Razor Sharp Kiss - Chapter Eight

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Its never that hard to get over break up...even harder when you sit in your bed and make a list of the things you did wrong and then the things he did. You feel like your the breaker, not the breake.2

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I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed him back. I knew this was wrong, that I was really just allowing this because I needed it, that since of care. Guilt hit me like a speeding train and I pulled away. "I can't..I'm sorry."I said while catching my breath and skated over to the seats and pulled my skates off and slipped my shoes back on, and ran out of the roller barn. 4

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"Pandora! Wait!"I heard Drake call out behind me and shook my head, I felt so bad for what I was doing and I knew what I was doing. I was using him to forget my own problems. 6

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He grabbed my arm and gently turned me around, looking in my eyes for something...I knew he would be disappointed. He shook his head and looked down. "I'm sorry..I know we just met but..I feel like..Like...I don't know what the emote is...but...I want you happy..and I want you save, but I just met you...I'm..confused."He shook his head and let go of my arm. 8

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I would have replied...I really would have, if I hadn't been hurt before many times and heard that line, and if I wasn't totally still freaking out. I shook my head and tried to say something, anything that would help here, but I couldn't think of anything, but honestly I didn't know what I wanted.10

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"I'm sorry...I don't know.."I whispered and looked up at him, and saw him wince and look away. "Ok...if you ever change your mind...just let me know."He said quietly and turned around and walked away, getting in his car and driving off, I'm sure as fast as he thought ok. 12

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I blinked, realizing I was on the edge of sobbing and headed to the huge sign, shining brightly "Hotel" down the street, and got myself a cheap ass hotel room.14

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I shut the door behind me and laid down on my bed, letting the tears flow. I was so confused, hurt, lost, I didn't know what to do...I was scared. I was only sixteen and I felt twenty, and maybe mentally I was, but either way I didn't care. 16

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I closed my eyes, and pulled the covers over my head, and remembered back when I first moved to that little town in Kansas, and how I broke my hand, and when I cut my hand, and when my bike was broken and when I was attacked. 18

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I remembered Arabella, I remembered everything, and who was always there. My guardian, the one who I really loved, the one...I wanted. I wanted, the old Emmett back. 20

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I made a list of the things I ever did for him and then what he did for me. I only loved him..I didn't protect him, I didn't help him when he was hurt, I only loved him. That may be a big thing but...He had done so much more for me.22

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He helped me24

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He loved me26

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He protected me28

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He cared for me30

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And I had lost him...I lost it all. How could I have been so stupid?32

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Emmett's POV36

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Clenching at the stirring wheel, knowing I didn't know where she was, if she was okay, if she was with anybody, if she-Ugh, shes the one who left, shes the one who broke up with me and yet I can't get her out of my mind, I've been driving for the last 3 hours, trying to come up with a idea on how to tell her parents she went missing or something. 38

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But that didn't help, I didn't want her missing I wanted her with me, by my side, her long brown beautiful falling down the side of her face when she flushed, or her rare smile. Just her by me, her lips to mine.40

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A car horn honked loudly and I hit the breaks coming to a hard stop, as I almost hit the truck in front of me, and that the truck was stopped at a red light. Damn..I got to thinking about her to much, almost getting in a car crash at full speed, but of course if it was really bad I would live.42

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I ignored the many curses towards me from the driver, and turned my radio up loud, the song "Soulmate" playing, and switched it off as soon as I started to hear the lyrics. I didn't need it write now.44

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Once the light turned green and the cars started again and took off, passing the car I almost ran into and raced down the road, my insides and feeling were now honestly dead, and I knew...somehow I would find her.46