Fate, and the Fall (Poetry)

Fate

Fate, and the Fall
1

She was his,
 He had nothing to loose.
 Fate decided to play a fall;
 A  plot- where he could not choose.
And then she came,
 To fill the void in his life.
 Life a whiff of fresh air,
 Putting an end to his inner strife!
She was angelic,
 Far too ethereal to be his mate.
 Fate, but grimly smiled;
 The fish had taken the bait.
Happy times, or so they seemed;
 Her essence had him floored.
 Little was he to know,
 Fate would soon have him gored!
She was his anodyne,
 In his sickness and pain.
 She was his amulet,
 That brought him only gain.
Hasty, his desires grew;
 As he willed to own her.
 Taking someone for granted-
 Something that would haunt him forever.
And when she left,
 Shattered- he remained.
 Reality dawned on him,
 He had lost what he had gained.
She was his;
 For, that's what he had thought.
 Fate had played its fall;
 A plot- which he had miserably lost!

--Kartz

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • xXSongxxofxxLifeXx
    October 7, 2008

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    Very powerful. Love often feels like a trick of fate, the constant wondering of what is to come and what will happen once it does. Beautiful.


  • Just Breathe.
    September 25, 2008

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    The rhyming is nice and the poem is great! But if your were trying to say lose, then it should be spelled lose not loose. Good luck!

    • Kartz
      September 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Indeed... It was a typo, I assure you. I did not make that error while publishing it on my blog.

      Glad you liked it. Peace.


  • tonialoise
    September 25, 2008

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    This is quite an interesting piece. Fate certainly is a twisted character. Your rhyming is nice and fits with the way you're telling the story. It reminded me a lot of old greek tales. Nice work!

    • Kartz
      September 25, 2008
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      Thank you so much!

      Glad it is to your liking..! Peace, and have a nice day!


  • Reaver Greeters member
    September 24, 2008

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    Kartz,

    This was just what i asked for Great job...i felt the strenght of it from the very beginning. You have a power over words, that much is evident! Great work! Keep writing..you're very talented! ..and..you're a finalist

    • Kartz
      September 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Dyiti. I am touched by your kind words, and hopefully I will keep getting better.

      And thanks for the competition. It gave me a platform to share my work. Peace, and have a nice day.


  • Bello.Midnight
    September 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    And when she left,
    Shattered- he remained.
    Reality dawned on him,
    He had lost what he had gained.

    I agree with mirth you showed a lot of strenth and courage in this poem and it is something to be admired.

    good luck
    Blake ♣

    • Kartz
      September 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. I am glad it was to your liking.

      Peace, and blessed be.


  • Prodigious.Mirth
    September 19, 2008

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    I admire the strenght in this poem , as well as the sadness and loss inside each of the words you have portrayed before us.
    Love the picture
    well done

    Good luck
    B~


  • Much-Dipstick
    September 13, 2008

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    Oooo, another superbly done one! My only critisism: 'nothing to loose' This is a very common mistake. Loose means something has come loose, like a thread, or a piece of rope. It ought to be 'nothing to lose'
    I liked this one loads! Although at times the rhymes might seem a little forced, overall I thought it was excellent and I loved the way fate played around with him, ect. such an easy thing to happen in real life. Great job on this one! Keep writing!

    • Kartz
      September 13, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Aaahhh... Thanks for spotting it! Actually, I did not make that mistake while publishing the same at my blog. Weird...

      Glad you liked it. Thanks for your feedback. Much appreciated!


  • Kirin
    September 12, 2008

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    I've already read and commented this, and I read it again and like it more. This is the one poem I understood most easily and is hence my favourite. Nice rhymes too. Keep writing!!

    • Kartz
      September 13, 2008
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      Heh heh heh... Thanks. Btw, my blog's updated again...


  • Sgs
    September 8, 2008

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    I like this...

    I love poetry like this - dark, passionate and a little bit mysterious. You manage to take the plot of a novel and condense it into a poem. Great stuff!

    • Kartz
      September 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Gee...

      Thanks alot... Glad it was to your liking. Let's say I am too lazy to continue with it as a novel! Hopefully, one day- I will come out with a book... Anyway, I prefer to live this moment.

      Thanks, again.

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