[ 1 ] Not finished, do not read.

So I am waiting for my chance.1

Keyword:2

Waiting.3

See also:4

Bored, apprehensive, freaking the fuck out, about to rip out large tuffs of my hair and scratch my eyes with it until I go blind. 5

Maybe you would prefer "waiting."6

I have problems. I can say this, because the main one could be considered that I can't think about much else except my problems.7

Like gremlins standing in a line.8

Waiting. Like I am now. I hate waiting.9

My next problem I guess you could say, tends to be that I am rather pessemistic. Take this for example: when I first signed up, I kept thinking, awesome. This is going to be the best experience of my life; my savior from the banality I have recently found myself trapped in. I found it in one of those blinking advertisements that distract you from the things you would rather be doing. In my case, in a private chatroom with a rather luscious looking woman. Blinking. Incessantly. Blinking.10

WORLDS LARGEST GANG BANG MAY BE COMING TO YOUR CITY!11

Blinking.12

YOU COULD BE ONE OF THE LUCKY CHOSEN 600!13

YOU CAN BECOME A STAR OVERNIGHT!14

YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY WON!15

CLICK HERE TO COLLECT YOUR WINNINGS!16

CLICK HERE FOR YOUR FREE SPOT AT THE WORLDEST LARGEST GANG BANG!17

Incessant. Determined.18

offering me pieces of a dream I could not refuse.19

Now, like the story of my life, this experience is starting to sour. I don't know if this is because I am pessemistic or because I hate waiting, and that has made me pessemistic. All I know, is what started as a lovely bowl of tooty-fruities has become sad and soggy because it sat in the milk too long. 20

I wish I hadn't thought about that. See, because I am kind of a germiphobe. I am kind of hypochondriac. I get sick easily, just thinking about things. Smelling things. I need things to be clean, disinfected, un-expired. There are so many germs, viruses, sicknesses and bacteria in this world But I can't be sick, because then I would have to leave the line, which would put me at the end of the line, which I guess then might give me some freedom because I could leave the line because it's the end and everyone who was in the line is already in the line and therefore I could never end up beyond the last person in line, which might actually be better, if only that didn't mean that I would be waiting that much longer since I was the first person here, but somehow not the first person in line. 21

I really hate waiting.22

I hate it like most people hate child rapists.23

This is another of my problems, unless of course you want to consider it an extension of the first. Maybe you could call it a secret.24

I don't talk to many people you see. Which gives me many secrets.25

The way I define a secret, is a fact; a dirty fact that only you know, because now if you tell someone, then it's not a secret. I read books, but they don't tell me how to properly define secrets, so I define them myself. That's not to say that those secrets are problems neccesarily, because problems are harder to hide, which is why I have hide my problems so well, because no one knows you have problems if all your problems are secrets, and they are secrets because you are the only one who knows them. When you don't know many people, then really no one knows you.26

Which I think might be another problem, but for now it's a secret.27

You see. my secret is that I have problems. 28

Like this one:29

Which I will share with you because its neccesary for you to understand how I have found myself here, and how it is creating more problems.30

What happens when the internet porn doesn't do it for you anymore? You sit around yanking it until it's red and sore, but you can't climax. You spank your dolphin until you've broken it's flippers. Your chicken is dead lying there, and your still choking it screaming like a lunatic, you like that! You like that! Maybe you think if you choke it hard enough you can bring it back to life, but unfortunately your pipes aren't rusty, your pipes are corroded. 31

I am a masturbator. I say that like it's some sort of crime, but in my case, the severity with which I practiced this most timeless of pastimes, should be considered criminal. I can't stop.32

I've chafed it. I've rubbed it until I broke it open, the pleasure mixing with the pain, mixing with my obsessive incessant need to grind. I have a franken-cock now. That's what I call it, and when I write it in erotic chat rooms, women get turned on, because they think it's a phrase, but it's not. Stitched up, bandaged, all because seeing these words on your screen--33

Oh, Oh, Fuck me, fuck me, yeah.34

Lick my clit! Can you feel yourself licking my clit you old dirty bastard? Oh, you like that. You like that!35

Give it to me. Oh yes, YES YES YES!36

I need it so bad! I want your cum! I want it in my mouth. Dripping from my cunt! I can taste it on my tongue, I can feel in my ass. Fuck me baby, fuck me, fuck me!37

Oh God, Harder. Deeper! yes, Yes, YES!38

I'm cumming! Cumming! Oh God, harder! Oh God...39

YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!40

--aren't enough to get me off anymore.41

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