Chapters 1-10 of "The Black Glove" (Please read end notes first)

Prologue1

It’s amazing really. How incredibly useless one can feel. There are the good people in this world, and there are the bad, and if you asked anyone on the street which one of those two people I was, they’d tell you I’m the latter. Because of it, I’m completely useless. It’s not an easy thing to do necessarily, feeling that awful about oneself. You almost have to make yourself feel that way. You have to have a certain attitude towards life, toward the people around you. Then, and only then, can you find what’s truly bothering you, deep in your roots. You have to dig deep, and deeper than you ever thought you would have to. But that’s what I’ve done. I’ve realized, here, moments left before I die, and I’ve finally realized; I have a deep, deep-rooted problem, and, if you promise not to tell, I’m here to tell you, the few who – care, the who, what, when, and where.2

Chapter 13

Ever since I was born, my mother knew that something would be wrong with me. It stemmed from my father, Treyson. From everything my mother told me, he was a sick man. Psychoanalysis wouldn’t prove anything, but he was crazy. He wouldn’t even admit it to himself. Somehow, he figured that he had powers that no normal man could have. Something about electricity, but I’ll never really find out. He committed suicide the day I was born. I think that above all other things is the thing that made him the most crazy. To give up on your family like that. But I suppose that the whole electricity bit would make sense if you reflect it on my life. Some crazy family we have.4

I was born on a Thursday. Thursday, June 7th at 8:00 a.m. That could be a part of this whole thing, but that’s just superstition. I came out perfectly, no complications, in almost record time, I cried, I screamed, I have an innie belly button. I was a smooth birth. My mother took me home 2 weeks later, and I grew up with her mentoring me and feeding me, and treating me like the perfect child. You could say I was spoiled.5

My little brother was born when I was 5. I never knew who his father was. Someone my mother hosted at our ever-famous bed and breakfast in Colorado probably. There were so many men that just came and went. I looked up to her for so long until my logics finally caught up with me when I was 11. At the end of fifth grade after sex ed. I remember the day that I realized that my brother couldn’t possibly have been born from the same father. That was a beautiful day. I cried, I cursed, I said things that I didn’t even know the significance of. I thought she was a whore. I wouldn’t realize until later how much I actually didn’t care about that.6

I figured he was lucky, my brother. I got my fathers sickness, and he was normal. As an 11 year old, you figure that you wished you’d have been him. I got jealous that he was so average. I suppose I should tell you why I wasn’t average. I was always a very intelligent person. Language was never really my thing, but I loved science and I loved math, but it was an over burning passion, not just a love. I excelled above my entire class, and even above classes ahead of me. I was taking 7th grade math in 4th grade. By the time I had reached 8th grade, I was taking freshman year college math courses. It was 8th grade that my mom decided to stop home schooling me. Something a bout “It’ll give you a taste of normal life!” My brother, then, was jealous of me. He didn’t realize I had a curse. My mother was so proud of me. By the same token, she knew that it would lead to something horrible.7

When I turned 15, it happened.8

Chapter 29

“Hey man, where have you been?” My best friend Patrick called me.10

“I just got back from Texas man! We went to my uncle Deuce’s house for the weekend to pick up some of my dad’s stuff that he’s had for a while. Why? What’s up?” I was sitting at my desk in my room rummaging through the boxes we had brought back.11

“I was wondering… do you wanna come over? Michelle and Anna are coming, and we’re gonna have a little party. They’re bringing ‘the good kind’. You should hang with us tonight!”12

“I don’t know man,” I found a picture of my dad and uncle in tuxedos, “it’s a Sunday night, and I don’t wanna wake up tomorrow with a hang over. That’s just stupid yeah? Besides, my mom expects me up early tomorrow to help out with unloading all this ‘dad’ crap.” I put the photo down.13

“Come oooooon man. Take a break from this worrying about your dad crap. Michelle wants to see you dude. She’s missed you!” He said it with this taunting tone that put me to blush.14

“Shut up man!” My face was bright red. Good thing we were just on the phone. I never could get the hang of not blushing.15

“Alright, well… If you change your mind, just call me up yeah? We’d love to have you.” He talked me into it. Too bad I gave into peer pressure.16

“You know what? Why not.” I resolved.17

“Alright! That’s what we like to hear! Show up at like… 8:00 or so? My p’s are out of town, so…”18

“Sounds good. I’ll be there.” I hung up. It was already 7:00. I would walk there. My mom worked the night shift on Sundays, so I’d be fine. She would leave in half an hour anyway.19

“Sweetie, I’ll be back at 2:00 tonight, I have to go early to pick up a friend. Carpooling is green you know.” She was obviously concerned about me. Her tone gave her away.20

“Okay Mom. Are you alright?”21

“Yes sweetie, I’m just… flustered. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”22

“Okay. Mom? I love you.”23

“I love you too honey. Take care of yourself okay?” She kissed my forehead.24

“Mom, please. I’ll be fine. Go to work, the hospital needs you.”25

“Okay, bye honey. Marcus!” She yelled for my brother, “I’ll see you tomorrow honey!” 26

“Bye Mom.” He said from his room where he was busy playing video games.27

The garage door closed behind my mother, and she drove off to the hospital to save more peoples lives. If anyone was a hero to me, she was for what she did, but I had my own life, and I wanted to live it. I always appreciated my mother, but I always took her for granted. That night, I definitely took her warning for granted. That night, I definitely blew it. I went to Patrick’s house. When you’re a teen-ager, you think that you have no limits, that no rules apply to you, that you’re invincible. At least that’s how I was.28

Michelle was beautiful. She was my first love. She had ruby red hair, and a sleek, slender physique. Her skin was as white and soft as finely powdered snow at Christmas. Her green eyes pierced your existence, and their radiance could make you believe in God. I was a very lucky boy to have a friend like her, but I never could get the courage to ask her to be my girlfriend. Of course, Patrick knew that I had a crush on her, and he teased me for it all the time.29

Patrick’s house was huge. A mansion almost. He had a pool, a 60’ flat screen T.V. in his room, the living room, and his parents’ room, an air hockey table, and all the good things that most people can’t afford. His family was obviously very well off. His dad was into big business, that’s the whole reason his parents were out of town. His dad had some conference on weather or not transnational exports and imports were damaging the economy and the stock market. I could have told him that easily. Needless to say, I didn’t care. I went to his house, and that night, we all had a great time. But as they say, it’s all fun and games until something explodes. The girls brought the alcohol, Patrick had the host house, and I… brought good movies?30

“Do you guys wanna watch a movie?” I asked.31

“Depends on what you brought.” Patrick replied. He obviously wasn’t about to watch the movie. The only thing that he was interested in at the time was Anna.32

“Like you’re going to watch the movie anyways.” Michelle said. We all chuckled. He had his arm around Anna, sitting on the granite counter top in his kitchen, drinking “the good kind”. I don’t even remember the actual name of the stuff to this day, but I drank it too. Something about alcohol was soothing to me after all those years of home schooling. It was my release. Under the light, Patrick’s dirty blonde hair got brighter, and he looked very Aryan. With Anna under his arm and a bottle in his hand he looked older, and not in a good way. She was helplessly rested on his shoulder with her hand on his stomach, and he was living the good life. Her brunet hair turned blonde under the luminescent bulb and was almost translucent, and when she closed her eyes, she looked ghostly. She clung to his red polo with her hand and nuzzled her head into his chest. He was also very fortunate to have found someone like her -- despite her smoking habit.33

I was very shy. Patrick and the girls liked me, but they were really my only friends. They respected me for being so intelligent. It’s almost as if they took me under their wings and taught me a normal life. Growing up as a home schooled child, you don’t get much of a social life, and so it’s hard to grow into one. So, needless to say, Michelle and I were sitting at the kitchen table, but the only part of us that was touching was nothing. I was in a perpetual blush. I couldn’t get over my teen-age hormones and just hold her hand. She was almost too lovely, and to this day, I regret not having done it. We were facing them, talking and laughing and smiling when Anna sat up.34

“Lets play truth!” She proclaimed.35

“What’s truth?” I inquired.36

“It’s like truth or dare, without the dare part.” Said Michelle, “That sounds like fun.”37

The problem with truth was that the only thing it really accomplished was humiliation, and getting dirt on people. If anything had left from that room that night, I would have been a goner at school the next day. Not that that mattered in the end.38

“I’ll ask the first question!” Said Anna. We all mumbled our consent, “Okay… How long have you two been crushing on each other?” She directed it at Michelle and I. She was getting the good stuff out of the way first.39

We were shocked. Neither of us had mentioned anything to the other in the past at all about having a crush on the other. It was all kind of in my head, but looking back, I was pretty transparent. I figured, if I didn’t grow a set of balls then, I never would, so I answered first.40

“Since the first day of school.” Butterflies filled my stomach and my heart beat as fast as a humming bird’s wings. I repeated it under my breath. Michelle looked at me. She blushed, she smiled, and she answered:41

“Well… For a while.” That was the first mention of anything. It hit me so hard that I couldn’t bring myself to speak. I sat in shock and awe and the next 5 seconds seemed to me as 5 years. I wish that I could have been longer, but Patrick spoke up.42

“I KNEW IT! Actually, you knew I knew it, but now she knows man!”43

“You talk like I’m not right here Patrick.” Michelle joked in protest, “Okay, now I have to ask, how long have you known?” She directed it at Pat.44

“Since the day I met the kid! We were sitting at the lunch table and he looked at you and looked at you and looked at you, so finally I was just like, ‘Dude. Say something’ and finally he was just like, ‘She’s beautiful…’ and the rest is history.”45

“That’s adorable!” Said Anna. “Was that how you reacted to me Pat?”46

“Hey, watch it, it’s not your question.” Patrick replied.47

“Is that how you reacted to her Pat?” Michelle had to butt in. She stuck out her tongue. Every one of her movements made me love her more.48

“Smart ass…” He said, but replied anyways, “No it’s not. I always just thought you were a hottie. You were the one I figured I could never have, and so I tried for it, because I’m that kind of guy.” He winked, “Then I found out how deep you really are later, and I have no regrets.” He digressed. Anna looked at him with that adorable pout that girls look at you with. She gave her thanks with a kiss. I felt a rush of jealousy through my veins. “Now it’s my turn.” He said, “Why don’t you kiss him Michelle?” I blushed again. There were too many emotions.49

“That’s a dare Pat!” She teased.50

“Come on!” Anna said. I was hiding in my hands now, smiling and giggling. She leaned over and gave me a peck on the cheek. I crumbled and melted.51

“It’s your turn now man.” Pat directed me. “Ask something.” He took a swig of his drink. I babbled:52

“Will you go steady with me?”53

Michelle giggled, “Of course wise guy! When were you planning on asking!” She kissed me again, this time lightly on the lips. Of course the kiss was accompanied by a slight punch to my shoulder. She then wrapped her arms around me. I hugged her back. Anna and Patrick smiled and laughed at us, and gave their consent by looking at us like their son or daughter had just gotten married. I was incredibly happy in that moment. My eyes popped half out of my head.54

“Dude, it’s your turn.” Pat spoiled it for me. I sat and thought for a few seconds.55

“What do you all think of me?” The hustle and bustle stopped. They were all taken aback, including Michelle. “I want you to be honest. This is truth after all isn’t it? Sorry to put a damper on things, but I’m just curious.”56

“That’s fine man.” Pat spoke up first, “The first day I met you I had my doubts. I mean, you are a bit of a geek,” I nodded my head in agreement with a slight smirk of understanding, “but after I hung out with you for a while, I realized that you’re a good guy. You’re a real kicker man! I think that you’ll end up doing something great in the end, and I’m not just being gushy. I kind of look up to you.” I blushed again.57

“Thanks.” I sounded childish.58

“No turning gay on us you two.” Joked Anna, “But seriously, you are a good guy.”59

It was Michelle’s turn to answer. “I always thought you were cute. From day one. That’s why I started hanging out with you,” It came out in chops, “then, when I finally started hanging out with you, turns out your personality was just as adorable.” She stroked my cheek. I was finally happy. Maybe truth wasn’t such a bad game after all.60

“But I have to say buddy,” There’s always a catch, “sometimes you need to keep a hold on your emotions.” Patrick admitted.61

“Yeah, I figured someone would say that.” I was still a little bit tongue-tied. I fumbled to stand up. I had to make sure my feet still worked. In my haste and clumsiness I knocked over a bottle of “The Good Kind” and it spilled all over me. “Shit,” I griped, “Can I go outside real quick?”62

“You don’t gotta ask man. Take your time.” I left to the patio. I stood and sighed, looking over the railing down at the swimming pool. They don’t know that I over heard Patrick telling Michelle to come after me, while he and Anna moved into the living room. Michelle stepped outside and I nearly pissed myself. She kissed me.63

“Thank you.” She whispered in my ear. We kissed again. I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed. I didn’t want to let go. Her head rested perfectly on my shoulder, like it was always meant to be there, and we stayed for as long as we could. Anna came out and interrupted awkwardly.64

“Sorry guys, I’m just gonna have a smoke.”65

“I’ll see you later.” Michelle said abruptly as she untangled herself from my arms. She never did like smoke. She pecked my cheek again, gave me a smile, leaving her hand on my arm for as long as she could, and went inside.66

“Want one?” Anna inquired.67

“No thanks.” I said, “Smoke kills.” I sounded like a bad informational film that they show you in high school.68

“And alcohol doesn’t?” Good point, I thought. “You know,” She continued, “you’re a lucky guy… Really.” I was listening, “You’ve got a beautiful girl, and the best of best friends. All that stuff he said about you? He really meant it.” She made an occasional gesture at me with her newly lit cigarette, “Why I’m telling you this now, I have no idea, but the way he talks about you really isn’t light, and he really respects you. You should really take it seriously.” She took a drag of her cigarette, “I really appreciate the way you influence him.” She paused, “Really… Thanks.” She sounded like a mother talking about her child.69

“I look up to him too. Really, it’s a two way deal.” I was overloaded with “really”s. She blew smoke into the air. It trickled into the moonlight, above the pool that reflected a radiant night sky. She smiled at me, and went back inside. She traveled through the kitchen and the dining room into the living room. I followed.70

“Can I borrow your cell phone Pat?” I asked.71

“Sure man.” He tossed it to me from the sofa and I caught it. The black flip phone stuck to my right hand. I wanted to call my brother to make sure that he was safe, and even more importantly, still at home. I dialed my home phone and it started to ring.72

Anna must not have put out her cigarette outside because the next thing that happened there was a fire. I didn’t know exactly what was going on, it happened too quickly. These things happened all the time, or so I’d heard, but who knew it would happen to me? Later I would find out that a cigarette may have been dropped a little too far from the ornate ashtray, where it caught fire to a piece of paper. The friends, startled, may have accidentally spilled their alcoholic beverages, which the fire snapped to immediately. The drops from the spillage then could have set fire to the vintage rug beneath the platinum coffee table and spread to the walls where it probably ate through the exterior and into the wooden frame of the house. From then I knew that the flames engulfed the entire edifice, and we were all still inside. The deep red monster ate away at the finely finished frame of the house. The three of them were in the living room while I was almost back to the patio to call my brother. I can only suspect that the fire started in the living room because it worked its way out to the kitchen. I was terrified. I had never experienced a fire before. It was a whole night of firsts: My first kiss, my first “party”, my first girlfriend, and it absolutely had to end with my first fire. The smoke bellowed into the night, erupting with sounds of lights and expensive electronics exploding. It was beautiful from the inside, but it was a vicious killing animal. I ran into the living room as quickly as I could.73

“MICHELLE!” My screams could be barely be heard over the fire. “PATRICK, ANNA, WHERE ARE YOU!” I could faintly make out their figures a little farther back through the smoke. I had to at least try to save them. I shouted frantically with a crying desperation in my voice. For some reason I kept gripping Patrick’s phone. I guess I thought it would come in handy later. I crawled back into the room under the raising grey abyss. Fire safety videos can prove useful. I crawled back to them and yelled for them to get on the ground. Michelle was already on the ground, but she was barely conscious. She must have passed out from the smoke. I stood up and put her over my shoulder. I yelled for Anna and Pat again to crawl outside, but they were too far behind the smoke to see. I ran outside with Michelle on my shoulder as quickly as I could and put her down, the sleek black phone still in my hand, its cheap plastic beginning to melt. I ran back inside, but the fire was everywhere. When I said that smoke kills, I didn’t expect a house to burn down. I couldn’t even make it five steps into the kitchen before the flames cut off my path. My right hand was burning from the crappy plastic that was melting into it, and my body was cut and bloody from the shards of broken glass that I had crawled over. The skin on my left hand was seared to the point that my fingers were melting together. Michelle was battered and bruised, and would have scars later from her skin having been burnt severely. Sometimes, being a hero has a price, and this was the biggest price I’ve paid in my life.74

Two of my best friends died that night.75

Chapter 376

I sat up, my head pulsing. The unbearable strain on my temples made me lie back down. I must have passed out after the incident, but where was I, and more importantly, where was Michelle? I had lost any hope by that time that Patrick or Anna had survived. I knew the second I put Michelle down on the porch that they were through. I laid and cried for a solid five minutes. That was all I could really muster up considering the pain I was in. His words kept repeating in my head: “You’re a real kicker man! I think that you’ll end up doing something great in the end…” It echoed and echoed until I was sure that I heard it right in front of me. I sat up again, this time, taking in my surroundings.77

“The hospital?” I thought out loud. But why the hospital? I was sure that I could make it without the help of some guy telling me what to and not to do. I saw the clock. It read 7:00 a.m. I tried to stand up. “Ouch!” I yelped and laid back down. I dozed into a trance. My head was in a ridiculous amount of pain. I reached my hand to my head. What was wrong with it? It was hard to the touch. I looked at it and realized that the black plastic of Pat’s phone was still seared jaggedly to my skin. My left hand was scarred and tattered, my fingers sticking to each other from being welded together by shear heat. I flinched at the sight of it. The scars were brutal, up and down my arms. They looked like I was digitally animated, but my careless animator failed to turn in the final project. I was a second rate person, not only for my scars and seared skin, but because I couldn’t save Patrick or Anna.78

MICHELLE! She popped back into my mind. Where was she? Was she okay? Damnit! I had to know. My mother walked into the room with Marcus underneath her arm. Her eyes were gushy with half-formed tears, and my brother’s eyes were fixed on my right hand. I hid it.79

“Honey, are you alright?” my mother finally started.80

“Aside from a major headache, and THIS!” I showed her my arms forcefully, “yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”81

“The doctor said that you would be okay to come home after I get off work today if you said you felt alright. What happened that night?” she prodded.82

“I don’t exactly know actually.” I strained to remember, “I was outside on the porch when the fire started. I don’t know what happened. I just knew that I wanted to save… Michelle! Mom! Where is she?”83

“She’s in a room down the hall sweetie. No need to panic. She does not seem to remember much about the event either. The last thing that she remembers is waking up on the bed this morning.” What morning was it? Conceivably, I could have been out for more than just one night. Was school in session today? Why did that matter to me? I was obviously out, and with good reason. I put my head on the cheap pillow looking into the bland white ceiling. They’d torn out all the glass from my skin and given me multiple stitches, that’s why it was scarred, but what about the crappy cell phone plastic?84

“Mom? Did they say anything about the plastic in my skin?”85

“They did all the could honey. They can’t get it off. The only way would be amputation and I told them that I refused to have that happen.” Well, I suppose it’s better than a right-handless existence. “You know that Pat and Anna-- Well—They--”86

“Yes. I know.” I said, my heart twisted.87

“Why did you go out that night?” she said, shaking her worried head, the half formed tears starting to come out. She paused. I didn’t answer. “Honey, why?” she said, more firmly this time with a little bit more vigor. I was silent again. “Listen to me, you’re my son, and I love you, but I’m also very upset with you for going out. You could easily have died that night, and it’s a miracle that you didn’t! I’m glad that you’re still here to see another day, but don’t you think that I have to do something to punish you?” I looked down in shame. “You’re very lucky that I’m a reasonable mother, and I consider sitting in a hospital room for 4 days unconscious punishment enough, but you have to promise me that you’ll be more respectful of the house rule, do you understand?” So it was a Thursday. I knew it. I had always hated Thursdays. I nodded my head in comprehension and my mom came to stroke my cheek. My disgusting scarred pitiful cheek. She kissed my forehead.88

“Come on Mom, don’t you have to take Marcus to school or something?” I asked, embarrassed.89

“Oh yeah. I’ll be back to visit later okay?”90

“All right Mom. I love you.”91

“Love you too sweetie.” And she left. I couldn’t cry in front of my mother, but I managed to cry a good deal more the next couple hours. “I think that you’ll end up doing something great in the end…” I kept hearing it. “All that stuff he said about you? He really meant it.” over and over again until I couldn’t stand to listen. I finally came to my senses and figured I was going stir crazy. I had, after all, been in the same room for four and a half days. The nurse walked in the room.92

“How do you feel?” she asked me with a disgustingly fake pep.93

“Fine.” I blurted abruptly, “I could really use some pain meds.”94

“That’s why I came!” Her damned PEP! “Here are your pills.” She handed me the little paper cup. I was tired and cranky. I downed the pills as she was leaving the room.95

“Wait!” I called out, “I want to go visit my friend. She’s a couple rooms down. Her name is Michelle Felton.”96

“Well, I don’t think that can be arranged.” Her disgustingly fake pep was making me sick. What made people think that they could go on acting so arrogant around me? I was in control of my life, and that stupid nurse had no say in weather I went to see Michelle or not.97

“Can’t be arranged my ass! I want to see her! I’m going.”98

“Ummm… Young man!” she said, desperately as I left the room. “Young man, you can’t do that!”99

The hell I can’t I thought to myself. She continued calling for me as I stormed down the hall, my head still pulsing. These damned people trying to control me. Could they not see that I was in grave emotional, not to mention physical, pain? I marched down the hallway in search of Michelle. I caught my reflection in a mirror on the back of a door. My face had minor scars, one, very large, directly across my forehead, and a small one down my right cheek angled at my right shoulder, and one at the tip of my nose. I touched my new face. I was disgusted with it, but I realized, and admitted, reluctantly, that I would have to live with it. I wanted to punch something. Maybe that would curb my anger toward my unsightly appearance. I got the better of myself, cracking my knuckles, and trudged on.100

I finally got to Michelle’s room. Her mother, father, and older brother were all there, her mother at the end of a cry. Michelle was sleeping, her angel face still holding its elegance despite the scars she had attained. A few bruises here and there, but other than that, her appearance had hardly touched. Her hair was luscious in the bright luminous light.101

“Hello, son,” her father said to me as he walked towards me after putting a vase of flowers on the bedside table, “You’re recovering quickly I presume?”102

“Yes sir.” I replied in as mannered a tone as possible, “How— How is— Is she all--” I stuttered.103

“She’ll be fine.” He finally cut in, a bit anxiously, “The doctor said that she’d be back on her feet by tonight, and that we could take her home. My poor baby girl caught up in such nonsense.” His eyes began to water, “Such a pitiful pastime.” He spit his P’s, “All these damned kids thinking they can get off smoking and partying. They’re killing everyone around them! All this because of YOUR little party!” Oh, so now I was being accused for the misfortune? I was the culprit? Could he not see my scars? I was the hero here, thank you very much. I went back for your daughter, and I tried to save Pat and Anna.104

“Sir,” I began curtly, “I’m very sorry, but with all due respect I—“105

“Do NOT talk to me about respect son! If you can’t even respect yourself, how can you expect me to believe that you would respect me, much less my daughter?” His emotions began to run with his brain, which was moving too quickly for him to keep up with to begin with. “You say goodbye, and then you get out of this room, and do not EVER come near my daughter again. Do we have an understanding?”106

“Mr. Felton, I--” still couldn’t get an entire sentence in107

“Young man, I suggest you do as I say. You have very little merit in my book right now, and my daughter doesn’t need to be hanging around with the likes of you! You are lucky that I’m giving you the chance to bid farewell. I suggest that you take it.”108

In my mind I was cursing him. Damned fool couldn’t get past the fact that just because there was a fire didn’t mean that I caused it! He couldn’t set aside his damned teenage stereotyping and listen to what I had to say. The bastard. I made sure that my face showed my anger.109

“Come on Marian, Joseph, we’re going home.” He shot me a look of disgust as he left the room. I returned it.110

I shuffled over to the side of her bed. Her eyes were still closed when I touched her cheek. She woke up. She winced back a bit at the sight of me. Not because of my face, I don’t think, but because it was so sudden that I was there.111

“Oh… I didn’t realize it was… you.” Her voice shuddered.112

“Yes, it’s me. I’m here. I’m here.”113

“What happened?” She was near tears.114

“You really don’t remember?”115

She shook her head, “First thing I remember is… We were playing truth… and… Did we kiss?”116

She at least remembered that. I nodded my head in confirmation. “But that’s not the point. Michelle, they died.” I reluctantly revealed.117

“Who? Who died?” She said, softly at first. I was very surprised. I looked at her in disbelief for a moment, “Tell me who died!” She was a bit more flustered, a sense of panic in her worried face. I could hardly find the confidence to tell her.118

“Patrick… and Anna. They’re both gone. They died in the fire.”119

“No. No you’re wrong. YOU’RE WRONG!” She really had no idea, “Why had nobody told me!” she was screaming, “Why had nobody told me!” She repeated it over and over again. I cried with her; for her. I hid in my distorted hands. Should I hug her, should I leave, should I say something? It was so painful watching her cry. My emotions hung on the very threads that hers did, and as a result, were a direct repercussion of hers.120

“Michelle, I…” The peppy nurse busted in with a security force member at her side.121

“Young man, I suggest you return to your room.” The burly bastard snapped.122

“Ugh. Fuck off!” I said, under my breath.123

“Excuse me son?” he said, obviously aware of what I had whispered, “Come with me.” I didn’t move, “NOW!” I reluctantly started to walk toward him and Peppy McPep. He grabbed me by the arm.124

“I’m coming back Michelle. Don’t worry, I’m coming back.” She looked at me with her sad eyes. My heart sank. We returned to my room.125

“You’ve caused enough ruckus for one day, I’d say.” She gave me a cup of juice, which I drank, frustrated, “That should put you out ‘till your mom gets back you cheeky lil’ bugger.” WHAT! Damn tha— that peppy— peppy little bi…126

I was out.127

Chapter 4128

I threw my head up. I was in a state of confused time a lot of the time recently. My mom had taken me back home already and I was lying on my bed. It was 2:30 am when I looked at the clock on my wardrobe. I groaned, rolled my eyes, and put my head back to face the ceiling. Disasters could really turn your world upside down, and I found that out the hard way. I yawned and wiped my eyes, as anyone would do at 2:30 a.m. I stayed looking at the ceiling for a good hour, contemplating life and death and what life is really worth in the end. What was its purpose? What was my purpose? I saw a movie once, and one of the lines had something to do with you can either live a life filled with purpose, or you can live a life filled with happiness. To live a happy life you must live completely in the moment, and love everyone and everything unconditionally. To live a life filled with purpose you must dwell incessantly on the past and obsess about the future. I completely agree with that, but was I destined to lead a happy life or a purposeful life? I didn’t even know if I believed in destiny or not. I figured that there had to be a happy medium, but at that moment, I was dwelling in the past.129

I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that my two best friends had actually died. Gone to another realm of existence if you will. It was so hard to believe that I would actually never see them again. What were they doing now? Were they doing anything? Were they still together? Would I actually see them one day? My mind was riddled with these questions that were unanswerable. I racked myself trying to find a logical way to stop it. Watch a movie? Too late. Eat something? Again, too late. Read something? I hate reading. Beat myself up? Well, maybe. Then, when I came across suicide, I finally stopped. Was I mad? Suicide? That was out of the question. I got out of bed and walked to the kitchen for a drink of water. Water would solve it. A nice, cold, tall glass of water.130

I reached into the glass door of the cabinet and grabbed a cup. I used my left hand because my right one was immobile. I filled the cup with ice and tap water. Evidently, tap is better for you than bottled. Thank you Mom. I sat up at the kitchen counter and began to drink. My body was half awake, but my mind was on full speed. I looked at every item in the room with a different sense of appreciation. “I’ve changed,” I thought, “Who knows if it’s for the better?”131

My mind wandered for a bit. How was Michelle dealing with this? I let myself wrap my thoughts around her for a moment or two, when suddenly, I began to feel a tingle in my right hand.132

“It’s just asleep.” I thought out loud, “Sleeping.”133

After I had finished my water, I had expected it to stop, but it continued to tingle, and it continued to get more severe. After a couple more minutes it felt like needles being relentlessly stuck through my skin. I looked down at my hand. The plastic! What was happening? It was sliding like a million garden snakes around my hand. It wrapped around, its jet-black sleekness enveloping my hand. I held it in the air, looking and waiting.134

“STOP IT!” My mind was screaming. I didn’t want to wake my family. “STOP IT PLEASE.” I was crying it hurt so badly. What was this monster taking me over? The plastic kept morphing and enclosing my hand, wrapping it like a strongly applied ace bandage. The pseudo-liquid dripped down my wrist. After 5 minutes of torture, it finally stopped. “What is this?” I thought scared out of my mind, “What is going on?” Tears trickled down my reddened cheeks. I looked at my hand in complete disbelief, turning it on all angles to get a better look.135

“It’s a lucid dream!” The epiphany struck, “That’s it! It’s all just a very, very bad dream. My biology teacher always told me that if you managed to be able to look at your hand in a dream, if you can get that much control over your dream, then you could take complete control of it! That’s it! Lucid dream. Dreaming.” My thoughts made so much sense. I kept on repeating it to confide myself in it. Lucid dream, lucid dream, lucid dream. I would go back to my room, and get back to sleep, and when I woke in the morning, it would all be gone. That was it. It would be gone. But it felt so real. It looked so real. As badly as it hurt, though, the best part about it was that I could move my hand again. It was moving! But if this was a lucid dream, and I had control of it, then why was my left hand still deformed, and why did I still have the scars? I would never wish for that. Ever. So what was going on?136

I shut off the lights in the kitchen and returned to my bedroom a little more confident. Maybe if I slept and woke up something would be different. So I did the logical thing. I went to bed.137

Chapter 5138

I woke up. The first thing I did was put my hand to my head. It was still moving. It was still black. Nothing had changed. What was going on with me? Too many questions were floating around aimlessly in my mind causing a massive headache. I shut my eyes and massaged my temples. My right hand was rock solid, but still able to move. I sat and thought for a while looking at the clock. I had to go downstairs for breakfast soon or I would miss the bus. 139

SCHOOL! I had been so busy thinking about Michelle Anna and Pat and my screwed up life that I had completely forgotten about school. What was going to happen? This would be a day not soon forgotten. I threw on the best clothes I could muster in twenty seconds and decided that it might be a good idea to wear a glove. I mean really, when you see a guy with a hand that looks like shiny black plastic, wouldn’t you think he was a freak? I picked up one of my white winter gloves and put it over my right hand. I headed out to the kitchen to make myself anything I could that took ten seconds.140

My mother was there with my little brother.141

“Sweet heart, you’re going to be late!”142

“Yeah, thanks Mom, I kind of already noticed.” I spat back at her.143

“Just take this granola bar, and it’ll tide you over ‘till lunch. You’ll be fine, just don’t stress. After all, ‘A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.’”144

It was so easy for her to say. Just don’t stress my ass. I had a freak hand, two dead friends and another who had just gotten home from the hospital and I was supposed to not stress. I had no idea when the next time I was going to cry would be. I couldn’t wait for that. I would be the pussy of the school. I took the granola bar and ran out the door and down the block to wait for the bus. The three kids that waited at the bus stop with me were already there, of course.145

“Dude, look who it is. It’s the Geek!” their leader, Charles, teased, thinking it made him sound cool, “Where have you been?”146

“The hospital, thanks for caring.” I said back. My tolerance cap was not on.147

“Awww. I’m so sorry,” he said sarcastically, “What happened?”148

“Should I tell you, or will you really care?”149

“Shit man, I was just wondering.”150

“It was a fire. I don’t wanna talk about it.”151

“Shit man, a fire? That sucks.”152

“Yeah, tell me about it. Two of my friends died.”153

“You have friends?” the fat one cut in. The third of them gave him a high-five.154

“Bite me.” I said and threw my arms out.155

“Bite me. Aw, don’t be a pussy man.” the third one added his two cents. It had started. This was only the beginning. I folded my arms and rolled my eyes. The bus had better come soon.156

“So… Did you kill them?” the first one started again.157

“WHAT! Did I kill my only two friends in the world? N…”158

“It’s a possibility right? I think you did. You had some grudge didn’t you?” He pushed me.159

“I didn’t do SH…” I tried to recover from stumbling.160

“Haha… All right man. Whatever you say.” At this point, he was just picking on me and I knew it, but I was too childish to not show that I was upset. I was in for a long day.161

“What’s with that pussy glove?” I heard as I walked to the other corner of the intersection at the end of my street as the other three stood and laughed at me. I had always hated those guys. I sat on the corner sulking until the bus came, and when it did I ran back to the stop to get on. I went all the way to the back, and the three other guys sat up front with their buddies.162

I had started to get teary eyed. I couldn’t cry, I decided. I was so wrapped up in not appearing weak to the rest of the kids that it made me even more vulnerable. I knew that the next big insult would make me snap. I wasn’t prepared for it.163

The bus had made all of its stops and was almost at the school. I heard the Charles talking about my glove. I looked down at my hand. If he had such a problem with my hand, I would use it against him. My fist clenched.164

He got off the bus much earlier than I did because he was at the front of the bus, but I was determined. I ran past a few people to get to him as soon as I could. He was half way up the stairs to the front door of the school building when I jumped in front of him.165

“What the shit do you want Mr. White Glove?” he taunted.166

“I think you should know shit wad,” I paused and looked at my hand, “I’ve never punched anyone before. I hope that you enjoy this as much as I’m going to.” 167

I wound up my arm and let it fly right under his left eye. He stumbled backward and fell down the stairs. 12 of them to be exact. I spit after him. The fat kid and the other one from his posse stood and looked in awe, wide eyed, jaws on the floor. Everyone else around me turned and looked. Whispers of wonder flew around the front courtyard. My brow furrowed, I just stormed up the stairs to my first class. My emotions had no restriction.168

Nobody came tried to try and stop me, there were no teachers out front, and the cross guard had no power to do anything. Charles just lay there until someone finally told. I was half way through my first class when someone came to get me. The principal, Mr. Sutherland, was standing at the door with Charles, bruised and bloody from his tumble down the stairs, and a black eye from my fist.169

“That one!” he said, pointing in at me, barley able to lift his arm.170

“Young man,” started Mr. Sutherland, “follow me. Now.”171

I had no choice in the matter. If I didn’t get punished then, I would get punished later. I packed up my books and followed them to the office. The squeak of my shoes on the tile floors and my clenched hands cracking were the only things heard through the tense silence. Charles was limping and the principal was walking next to him in his upright pompous fashion. I hated them both. We made it to the office. The principal sat behind his desk, and the other two of us sat in the crappy chairs that he keeps in his office for visitors.172

“Young man, what is your name?”173

“My name? You have a devastated kid in here, and the first thing you’re concerned with is my name? Why does it matter to you?” I started.174

“Well I…”175

“You run a school of 4,000 kids. You wouldn’t know the name of a single one of us if stuff like this didn’t happen. Except for your little kiss asses on student government.” My fist came down on the table, “I don’t see why my name should concern you.”176

“You calm down this instant, or I will have you suspended from school!”177

“Oh yeah? Suspended huh? Real scary! Well I don’t see how that would be such a bad punishment. Maybe it will make your school of 4,000 a safer place right? It’s not like I learn anything here anyways and once I’m out of high school it won’t even matter. Okay, I won’t come in tomorrow, or ever again for that matter, but let me tell you something Mr. Sutherland, it’s not people like me that make this place a living hell, it’s people like your little Charles here.” I pointed at him, “These are the kids that beat up other people EVERY DAY, and you people don’t do anything about it. Does that seem right to you? The one time that someone’s actually bleeding and broken is the one time that it’s one of the innocent that gets caught. That gives me a LOT of faith in the system.”178

Mr. Sutherland sat in awe looking at me. I was in awe of myself. I didn’t expect such an outburst to come from my introverted qualities. I sat and stared back at him and Charles looked back and forward between us. Neither of them wanted to speak because both of them knew that what I said couldn’t be refuted.179

“Get out of my office! You are suspended from school next week!” Mr. Sutherland finally said. And I did. I got out of his office, and I left school that day as quickly as I possibly could.180

Chapter 6181

My mom didn’t know that I had been suspended from school. I had walked the 3 miles back home like I always did except 3 hours early. My mom always had wanted me to stay fit and green. I never let her know that I had been suspended. I pretended to go to school every day so that she didn’t worry like she always did when anything of remote magnitude happened. I went to the park, and to the movies, and to every place that wasn’t school. My suspension didn’t really matter, because I made 100% on every quiz, test, and essay that I turned in. Everywhere I went, I concealed my hand from everyone around me. I was tired and depressed, but every time I went somewhere other than school I was relaxed. I wanted to leave completely and stay away from the rest of the world.182

But when the Thursday of my detention came around, I went to visit Michelle. She had returned home, and was recovering fine from what I’d heard. I thought that, perhaps, if I saw her, it would clear my head of this obvious emotional problem that I was faced with. My reactions had no check, and she was the only person that took away all my fears and my cares.183

I knocked on her door. Her father opened it and gave me a look of disgust. He was in a white muscle shirt, sweating and panting. He stepped outside to speak.184

“Hello, son.” He started the conversation off badly.185

“Hello Mr. Felton, how are you?” I tried to be polite.186

“I’m fine son, fine. Why are you here?” He cut to the chase.187

“Is Michelle home? I figured that she would be here recovering, and I--” still wasn’t able to finish any thoughts around him.188

“Yes she’s home. She’s inside trying to pack.”189

“Packing? Where is she going?” I asked with sincerity.190

“The question is ‘where are we going’, and the answer is…”191

“OH MY GOD!” I heard Michelle shout in the background. “I thought I wouldn’t ever see you again!” she ran outside past her father to give me a hug. Just as I recalled, her embrace calmed me completely. I hugged her back with passion. I didn’t even care that her father was standing right there. Her eyes were glazed with tears, but she wasn’t crying yet. Of course, her dad had to ruin it for me. “I’ve missed you the past week… So much. You said you’d come back!”192

“I know I did, but the nurse--”193

“Son, if you would please listen for a moment.” I let go of her. I was listening, though without intent.194

“We’re leaving. For good. We’ve had it with this neighborhood.”195

“So you’re moving out of the city?”196

“No, we’re moving out of the state.”197

I felt my heart pierce in the middle. My blood stopped running for a moment and my nerves shut down. I stood frozen for what seemed like forever. Finally I broke my trance and looked over at Michelle. She was crying now.198

“I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t go to school. I was helping pack.” She said in hysterics, trying to explain.199

My knees buckled and I fell to the ground too shocked to cry. Her father simply said ‘We’re leaving on Sunday,’ and walked inside. She came to the ground to console me.200

“Please understand,” she said in tears, “I had no say in the decision. If it were up to me, I’d stay here forever.” She hugged me and I sat still, gaping into the air.201

Were Michelle not there, I would have tried to kill him. Her looks, her embrace, her tears were what made me think twice. All I could think, over and over, was ‘Anna, Pat, now Michelle, Anna, Pat, now Michelle,’ All of them have left me. Good things were not made to last. A week and 4 days after we decide to go steady, and as quickly as it had begun, it was over. I honestly thought that there was nothing else that I could lose, and then I lost the world. For a while I ignored her and sulked, brewing in my own mind, then I turned to her and kissed her passionately. It was the kiss that separated us.202

“Please,” She was sobbing, “Please, don’t. You’ll only make it harder. The more you love me, the harder it will be.”203

Chapter 7204

I had returned home and passed the rest of my time sitting in my room. Friday passed slowly and so did Saturday. I didn’t sleep a wink that Saturday night, and when Sunday came, I had no idea what to do. I lay in bed swooping my head from side to side trying to figure out what the best thing to do was. How would I say goodbye? Why did I have to say goodbye? She had said that I would only make things harder the more I loved her. The more I cared about her, the less apt she was to be happy. Should I stay home and not say goodbye? Should I run to her and kiss her till she agrees to stay against her parents’ will? I didn’t think that would go over very well since we were only fifteen. All I wanted was her. She was the antidote to my tension. I had to say goodbye in one way or another. I sat and I wrote and erased all morning until my hand got tense. The final product read something like this:205

Dear Michelle,206

This is the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life, saying goodbye to you. This even beats saying goodbye to Pat and Anna. Their death seems to be a precursor to this. The amplification of this situation in my mind has made my heart explode. I have had the worst two weeks of my life, and I need you to know that each time I see you, all that goes away. I need you to know that my heart hurts to know that I won’t be seeing you anymore. I need you to know that you have been the best friend to me in the world, and are now my only friend, but you’re now leaving me. You have touched my life in a way that only one person can. That one person is the person that I am in love with. I need you to know that I love you. No matter what happens.207

Sincerely,208

Your best friend209

Looking back on it, the letter seems very poorly written and immature, but I meant every word of it with all of my heart, and I stuck to it. I took the letter to her house and left it on her front porch in hopes that her father wouldn’t just pick it up and throw it away before she saw it. Then I thought twice and put it in the passenger door of the U-Haul truck in their front lawn. I figured that as long as it wasn’t her dad that saw the letter, I would be fine. Her mother seemed reasonable enough, and her brother may have been an imbecile, but at least he was kind. I ran back home and didn’t turn around. My tears were finally catching up to me, and I broke down on my bed as soon as I got back. I cried myself to sleep.210

Chapter 8211

Monday morning came as sudden as a strike of lightening, and it hit me with as much force. I decided to take off my glove. I didn’t care who saw it any more. There was nothing left to do for me, and I kind of just glided through the day. It was very uninteresting because I had a week of detention during the first 30 minutes of my lunch period (as if the week of suspension wasn’t bad enough). On Monday, I sat at one of the desks with the cardboard box put up so that I was unable to see the people next to me. The rest of the kids in detention sat the same because the public school system believes that if you treat people like animals they will certainly respond with obedience. Monday passed, then Tuesday… The kid that sat next to me each day, Josh, was in there for beating up a kid too. Just the same kind of person as the jackass Charles was, but a little more common sense. I don’t care who you are; common sense is something that I respect in a person.212

When both Josh and I had had enough and got incredibly bored, we started to whisper, under the proctor’s radar. It was made up of very simple exchanges like, “Dude, this is boring as shit,” or, “Man, I’m starved. Lunch better be fuckin’ good today.” This happened mid-Tuesday detention, and we kept it up through the week, and then we began to sit at lunch together. He really was an interesting person; he was a year older than I, held back in eighth grade, short, black, curly hair, black skin, and one hell of a life. He told me that his dad had been a big time thief. He stole from the people that stole stuff, and he had passed on his legacy to his son. They were both damn good at it, as Josh said, but his father must not have been incredibly intelligent because he was put in jail for a 10-year sentence. His mom was a work-from-home mom who didn’t do much for the family except sell her hand made body suits, which were shabby at best, to local dance companies. She had always wanted to be a ballerina, but never had the drive. His older sister was following in their father’s footsteps as well, and was a junior in college, though they didn’t know if she would last much longer. There were some things that I knew must have been completely fabricated like him meeting the Italian mob head in Boston. I believed that his father was big time, but not top-rate. 213

After having spent a few days with Josh, I could tell that I could learn a lot from him. His outlook on life was unlike any other I had ever encountered, and I had a great deal of respect for him. Very soon, his friends became my friends, and moaning over Pat, Anna, and Michelle, though their image was still fresh in my mind, started taking second priority to learning from these new people.214

“Man, you are one weird cat you know? You got some weird ass clothes man, you catch me?” We were sitting at lunch on Wednesday.215

“Yeah, I get that a lot.” I said back to him in my homely little voice.216

“Dude, we gotta pimp you out mo fucka. You need some new uh-tie-yuh if you know wh’I’m sayin’. And maybe fix that pip sqeek voice o’ yo’s.”217

“Man, I don’t know how to do that. I’ve always talked this way, and I’m gonna stick to it.”218

“Nah man, no good, no good. You got’s ta hang wif me an’ my crew ta’night so we can fix yo habits. Whatch y’all up to later?”219

“Shit man, I don’t have anything to do.”220

“Well, if you ain’t got shit to do bra, pop on over to my place man. We got some crazy shit goin’ down ta’night.” He had half a burger hanging out of his mouth.221

“Dude, I don’t know. My mom would probably flip… multiple times.”222

“Letter flip mo fucka!” he said, his mouth completely full, “Dis shit gon be off it, bra. You don’t come, you got’s summin in yo head man, know wh’I’m sayin’?”223

“No man, I don’t know what you’re sayin’.”224

“‘Sal right bruthah, just drop yo ass by this address later, ya know?” he took out a crumpled piece of notebook paper and wrote down his address on it. Luckily, his handwriting was more easily understood than his talking. Needless to say, I gave into his offer, and went by his house later that night.225

Chapter 9226

I went to his house after I had gone home after school and showered. I told my mom I was going to the movies and that I needed to give my mind a break. It was around seven o’clock when I rang the doorbell, and the street lamps were shining a dim light on the middle class suburban street. There had obviously been something going on because there was a ruckus coming from inside the house. One kid a little bit older than I answered the door. I walked until I saw Josh sitting on a sofa talking to another kid. I went up to talk to him.227

“Man, don’t fuck with me!” was the first thing I heard from his mouth. Luckily, it was not aimed at me.228

“Dude, I told you, I gave Jorge the stuff, and he didn’t deliver. Don’t blame me for that bra.”229

“Man, you know gawdamn well that I don’t give a damn ‘bout dat shit. I bout it from you, you fuckin’ deliver, understan’ me?”230

“Whatchyou gon’ do about it now bitch?”231

“Don’t call me bitch, bitch!” and with that, a punch flew.232

Josh laid into him like no other, and all the attention gathered to the center of the room where the two were fighting. There were shouts and yells “Fight, fight, fight!” and, “Knock him out!” Nobody wanted to step in. They broke a glass table, two lamps, and busted into a wall before anyone else tried anything. Someone went to go help Josh, and in response, the challenger pulled out a switchblade, which made the other guy, back off. I don’t know what came over me. It was all in an instant that I finally decided to make a move. I was very reluctant at first, and my hands were shaking. I waited until he was facing away from me, and I walked up behind him and punched him in the back of the head with my right hand. There was a loud pop that sounded like an outlet short-circuiting, and a spark. With that, the challenger fell to the ground.233

The room fell silent. I saw smoke rising from my hand, which for some reason I didn’t find odd. I had gotten used to weird things happening with me. Evidently someone else saw it too, because they yelled “Shit! Fire man!” and then people started to run and cleared the house. Josh, however, did not. He stood looking at me, bloody as he was from breaking through that table. I stood looking over the still body on the ground of the challenger, and finally Josh piped up:234

“Dude. Woah.” Was all he said at first. A few seconds passed. The seconds seemed like minutes, and all three of us were frozen in the same positions.235

“I don’t even know dude.” I said in anticipation of the pending question.236

“Man, fuck. What was that?” the question was asked anyways.237

“I don’t know.” I stood and looked at my hand. That was it. Some sort of jolt or something was emitted from my hand. I knew I felt different but I didn’t know how. Finally something came out, and I could tell. There was a constant surge pulsating through my body, like my heart was pumping electricity instead of blood. My body was so tired after that one jolt that I collapsed on the floor. I wasn’t passed out, just sitting.238

Josh came over to me and looked at my hand smiling, “Dude. It’s that fuckin’ hand ain’t it? Shit bra, I knew there was sumthin’ up wid that hand! That was tight as shit!” he popped back to reality, “Shit, but we can’t really celebrate yet. We gotta get this dude outa here before any cops or shit show up.”239

Luckily, the challenger was just knocked out. I would not have known what to do with myself at the time if I had killed someone. My thoughts wandered again, flying past anything normal into whatever was overtaking my body. What was going on with me? Josh continued spurting random blabs of amazement. It was inaudible in my mind. What was this power? I could knock someone out with hardly the throw of my right hand. What would happen if I actually tried? Could I harness this and use it to my advantage? What the hell was I supposed to do? It felt so good, but I still didn’t understand. I started crying, overwhelmed and tired.240

“Man, don’t pull dat shit on me bra. Let’s get this mo fucka outa here.” He demanded, embarrassed by my tears.241

“Shit man. I don’t know what came over me. I’m… just gonna go home.” I made for the door.242

“And leave me here wid dis shit? Dude…” And before he could finish, I was out the door on the street home. My pace quickened at the same rate as my pulse, and I could feel the electricity tingling in my right hand now. Josh was yelling something down the street at me, but I chose to ignore him. Could the chips from the cell phone have melded to my hand? Could this have been destiny, and the melted plastic on my hand was just coincidence? The unanswered and unanswerable were lurking ever present in my brain. Why me, why now, why was it so confusing? My overwhelmed tears turned into haphazard chuckles, and then into a booming laughter. I loved it! It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. This would be my vice, my reason to live. I can bend this to my advantage. If I can knock someone out with the twitch of my hand, I can do wonders, work miracles, if I harness and focus my power. Maybe I’d even see her again. My hysterics broke back into desperate crying, and I trudged back home. It was Thursday morning.243

Chapter 10244

Thursdays. I finally got home around 3 a.m., and I passed out on my bed. I couldn’t take my exhaustion any more. I needed to rest it out. I had a feeling, though, that everything would start to look up now that I was beginning to figure myself out. My resolution was that I would get Josh to help me, seeing as how he was the only one really privy to my… problem. My mom woke me up at around seven o’clock.245

“Honey, you’ll be late again if you let that lazy head rest much longer!” Her sweet voice was almost too sweet.246

“What?” I asked, though I had known what she said, “Oh. Okay! I’ll be up in a minute.” It was hard to believe that she was really oblivious to the fact that I hadn’t gone to the movies that night. I walked into the kitchen where she and Marcus were waiting.247

“You got home late last night.” She read my mind, “Where were you?”248

“Oh,” I was a little startled, “I went over to a friend’s house after the movie. I was just going to crash there, but I wanted to sleep in my own bed, so I walked back home.”249

“Wait. So you went over to a friend’s house without telling me, you were going to sleep over without telling me, and you walked home in the middle of the night alone without telling me? Is that right?”250

“Sorry Mom, I didn’t realize you would be so angry about it.” I lied251

“You didn’t realize! Young man, you and I are having a talk when you get back from school today! Go shower, you smell like something burnt!” Crap. I still had that odor on me, “I will be waiting when you get home today. You’re lucky I’m in a hurry to get out of here, or we’d be having quite the sit down young man. I’ll see you after school.”252

Marcus shot me a glare that said, “Way to go” as they left for school and work. I picked up a granola bar and walked to the bus stop. Charles and his gang didn’t bother me for the two weeks that I was either suspended or in detention, and today he finally spoke up.253

“Yo,” He said as I approached the stop, “It’s been a while.” His voice was timid and came out in chops.254

“So it has.” I said as though I’d had no idea how long it had been.255

“Dude, I don’t want no more shit to go down between you and me, so,” he was more of a pussy than I’d thought. He froze mid sentence.256

“So…” I urged, gesturing for him to continue.257

“So I say we call a truce. You me and the guys. No more fighting, no more bull.” He rushed through it as though it was hard to say. He then extended his hand to be shaken.258

“A truce?” His eyes grew as I contemplated, “Alright.” I digressed, “I accept.” My hand met his and there was a small buzz that sounded like a shock. I didn’t feel it.259

“Ouch,” he said quietly.260

“Sorry,” I said, nonchalant, “Lots of carpet in my house.”261

The bus came and we all boarded. We all sat in our usual spots: them up front, me in back. I figured it was too soon to start sitting in front. I liked this though. I liked it a lot. I was getting some respect now. I was even feared. People recognized me, people looked at me in awe. People respected me. The school day went smoothly, and I ended up talking to people that I had never even seen before. Everyone would say things like, “What’s up with your hand?” “How do you feel since your friends are gone?” “What made you finally get at Charles?” “I like your glove!”262

I was enjoying this. I didn’t answer most of them. First of all, I didn’t have a glove at all, my hand was still this shining plastic disaster, second, Pat and Anna were still as sore subject, and finally, I was trying to convince myself that Michelle hadn’t left. I still had one friend though: Josh. My detention was over so I wouldn’t see him there, but I expected my spot to be saved at lunch. After my first three classes, it was lunchtime. After I got my food I went over to the little table where Josh and his posse sat, and pulled my chair up. His posse eyed me and then ignored me the rest of lunch. I guess that Josh had told them about me bailing that night.263

“Dude, what the fuck?” was the first thing that came from his mouth. It was directed at me.264

“Dude, what’s your problem?” I asked, offended.265

“Man, you left me hangin’ las’ night bra! What’s my problem man? What’s your problem?”266

“Dude, look, I’m sorry! I went home and I had to do some thinking. That was the first time I’d ever done anything like that! It came as a bit of a surprise.”267

“You knocked a mo fucka twice yo size out two weeks ago, an’ dis shit is the first time you ever done somethin’ like that?” He gestured toward Charles. I had forgotten about that incident.268

“Well yeah… But this was different Josh! This was… It was…” I struggled to find the right word, “Indulgent! Amazing! It made me feel so powerful! I loved it, and I need it to happen again!” I hesitated, “But first I need your help.”269

“Fine brutha, but you betta clean up after yo self next time, cus I ain’t doin’ it for yo ass no more.” He motioned for me to sit. I accepted.270

“Haha. Alright. That’s the least of my worries right now.” I shifted thoughts, “Dude, I want you to help me out.” His eyes widened with curiosity, “I need to figure this shit out man.”271

“Well no shit homes.” He was at least joking a little bit now.272

“After school today, do you think you could come over?”273

“Sure bra. No problem. What is dis shit anyways?”274

“I’m not sure yet.” I admitted, “It’s really weird. I punched that kid last night, and there was a loud pop. Like a spark left my hand or something. Like I electrocuted him.” Josh gawked and then started chuckling, “Completely by accident. And then this morning at the bus stop I--”275

“Dude, you sound like yo ass is on crack.”276

“No, man, you gotta listen to me. I think that there’s something to this. I think there’s something much, much more. I want you to help me find it.”277

Josh looked at me reluctant, but then gave in, “Dude, as long as you ain’t gonna blow one to the back o’ my head, sure, I’ll help you out. But look at me, if anything gets outa hand, my ass is out!”278

“Ok, ok, but you gotta give me a couple chances man. I’m just figuring this shit out.”279

“Aight bra. If that’s it then?”280

“Yeah that’s it.”281

“Good, cus if I’m late one more time, I get my ass stuck back in the D-Hall.” I gave him a puzzled look, “Detention bra, detention.”282

“Oh. Ok, well… Meet me at my place around three. My mom gets home at five, so we should be ok for a couple of hours.”283

With that, the bell rang, and Josh was out the door to English. I made my way to History slowly, smiling, content that soon all of my questions would be answered.284