Star Pictures

Laying on my back, I stared up at the night sky, the stars twinkling in the dark. I was in the country, with my grandparents, on vacation. I never really liked the country, because I was a city girl. But, there was always the stars that I got to see. They were always brighter and prettier than the neon city signs and blinking lights.1

"Sophie!" I heard my grandmother call my name, "Sophie it's time for dinner!" I got up, dusting off my faded blue jeans, and ran back toward the house.2

At dinner, i kept thinking about how I had to go home on Monday..it was Saturday now. I didn't want to leave the stars yet. I wanted to stare at them forever. Then, a thought came to me. It'd take awhile, but I think it'll work. After dinner, I ran to my room, pulling out a sketch book and various colored pencils. I pulled my window open, letting the star light flood through my window like water. 3

Sitting on my bed, I started to sketch, looking up at the sky every once in a while. The pencils moved quickly over the sketch pad, shading the small figures i'd drawn. When I was done, I sat back and looked at my picture...but it wan't right, it didn't capture the stars like i'd hoped. Pencils wouldn't cut it, I had to try something else.4

"Sophie! It's late, go to bed." My grandma didn't like it when I stayed up, so I turned off the lights and went to bed, leaving the window open.5

______________________________________________________________6

It was the last night of my vacation here on the farm, and I'd do anything to capture those stars and hang them in my room. I tried oil pastels, but they gave my picture a blotchy look, not a vibrant one. I tried paining, letting my brush and the hand that held it glide smoothly across the page. It would've been a better idea that the oil paints or the pencils except for one thing. I was terrible at painting, and it only made the picture dull and watery. I sighed, taking down the easle that i'd used for the painting, and left to go to bed.7

______________________________________________________________8

Driving back home in my mom's car, I held a small wrapped gift in my arms. It was a last minute present from my grandparents, and they'd told me to wait until night to open it.9

When we got home, it was late. I went to my room and opened the box. inside were two packs of glow-in-the-dark stars, the kind you stick on the walls. Smiling to myself, I stuck them all over my ceiling, leaving all the lights on in my room for an hour until I finally had to go to bed. As I turned the light switch, my room turned into space, the satrs all glimmering brightly. It wasn't as great as real stars but I was very thankful of my grandparents.

Author notes

This was a contest entry, and as I wrote it, I thought it turned out pretty good for a 20 minute write.


I used option 3- an art prompt, and i've never had moon cakes, but i'd like to have one.

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • Kagamine Rin
    July 8
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    >=O

    You always say that... And it's NOT! XD


  • Kagamine Rin
    July 8

    Edit | Reply
    Aw. So cute.

    STARZ PWN.

    But I did enjoy reading that... To an extent. No, just kidding... It was good.


  • Lover of Stories
    October 16, 2008
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    Thanks for entering! ^^

  • detty
    October 4, 2008
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    Haha aww, I thought this was really sweet! Especially the ending I love stars myself! I like how you decided to show that the character was trying to paint the stars him/herself and failed, but in the end she got them from her grandparents! Some typos here and there but it didn't distract too much from the story, so well done! I rather liked it


  • Much-Dipstick
    October 4, 2008

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    You're right, for twenty minutes, this is excellent. I found a few typos, which I listed below for you:
    'but it wan't' - 'but it wasn't'
    'Pencils wouldn't cut it, I had' - 'Pencils wouldn't cut it; I had'
    'I tried paining' 'I tried painting'
    'the satrs all' the stars all'

    I liked how they tried so hard, using a lot of different materials, though, like tallblondie, I expected her to write about them, or something. Anyway, a superb story, with some very excellent descriptions and nice sentence structures. I thought it was sweet how she was so happy with her stars, and how she wanted to take them home. It was a really nice story, so best luck in the contests!


  • tallblondie gold member
    October 3, 2008
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    I must admit - I sort of expected the character to finally turn to capturing the beauty of the stars by writing about them - instead of being gifted with a set of glow-in-the-dark stars. This is, however, a nice piece - it epitomises how much we humans see and appreciate nature and the cosmos, but often fail at trying to capture that beauty ourselves.


  • Toxic Paradox
    October 3, 2008

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    "But, there was always the stars that I got to see." - that should be 'were'.

    There were a few other little technicalities, but nothing you can't fix. I don't think any of the mistakes were integral.

    To the imagery then: I didn't really get the intense visual experience I'd hoped for here. I understood that the character wanted to capture the stars, but I didn't see hoe beautiful, magnificent, affecting or emotional the stars were.

    Also, I need to know who else's story you commented on as part of the rules. If you could let me knoe as soon as possible I'd appreciate it. Thank you, and thank you for entering my contest.

  • Lover of Stories
    September 9, 2008
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    Here's your art prompt (you get 4 pictures to choose from.)

    http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/81/blackrosefo0.gif

    http://img186.imageshack.us/img186/2876/birdiegetsrevengeqe5.jpg

    http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/5567/vivianfq9.jpg

    http://sl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/669/669332wq98chfu8j.gif

    Let me know if you want a different picture.

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