The wish

The wish
I had this dream once! I kinda added things on tho,!11

Once upon a dream, there was a girl Jenna, who, if you had to describe in two simple words would be mean, and smart. She always seemed to be in the center of everything, including her social life.22

After school one day, she was heading to the swing by the creek, her favorite study spot, for she had a big math test coming up.33

On her way there, she almost stepped on a caterpillar, who was slowly making its way across the sidewalk. 4
She decided to turn back and make sure she stepped on it, for no logical reason. 54

"Wait." said the caterpillar.65

"Don't do it!" the caterpillar pleaded.76

"Why not?" Jenna asked.87

"I will grant you any wish you would like!" begged the caterpillar.98

"Fair enough." Jenna decided.109

"I wish for my next one thousand wishes to come true." Jenna smiled at this, wondering how this could possibly go wrong.1110

The next day, before the first period bell rung, her first wish was to have her ears pieced, because her father had never let anything touch her. She lifted her hand to touch her ears and there were two golden earrings in her soft skin.1211

She soon realized, after a couple of appearance wishes that she could do something big, like cure the crippled, make world peace, or even get people back what they deserved!1312

Jenna was so caught up in her thoughts, she barely realized the bell.1413

John, her best and only friend talked to her from the desk behind her.1514

"I studied so hard for this math test but, I'm sure I'm still going to fail."1615

That stupid caterpillar made her forget about her math test!1716

"I wish i were dead!"

A contest entry

This is my first story so be nice! I had this dream last night but in a less interesting version

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • wolf-storm
    December 14, 2008

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    Oh thats an interesting dream. The ending is cute lol made me giggle a bit. You have good writting. Could use a few gramatical read throughs but over all excellent job. Thanks for entering.


  • islekine
    December 3, 2008

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    I like your version.....

    This is was great!
    Thanks for entering!
    This is a great write!
    It had me smiling...to the end!
    Write on!


  • K.Tangent
    November 16, 2008

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    Good moral story, written in a fairytale fashion. (The first two lines destroyed the atmosphere of this though. You should explain stuff like that in your author notes. It makes the story look more formal and cleaner. =] )

    While I have an idea of what your "saying" is for this contest, I was a little saddened that I didn't see it outright used anywhere. Or perhaps I was misinterpreting the story. Ah well. It was still a nice read.


  • MidniteRockers
    November 11, 2008

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    Wow. I don't know why but I was totally into this story. A great dream to have !!! Loved it.
    Lolly x
    P.S. Good luck


  • Fearless.
    October 31, 2008

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    That was really funny! I thought it was really good so good luck and keep writing! (Or dreaming, whatever. Lol!)

    ~Devil Angel~


  • vampyresshunting
    October 21, 2008
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    Oh woh that is so funny.


  • Nikki Rowles
    October 21, 2008

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    OMG....ok...well...that is twisted and funny...and totally kick ass...but it has nothing to do with my contest what so ever...I still like it but I'll have to DQ it I'm sorry
    Blessed Be
    Lauren

  • Minorchar
    October 18, 2008

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    hahaha... An excellent punchline. You have some grammatical and mechanical errors--paragraph 4 is confusing, and some of your quotes need punctuation in them--but these are just nitpicky little things. Aside from that, excellent story!


  • Neolittlefish
    October 15, 2008

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    it waas... different! And actually I liked it a lot, well done. It was short but concise and funny so, yeah good work and good luck


  • Inkling
    October 10, 2008
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    Well...That's weird. o.o And funny.

  • Meej
    September 28, 2008
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    This is really clever, its very short but kicks a good punch. There's also a really good moral in this story which you've conveyed well. I did notice a fair few spelling mistakes so would recommend you always spell check. also try your best to put capital letters at the beginning of sentences etc and use punctuation etc.

    Good work.


  • DeathNoteYaoi
    September 28, 2008
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    Lol ! cute funny story KILL the Caterpillar i need to pass my maths test ^^

    Thanks DNY


  • tonialoise
    September 7, 2008

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    Hey, who came in and stole all the capital letters?

    I thought you said she was smart? I like how she had to turn around to go back and step on the caterpillar just for the heck of it.


  • SprinkledCupcake
    September 7, 2008
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    hehe. funny


  • MarukoTheCrazyKitty
    September 6, 2008
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    Hahahaha!!! That is soooo weird! XD


  • Dassy
    September 5, 2008

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    ha tahts hilarious! that was a great dream even if u did add stuff on to it. Written very well.
    keep writing ~.~

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