Confessions from a Moleskin ~ "I'm going to die a Virgin"- she cried

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http://vjmorton.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/chansons-damour.jpg
Am I going to die a virgin?2

On a personal scale, my fears where always in comparison to that of my virginity and reproduction.3

In my eighteen years of sexuality crisis, after crisis. I do to some people remain a virgin. 4

But what does this accusation and assumption account to?5

I have made love, fucked and had sex in many ways. I have known and engaged in sexual activities since I was eight and even younger6

My very first sexual experiment was when I was seven. “The game” it was called. Initially between my best friend, as more girls slept over... the game grew.7

It seemed as I got older “The game” grew in many more ways- from experimentation to my first real time.8

Then what is a real time? I have had many tragic encounters that I do not count as being enough to take my virginity. For me I do not see it the same as many.9

From what I remember as I view it, I lost my virginity at the age of Thirteen. My first “real time” and it was with a woman. After that men seemed less appealing. 10

So as I view it I have never had sex with a man. Does that make me a virgin?11

Then what does my time in the cyber world account for? In the world where I showed myself, revealing everything, baring everything in many ways. Does this make me a virgin? Or have I lost my virginity to my lovers from distant lands?12

Finally: what makes me a virgin? If experimentation has fueled my life?13

While I may have not been smothered in come or orgasm to a climax from penetration. I have experimented with many objects, people, liquid and animals (yes animals--- Oh woe me I am a sick bitch) --- But I can guarantee you I am not alone and I am certainly not ashamed- It is human nature to be curious.14

Now lets not forget the passion and love from a conversation on the phone, while where I struggled to find the words... the sexual love was all there.15

So what does that mean for me? What does that mean for people like me? I know for sure and a fact I am not alone. Am I a virgin to that.16

In answer to my question-  Am I going to die a virgin- No for I believe I am not a virgin. But you might perceive it differently.17

Author notes

I have not much to say. What you see is what you get and this is my truth and my life and I wish to share as I am curious about how people percieve virginity ~

~ Blair~

In a list

Please Actually COMMENT - I do not care if it is bad- I really hate it when people view and say nothing~ I am trying to grow- not wither and die ~ SO freaking come on- I do the same for everyone -

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Comments


  • escapist
    September 29, 2008

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    your are right..

    you are not alone..we have our own share of sexual experimentation..You are so brave on everything you write and very very talented.

    I have reading your works for quite sometime now and you are one of the reason why I kept coming back to storywrite.

    Entertain us more


  • Reaver Greeters member
    September 11, 2008

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    Bravo!!

    Really great Blair...getcha thinking kind of thing! Enjoyed reading! Cheers!


  • Lady Eventide Greeters member
    September 11, 2008

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    An interesting outlook on what virginity really means...what it can mean. The question itself 'Am I going to die a virgin?' really pulled me in, for I wondered how you were going to answer. The questions throughout made me think. Again, interesting.

    my fears where [were] always


  • eyeambaldman
    September 10, 2008

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    This is an interesting insight into your mind. And a phone conversation? hmmmm....I bet THAT was an interesting one!

    I thought this had some cool questions and provocative ideas here. Really makes ya think!