The Secret She Holds

Every night, Liz lay on her bed curled in a ball with tears running down her face. They were beginning to leave carved paths. Her heart hurt and so did everything else. She was so confused with her life. Everything seemed to be going wrong in it, and she had no idea how to handle it. She wanted no one else to know what had happened. So, she had moved from her hometown in the state of Wisconsin to a city in the state of Tennessee. She was 19 years old and bought her own apartment to live in for a while. Everyone just saw her as a new person in the neighborhood.1

Liz worked during the day from 7:00am to 2:30pm. She worked at the hospital as a receptionist and usually enjoyed talking to the children in the Pediatrics ward on her breaks. It took away her own pain and helped her learn that others had a harder life than hers. Her talent was music and so almost everyday, she brought in an instrument that the kids would request her to and played. Everyone loved her. But she still was only happy when she was working. She did well with hiding her tears and unhappiness. She had to. No one else knew what happened. She couldn't talk about it, for that would mean worse pain and eventually letting go. She couldn't deal with that. She could hardly live normally without it still in her mind. 2

As the days went by, Liz worked hard. Everyday that she played, a small child, named Savannah, would slowly toddle up to her, say thank you and ask for a hug. As she picked her up to cuddle her in her arms, a lump would form in her throat. So she quickly gave the child a kiss on the cheek and set her down. She knew Savannah's own secret. She had no parents to take care of her, and she was in the hospital because, before they had died, they had always been drunk and beat her on a regular basis. When Liz set this precious little girl down, a tear would roll down her cheek and she would softly rush to a secluded area. She so badly wanted this girl to have a home of her own that was warm and full of love. Why did someone not yet five years old have to go through something this horrible? Life was never fair.3

Eventually, Liz decided that it was time to go to a court and look into adoption. Even though she was only 19, she knew that this darling four-year-old had to be somewhere safe where she would be happy. Savannah was just so happy when Liz played and was almost finished healing. Liz fought for her right to adopt her. Finally, the judge decided that Liz would not give up and that she was fit to take this child as her own. There was just one thing Liz had to do, and that was tell Savannah that she was going to come and live with her, for she had no idea this was going on. Liz was filled with joy and happiness. 4

The day that Savannah was released from the hospital was a joy filled one. Her little smiled curled up and her strawberry-blond hair spiraled in tiny curls around her face. Her blue eyes sparkled with relief of finally being healthy again. She turned to Liz and asked "I'm all better! But I don't want to go home again. I want to live with you because you make me feel good inside."5

Liz's face lit up as she told the little girl that that's exactly what would happen. "You are going to stay with me. I have asked someone to let me keep you forever and ever and they said it was all right," she smiled down at her.6

"Good, I think I will like it." Savannah was very smart for her age and loved to practice talking like a grown-up. That was one thing Liz loved to hear when Savannah spoke.7

That night, as Liz was tucking who was now her little girl into bed, Savannah whispered, "I love you, Mommy." Those four words just wrenched Liz's heart out. She could hardly believe that Savannah was already calling her Mommy. It brought tears to her eyes. "Why are you sad?" Savannah asked.
"It's not that I'm sad, it's just that I am so glad that you are my own to keep forever. I love you, too, my little bundle of joy."8

Although Liz now had this wonderful spirit living in her home, she still couldn't shake the feeling that she was still all alone. Moving hadn't exactly helped and this precious soul didn't help either. They were similar in so many ways. 9

That same year, Liz ended up finding the man of her dreams. They met one day at the hospital. He asked her out a couple days later. She immediately knew that she loved this man. And she knew that it was not good for her little girl to live with only one parent to raise her. The first date was amazing. Liz couldn't think of a better way to spend a night. Luke took her to a nice little chinese restaurant, where they had wanton soup, cheese wantons and shared a plate of chicken. Afterwards, he took her to a mini golf course and then out for ice cream. She enjoyed it so much, that she invited him to go to the amusement park with her and Savannah that weekend. He suprised her by saying that he would love to. 10

That Saturday, Luke picked up Liz and Savannah at 8:00 A.M. for the half hour drive to the park. It wouldn't open until 9:00 but they wanted to get some breakfast first. As it so happened, this was Savannah's fifth birthday. So, Luke took them to a breakfast buffet and Liz just stepped back most of the time to see how Savannah would like him. She took to him extremely well. He helped her get her food and later told the waitress that it was her birthday. They brought out balloons and gave her apple cobbler that she shared with Luke and Liz. 11

While they were at the amusement park, Luke let Savannah choose each ride that they went on so she wouldn't feel left out. Both Liz and Luke took each of Savannah's hands and swung her as they walked down the paved paths with bags and prizes in their free hands. It was the best birthday a little girl could have. 12

When they got home, they had Savannah's favorite dish, Ratatoullie. This dish had a lot of vegetables and a delicious sauce that was irresistable for the small girl. Liz had given it once to her and she almost always demanded it even though it was made almost entirely of vegetables. For dessert, they had ice cream cake with a whipped cream frosting. Savannah enjoyed herself very much, especially with the the candles. Liz had never seen a bigger smile.13

Eventually, the memories of what had happened to her almost two years ago, now, began to fade slowly. But Liz knew they would never completely disappear as she wished they would. She found much comfort in Luke's presence and always liked to go places with him. He took her out at least once a week and sent her flowers at work. On her favorite holiday, Easter, he gave her colored eggs. each of them had a note taped to it. One said, "You are my life, now." Another, "I wish I could hold you and never let go." The sayings continued on until he saved one that was just for her to open at a restaurant. The table had candles set on it, and rose pedals scattered lightly around their table. They were the only ones in the room. 14

Gently, Luke set the egg in his love's hand and said, "Now this is my favorite egg. Open it first, and then read the paper." His smile grew and grew and he held Liz's hand softly, but tightly. He never wanted to let go. 15

Inside the egg, was a beautiful ring with sapphires and diamonds on it. It was small, but she loved it more than he could know. The paper read, "I know bad things have happened and will happen in your life, but now that I'm here to help you through them, let me stay in your life forever." When Liz looked up, she found that tears were clouding her vision, and Luke was on one knee, her hand still in his. She could hardly believe what was happening and she almost had a heart attack from the joy and excitement that filled her whole body. The love that shimmered in Luke's eyes could not be compared to anything. And as Liz looked in those liquid brown eyes, she knew that he knew what had happened to her. For he had experienced the same thing long ago, and was willing to be there for her forever more. 16

Lightly, he slid the ring onto her third finger on her left hand, patted it, and pulled her to a standing position in front of him. "I have been waiting for what seems like eternity to do this for you. And I should never have let you go before. It was wrong of me, and I regret it ever so deeply. I had no right to force you to stay away from me, but I had to. I had to do that on my own. Now that you know this, will you forgive me? I have always loved you, and tonight I prove that with this ring that is yours forever."17

Liz could hardly believe her own ears. Was this really the same Luke that she had loved before she moved to Tennessee? He looked so different, but he still had those same loving eyes and that same personality that she had loved so much. She had never dreamed of meeting him again, but now, fate had caused them to come back together. He truly loved her, and now he wanted to marry her. She could see that in his face. This was what had traumatized her from the beginning. He had left her. She never knew the reason, but he had hurt her so much when he did that she never wanted to see him again. That was why she had moved away. Now she knew; they would be together always.18

"I love you, Luke. I always will and now that I realize this..." her answer of forgiveness was in a way that no one could resist. She tilted his head down to hers and softly touched her lips to his. The same thrill that she had always felt when she was with him shot down her spine and made her heart accelerate. There was no way they would part ever again. And Savannah would be so happy, for she dearly loved Luke. 19

"I hoped that would be your answer, my one and only love. I am so glad that it really is your answer. I shall never leave you again. No matter what the reason. I love you too much. Liz... hear me now. I will never put you through anything like that again. I love you." And she knew that he truly did.