compliments, but I was taken aback. I was too shocked to really take offence at the time, but afterward, when Logan told me to ignore her comments, I discovered my immediate dislike for the woman.4

Logan showed me around parts of the building, telling me where I could find certain departments and whatnot. When we briefly visited the vast library, only a small portion of the City Archives, a frightening man with metal teeth looked up from his book and grinned like a crocodile. I lost the ability to breathe. The man introduced himself as Pursh, Head of Defence, and though Logan had warned me about him, I couldn’t help but be intimidated. He clearly knew that I was scared and enjoyed the fact thoroughly, bearing his teeth as much as he could.5

It was a relief to leave and come to my new apartments, though now that I’m here, I just wish I were Outside, enjoying the luxury of a cave. Sighing, I lift my legs up onto the bed and cross them, hugging my knees as Logan returns from whatever other room he was explaining the use for. He stops on the soft black animal skin that lies on the floor by the base of my bed and silences, watching me.6

“You’re sad,” he states tactlessly. But I understand by now that that’s just the way he is.7

“Yes, Logan,” I murmur.8

“Why are you sad?” he asks, moving to sit by me. “Overwhelmed?”9

I nod. A long silence stretches after that. There’s more to it than that; I am overwhelmed, but I’m also homesick. And I feel alienated. Lost. And I miss Garn. 10

I just want to go home.11

Hesitantly, Logan reaches for me and puts his arm around my shoulders. He doesn’t seem to be as warm as most people, but the act itself is comforting. I nearly laugh; even when I don’t tell him anything, he knows exactly how to make me feel better.12

“Am I interrupting something?”13

Logan’s arm snaps back to his side and he stands quickly, though just as smoothly as ever. I look up to see who’s there, but I don’t otherwise move from my place on the bed. It’s a narrow-eyed man with dark, silver-lined hair. Without his usual gaudy attire, I barely recognise him. “Duvavi,” I gasp, letting my legs fall back down to the floor and trying desperately to look as neat and serene as he.14

“Your Highness,” he greets, bowing only barely. I’m confused more than anything; I thought he’d hate me beyond words for coming here and taking his throne, but he just looks… blank. I take a slow breath in the hopes of slowing my heartbeat. Is he going to attack me without warning? I wonder. Logan seems to think so; his body is tense with readiness.15

“Hello, Duvavi,” I say, surprised by the calm in my voice. “Do you wish to speak to me?”16

He raises an eyebrow and he looks as surprised as I am by my apparent composure. “I do, your Highness. How do you like your rooms?”17

I frown; I know these rooms used to be his and I don’t understand what he’s insinuating here. “They’re a little extravagant for my taste, but I’m sure I’ll get used to them,” I say. “That can’t be all you wanted to ask me, though.”18

“No, of course not,” he smiles. “You see, what I really came here for was to… was to ask your forgiveness,” he says smoothly, “for anything I may have said or done that offended you.”19

“Like trying to have me killed?” I ask dryly. I’m in too much of a bad mood to humour him and all this fake pleasantness has made something snap inside me.20

“Yes,” he laughs nervously. “That was one such indiscretion… And I believe we should put this behind us. I’ve come to terms with my demotion, and would be honoured to serve you as Chief Royal Advisor. You will be presented to the public tomorrow, and I hope that you will look to me for guidance in how you portray yourself to them, and in any other challenges you face in the future. I will be your most loyal servant,” he says, this time bowing very deeply.21

I stare at him in disbelief. Loyal servant? 22

“I… realise that you probably don’t believe me,” he mutters awkwardly. His sudden humble appearance makes me wonder if he’s actually serious. “But the truth is that though I was at first horrified to be removed from my position, what I really want is to do my job well. Whatever job I have. I want to continue making this City more and more perfect, and if this is what I must do, I will work beneath you to bring about this ambition,” he declares. “I hope you will grow to trust me, your highness,” he bows again before sweeping from the room.23

I blink at the doorway he disappeared through. What on earth…? Where did all that come from?24

“He was lying, I think,” Logan tells me. “Although he did seem determined as he made that speech, I think I know him well enough to know that he’s determined to do something very different to serving you.”25

Dazed, I nod wordlessly. He just swept in, told me that he would be my loyal servant, and left just as quickly. Is he trying to confuse me into giving back the throne? “Ugh,” I mutter, rolling my eyes to the ceiling. “I don’t want to be an Empress.”26

I expect Logan to ask why, but instead he asks, “What do you want to be?”27

I look at him in surprise, taking a moment to think about this. “I don’t know,” I admit.28

He nods reasonably. “Well, if you’re not going to be happy anywhere, you might as well give this a try. Maybe it’ll grow on you.”29

I make an effort to reply, but the sadness gets the better of me, so instead I let out a long, tired sigh. “Yes. Maybe I will.”30

There’s a long silence. Finally, Logan says, “I don’t understand why you’re so sad. Is it just shock? I don’t understand. Tell me what’s wrong, so I can fix it.”31

I smile dryly at him. “So you can fix it, Logan?” He nods, and I can’t help but laugh. “I’m sorry,” I say. “I guess I’m just exhausted. I kind of wish Garn was here; he’s always been a sort of…” It’s an effort to describe what I mean. “Like something... to hold onto so that I wouldn't get swept away.”32

“Oh,” he blinks, and then frowns. “Is this that… Are you talking about love?”33

“What?” The notion takes me completely by surprise, so much that it makes me start chuckling again. “No, no, Logan,” I laugh, “That wasn’t what I meant. Garn’s been with me since I left my troop on the Outside, and he’s the one fixed thing in my life right now. That’s all.”34

He nods vaguely. “Right. Well, I’m sure he’ll visit you sometime. You seem to be very close at least, and I don’t think he’d just forget about you.”35

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” I mutter. “He’s a spy, Logan. He took me to the City because it was his job to do so. Now I’m his Empress. I may never see him again, and if I do, it won’t be the same.”36

Raising an incongruously amused eyebrow, Logan paces to the window and turns to look at me again, silhouetted against the lace curtains. “You’re very pessimistic, Avalia. If everything’s so bad, why don’t you do something about it?”37