High School Reunion ~ Part One

High School Reunion 1

~8:30 PM~
Part One2

“It's about time,” Louise yelled, stepping onto the pavement in front of her apartment.3

She was running late, as usual, but had absolutely no idea how she was going to be able to make it on time unless she called her father.4

She had called at Seven- Thirty to arrange a life, though her father had said he would not be ready until Eight.5

Typical, she had thought to herself. Never on time for anything. He had even been late to his own wedding. Nothing had changed and it never would so long as he was still breathing the vile, air, of selfishness.6

It was her high school reunion. A day she had marked on the calender and had counted down to this very day. All of the graduates would be there, including herself and could not have over planned the evening even if she tried.7

“It's almost Eight- Thirty dad,” Louise complained as she slid into the passenger seat, buckling her seat-belt: before slamming the car door shut. Glaring at her father.8

“Well you can blame that on your mother and her meatloaf,” he groaned, starting the engine. “That darn thing is enough to land anyone in the bathroom for a week.”9

Ignoring her fathers excuses Louise clutched her handbag tightly to her chest. Despite his efforts (or lack of) she was going to enjoy her evening and was not going to let anything stand in her way. Even her mother meatloaf.10

“That's a load of shit dad, her meatloaf does anything but give any one indigestion and lets not bring mum into this. We both know I can never rely on you for anything; not even a lift to school.”11

Her father smirked, enjoying the discomfort he had been placed in. He loved it when Louise became snippy. It gave him more reason to stir, turning him on, more so than her mother could in the bedroom.12

“ Well this would never have happened if we had been living altogether now, would it?” he started, stopping at the flashing Red lights that glowed in the darkness of the night.13

“Just shut the fuck up and drive,” Louise cursed, biting her tongue: before she said something she would regret for the rest of the evening. She knew her father liked to pick fights, but this was her night. For once she wished he would bite his own tongue and keep the rude, unnecessary comments to himself: crude bastard.14

“So...” he said drawing his question on longer than needed. “Approximately how many of your “buddies” are turning up for this gig tonight?”15

Gig? Buddies? So he picks a time like now to started being fatherly? Louise laughed to herself, watching the shops pass her by. The small buildings looked like ants compared to her apartment. She remembered this part of town was smaller than hers and with good reason: it was vacant.16

“ I am assuming that there will be around Twenty to Forty guest attending the reunion,” she sniped. Her tongue still wedged between her teeth, her tone viciously, nasty.17

“Well that will sure be a good turn out,” he father said. His voice softer, genuine. An act that Louise could see right through. He wanted something or someone in return for the lift, yet at present she had no clue what to give or who he would be interested in.18

Pulling into the car park, her father parked his car on a patch of grass right underneath a tall, lanky, tree. 19

The leaves of Autumn tumbled through the air, landing on the bonnet. The colors barely see able in the dark, but none the less it was a distraction Louise could user to quicken her good-byes to her father.20

“You might need to get the car washed dad,” she muttered, stepping onto the gravel path. The stones sliding immediately between her open shoes, the dirt thick and heavy against the tips of her toes.21

Her father ignored his daughters demands, shutting the car door behind her. A sluggish expression steering her clear of any more words, except a good-bye.22

“So what time am I due to pick you up then?” he asked. His Brown-Gray hair flopping over his brow. Worse than any Elvis impersonator she had ever seen.23

“I am entirely capable of getting a ride home with one of my peers,” she replied, wrapping her hand bag strap around her wrist. “That is... if I plan on going home this evening, hell if anyone plans on going home this evening,” she added with an ounce of confidence in her voice.24

Louise's father smiled. It was not a smile of gratitude, nor was it one of understanding. No this was a smile Louise had never seen before. It was one that stunk of of something foul, yet one she could not, quite put her finger on.25

“Alright then, you have a nice...ah time,” he started, winding up the window: before Louise turned her back sharply, walking away.26

“Yes my darling, you have a nice time... I will be back to pick you up as soon as you drink your sorry ass dry.”

Author notes

I have Four parts of this written.

My spelling, grammar, punctuation is not perfect, but I do try to the best of my ability.

This story comes under my (adverb ) exercise; and I was interested to see how far I could take it.

Enjoy ~ Feedback welcome... any sort

Ha ha and I suck at third person !!!! weee

Blair x-x

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • enchantress
    October 29

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    So far so good. It would be interesting to see why father and daughter are fighting but I suppose you have already thought about that for the next chapter.


  • LadyLionnir
    October 19

    Edit | Reply
    I definitely see the potential-as always-and I'm curious to see where you take this...I think I'll read on and check it out. I love the ending, it makes me want to read more. Also, I have a bad feeling about her father...if that's what you were aiming for, really well done!


  • im.perfectly.flawed
    September 23

    Edit | Reply
    I think you did well with third person, it was informative without telling too much but enough to know theirs tension an something sleazy going on in the back of that vain mans mind.

    You have constructed this well with the ending and lead up, makes a good end for the next part, giving anticipation for the next chapter and what the father could mean by his dwindling words as she walked away.

    Great work babe.
    Ebz


  • Faker
    September 14

    Edit | Reply
    I don't think you suck at third person, I think you did really well. I agree with the other guy, you wrote it so that you wouldn't give so much away all at once. I'm glad I'm ony your friends list so I'll be notified when you update this.


  • GrimDeath
    September 11
    Edit | Reply
    I like it>


  • KixiusMaximusArsus
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! That was awesome, never would have seen that coming!!! I can't wait to see what happens next! Their were a few spelling mistakes, but it looks like some other people have already pointed them out to you. Other than that you did a really great job with this piece, I really enjoyed reading it.

    . Rewarded 6


  • Hermanator1 silver member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply

    Well done

    Only error I saw was in line 5 ( I think you meant Lift). Well laid out with setting the stage for the father to be hatching up something, without exposing too much of your plot.


  • So Strange Greeters member
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    This is a good start to the story, Blair. I think that--as usual--your grammar is pretty good, your story is amazingly well written and the idea is well put together. But as stories progress, as you'll learn--though you probably already have--they just tend to get better. The climax is always the more exciting thing out of a story. The beginning is important, but the climax is what is best.

    I'll, as usual, keep reading your stuff and I'll comment on most of them. I can't comment on all of them, unless it's the only thing I do all day. But if I could, I would.

    Keep up the great work, Blair. I enjoy your writing and you'll one day be a world famous writer.

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