Don't Go Back On Your Words.

This is JUST an excerpt from a piece of my writing.i want you to get a taste of it before i decide if i should put some more of it up.1


WARNING:HAS CURSE WORDS!2


to sum up what you don't know....
some cannibal freaks held austin,lexi,and amy hostage in a house.only lexi survived,thanks to chase.3

austin dated lexi.
amy dated Chase.
now that each persons' love is dead,they try to pull through everything together.4

5


*****************chase's pov********************************6

I stopped pacing when I heard Adam come down the stairs.7

"How is she? I didn't think that she'd be awake. Did i scare her
badly?"8

Adam gave me a look that told me to 'shut the hell up.'
"She's scared to death. of course, but she'll be okay. It'll
just take some time."9

Awkward silence.10

"I'm surprised you got her talking. I didn't think she would-"
He cut me off.
"It's because I know her. She's one of my best friends."He said
matter-of-factly.11

I thought about this for a minute but I was sidetracked when Adam changed the subject.12

"Can you take care of her just for tonight?" He looked at me with pleading eyes.
He was my best friend. I would do anything for him. No questions asked.13

"I can pick her up first thing in the morning.Gena's family isn't gone. I need to get them out of the house and then give Gena the heads up..."14

"You don't need to explain.I'll do it,if she'll let me."15

"Chase?"16

"What?"17

"Watch her. I mean REALLY keep an eye on her. I'm scared that she'll hurt herself.It's going to be hard to do because she thinks you're going to kill her as soon as I'm out the door."18

"Why does she keep saying that? She said that over and over at that house."19

"Keep your cool. Ah...you might need to sit down for this actually."20

"Just tell me."21

"Well, she is kind of...well...the reason that Amy is dead."22

"What?!?!" I yelled and started running towards the stairs.23

Adam jumped out in front of me and threw me to the ground.24

He pinned me to the floor.25

"Don't hurt her!"26

"Oh, I won't...I'm going to talk to her FIRST."27

"Chase.Don't say that! She's really upset about it."28

"Oh, sure she is! I'll bet she's really fucking devastated.29

I'm going to slit her throat!"30

Adam punched the side of my face.31

"Take that back!"32

"No! I lost Amy! I'm not sorry. She has no clue how I feel.33

I hate her and she's a dead girl!"34

I was hit again, harder.Repeatedly. I'm pretty sure the bottom part of my lip was busted. My snakebites were still in tact. That was good. I'm sure that getting one of my lip rings ripped out would have been more painful than busting my lip. Actually, physical pain didn't matter. I was in so much pain mentally, nothing else affected me much.35

"Oh,she's got a taste of what you're feeling and more. Her boyfriend and Amy were killed right in front of her. She WATCHED.
The creeps made her CHOOSE between Amy and HER BOYFRIEND. Who would you choose to die if you were in that situation? The person you love? Or some stranger? Think about it! And...Amy ASKED Lexi to pick her to die."36


I felt like I had been hit by a bullet.37

Amy OFFERED up her life?38

Did she even think about me?39

Was her death quick?40

The girl was FORCED to choose?41

I could taste blood in my mouth and felt really sick.42

Questions raced through my mind. I started breathing ragged breaths.43

Adam started freaking out.44

I was having a panic attack.45

I had tears coming and I was gasping for air.46

"Chase?Oh,God.CHASE!Breathe!Where's your inhaler?"47

I pointed towards the kitchen.He reached a counter in record time and came back with my inhaler,shook it, and put it up to my mouth.48

I took it from there and started to get my breathing back. After a few minutes, I was back to breathing somewhat normal,except for the fact that I was crying. What happened to me? These last 24 hours had altered me so much to the point that I was afraid of myself. Afraid of my reactions. I've lost everything. My girlfriend. MY mind. Another thing was scary was that I wanted to HURT someone.Kill someone. I never imagined in my life that I'd be so upset about something that I'd go to those extremes. 49

What was WRONG WITH ME?50

All I knew was that hurting this girl wasn't going to bring Amy back.51

"Okay.Okay.I won't hurt her. I don't know why I said what I did.52

It's nerves or something. I don't mean it. Sorry."53

I wiped at my eyes and then Adam helped me off of the floor.54

I put my inhaler back on the kitchen counter.55

"Are you sure you can handle this?"56

"Yes. I think so."57

"Swear you won't hurt her?"58

"Adam,I won't.Promise.You know I don't break promises."59

"Okay.Chase,if you really want to know what happened with Amy, TALK to her. Don't SCARE information out of her. She means so much to me. We've been there for each other through thick and thin. I'm trusting you to treat her like one of your good friends.She's a sweet girl and she's traumatized. Just...make her feel safe. And don't let her sleep for awhile.If she does go to sleep, keep waking her up every few hours.I don't want to lose her."60

"She's in good hands. I'll make sure she's fine."61

"I've got to leave but I'll be here first thing in the morning. If anything bad happens,call my cell."62

"Okay."63

Adam walked out the front door and I went upstairs. 64

The guest room was empty when I walked in,but I could hear her sobbing from behind the bathroom door. I twisted the knob. Locked.65

I knocked.66

"Will you let me in?"67

She didn't reply. She just kept crying.68

She could be hurting herself behind this door.69

I had to get through it. There was no other way into that bathroom.70

It had no windows. And only one door. I went back to the kitchen to fetch a steak knife to open the door. After a minute of picking and prying, it unlocked. I shoved the door open and saw her standing in a corner. Tear streaked and shaking. She screamed when I stepped toward her. At least she wasn't harming herself. That gave me so much relief. Now all I had to do was calm her down.71

"Will you be quick?"she said,her voice trembling.72

"Excuse me?" She didn't make sense at all.73

She looked at my hand. I still had the knife.74

"When you slit my throat..."75

I interrupted her.76

"I'm not going to kill you."77

"Oh,sure."78

"You heard our fight downstairs?"79

She nodded.80

Of course she did. We were practically SCREAMING through the first part of our argument.81

I bent down slowly and put the knife on the floor, then stood back up.82

"What you heard...it was...a mistake.I got really worked up.You have to realize I'm really really shaken up.I've lost my girlfriend. She was a huge part of my life.I wasn't thinking straight. I SWEAR I'm not going to hurt you for any reason.
Adam told me that you indirectly killed her, but he also explained that you didn't really have much of a choice. I understand why you
picked her over your boyfriend. I would have picked a stranger to die too."83

"I'm sorry."She said quietly and sank slowly to the floor.84

She wrapped her arms around her legs and hid her face and cried some more.85

I walked over to a cabinet that was under the sink and opened it, reaching for a box of tissues. I walked back to the corner where she sat and sat right in front of her.86

She lifted her face a little and then threw her arms over her head defensively. Like I was going to punch her or something.87

"I'm not mad at you. Honestly." I meant it too.88

I held out the box of Kleenex.She looked up at me and I nodded in encouragement. She finally took one and said "Thanks."89

She wiped at her eyes and tried to slow her breathing.90

I reached for her face and she jerked away but I was determined to
set things straight. She looked so terrified and it was because of me...screaming and threatening her. I grabbed her chin gently and turned her head so she would look at me.91

"I don't want you to be afraid of me."92

"okay."she said,unsure of herself.93

"Are you hurt?"94

"Not too badly."95

I let go of her face. She seemed to be telling the truth. I could see it in her eyes.96

"Did Adam tell you my name?"97

"No."98

"I'm Chase.And you are..."99

I knew her name but she said it before I could get it out.100

"Lexi."101

"Let me help you back to the bed, Lexi."102

I held my hand out and eventually,she took it.103

I pulled and she sucked in a sharp breath.104

"What is it?"105

"My wrists. It hurts to try to pull myself up."106

"Oh,sorry.I forgot.Okay.Let me try something else."107

I grabbed her by the tops of her arms and lifted her up.108

"Better?"109

"Yeah.Thanks."110

We walked a few steps and I noticed that she was limping.111

"Does your leg hurt?"112

"I think my ankle is sprained."She admitted.113

"Let me carry you."114

I picked her up and she wrapped her arms around my neck.When I reached the bed I put her down and reached for the first-aid kit that Adam had left on the bed.It had an ACE bandage that I grabbed and then I sat Lexi's leg on my lap and began wrapping up her ankle, being careful not to cause her any pain.115

"Why didn't you tell Adam?"116

"I didn't want to give him another excuse to send me to a hospital."117

"Why?"118

"If doctors saw my wrists...they would send me to a correctional facility and I couldn't handle that."119

"But you're suicidal."120

"No, I'm not."121

"You didn't give yourself those cuts?"122

I looked at her arms.She was wearing the black hoodie that I gave her so I couldn't see the bandages Adam had wrapped on her.123

"No."124

"But Adam said you-"125

"He's wrong. I didn't DO this to myself.He didn't believe me."126

"Then,who did that to you?"127

I was finished wrapping her leg.128

"My boyfriend."129

Those two words repulsed me.Intensely so.130

"You LET him?"131

"Yeah."132

"What in the hell? Was he sick in the head?"133

"NO.He loved me.Really.He did it to save me."134

"Ha!Save you?It sure looks like he was crazy about you.
I would have got my girlfriend flowers or KISSED her to show my affection.But this guys blows all men out of the water.Cutting your girlfriends' wrists...now THAT'S that most adorable thing ever!"135

My sarcasm has never been so thick.136

"Fuck you.I would have died back at that house if it weren't for Austin."137

"Really."138

"He didn't have a choice! Those weirdos MADE him do it.Otherwise, they would have shot me."139

She tried to get off of the bed.140

"Where do you think you are going?"141

"Away from you."142

"Why?"143

"Because you're a prick!I hate you.You should have slit my throat when you had the chance.Better yet...I'll do the job for you!"144

She headed off in the direction of the bathroom.
She wasn't walking very fast,but the bandage made it easier for her to support herself.She was crying by the time she reached the knife.Lexi lifted it up and I grabbed her arm and shook it once,sending the knife to the floor.I took her hands in mine and held them tight while she struggled to get it back.
"Lexi,stop."
"NO!"She screeched.
I didn't let go of her hands until she gave up. She then leaned into me and sobbed into my shoulder.
"Lexi,I'm sorry.I had no idea that was how you were hurt.I won't bring up stuff like that again."
"It's not your fault.You don't have to apologize."
"Yes,I do.I AM a prick.A total asshole and you deserve respect."
"I'm truly sorry."
She started to walk away but I grabbed her hand and pulled her back towards me.
"For what?"
"For wrecking your world!"
"You didn't."
"Your girlfriend is dead and it is all my fault."
"Lexi,I forgive you.You did what you HAD to do,okay?Did you WANT to kill her?"
"No!She was really cool.I actually think that if she would have survived that we would have been best friends."
"Then,I won't hold anything against you.That's really nice of you to say that.Whether you mean it or not."
"I do mean it,Chase.I hate that you have lost her.I know she loved you a lot.I can see why now.You're caring,understanding,and thoughtful.I mean,look at you.You are letting me wear your clothes,stay in your house,rest on one of your beds.I am a murderer,i killed someone who meant so much to you and I'm still here...in your home."
"let's drop this subject.It's upsetting."
I hope she didn't think I was being rude...but I wasn't quite ready to hear about Amy just yet.It pained me to think of her.
"I'm not trying to upset you,I just wanted to-"
"Just stop.Please?"
She started after the bed without saying another word.
"Here,"I lifted her again,took her to the bad,and sat her back down."Don't be mad at me.I'm just...on the verge of another panic attack.Hearing about Amy is hard to handle.You understand,right?"
"Yeah,I get it."She crossed her arms and sat propped up against the headboard of the bed.I pulled down the covers out from under her and then placed them over her legs.I sat on the side of the bed,staring at a white wall.We both kept quiet for awhile and then Lexi spoke.well,whispered.
"Can I ask you something?"She sounded unsure of herself.
"Shoot."
"How did I end up here?"
"I carried you to my car and drove a few hours until I got home."
"Then you had Adam come over?"
"Yeah,I called him because you wouldn't...wake up.I didn't know what to do."
"Was I...you know..."She sounded like she wasn't going to finish the sentence.I looked at her then.She was on the verge of tears again.
"Raped?"I finished the sentence for her.I had a pretty good idea this was what she was trying to ask.
She nodded shyly.
"You really don't remember what happened?"
"No.That guy drugged me up with something.Things got blurry and I was numb.I remember I couldn't MOVE.I remember him standing over me...ripping my jeans off...and then I blacked out."
"He didn't rape you.I promise.I took care of it."
In other words,I shot the mother fucker.
"Why'd you stop him?"That question caught me off guard.Why wouldn't I?
"I'm not heartless.I would never let something so horrible happen if I had anything to do with it."
"You wouldn't have stopped him if you knew beforehand that I killed Amy."
"Yes,I would.I don't know why you're being so hard on yourself."
"I'm a KILLER.I'm responsible for their deaths.I'm the reason they are GONE."
"I killed people too."
"But I killed people who didn't deserve death."
"You're going to be okay.Don't let that get to you.It's over now.Bury it in the past."
"That's kind of hard to do."
"I know."
Lexi was truly a beautiful person.She was skinny and frail looking.Like Amy.Her bleach blond hair was a little past shoulder length and she had long bangs that were pushed off to one side of her face.The typical scene kid.But she WASN'T scene.she just had the hair.She had perfect teeth and her eyes.HER EYES WERE SICKENINGLY PRETTY.A shade of icy blue that I have never seen before.She had full lips and a straight nose.Seeing her upset,upset me more than it should have.I just wanted her to be happy and not traumatized anymore.I promised Adam that I would make her feel safe.
"Do you need anything?Water?More pain medicine?I can get something stronger."
"No,I'm good for now."
"Don't be afraid to speak up if you need anything at all.really."
"Okay."
She uncrossed her arms and pulled herself out from under the covers and scooted to the edge of the bed.Her feet dangled to the floor and she was RIGHT next to me.I didn't know what she was planning on doing but she seemed reluctant to do whatever it was.
"Is something wrong?"I was really concerned now.
"No,"She whispered.
"Then...What is it?"
She hugged me.And the waterworks continued.So much crying between the both of us.You'd think we'd be all cried out.But that wasn't the case.It sucked.
"Lexi,what's wrong?"I hugged her too and rubbed her back,trying to sooth her.
"Thank you soo much."
"For what?"
"Not leaving me there at that house.For stopping that guy from raping me.For SAVING MY LIFE.I owe you-"
"Nothing.It's all over.You're safe.Shhhh."
And she was safe,now that I really thought about it.
* * *
"Lexi,how long were you at that house?"
"I don't know for sure.A few days?"
"I'm guessing you didn't eat there?"
"No."
"How about I make you some food?"
"I don't want to eat."
"Why?"
"You know how people don't have an appetite when they have the flu?"
"Yeah.Do you think you're going to get sick?"
"No, but I FEEL that way."
"You should eat something.Even if you don't feel like it."
She shook her head.I pulled her arms off of me and pushed her back so she would look at me.I made a pout face.My busted lip stung a bit but I didn't care.
"Please!For me?Just try something.I'm like a really really good cook.I can make anything your heart desires honey."
The gay voice did it.She cracked a smile.And it was breathtaking.
"Okay,I'll TRY to eat something."
"That's what I thought.Do you mind if I carry you downstairs?"
"I don't mind.If you think you can carry me that far."
"I most definitely can.You're so freakin tiny!"
I picked her up and took her down the stairs.
My living room was connected to the kitchen,so I figured I'd let her rest on the couch while I cooked for her.I sat her down and covered her up with a huge fleece blanket that was draped over the couch.
"Thanks,you're a doll."she laughed.I laughed too.
"Now,what would you like,miss?"I said in a British accent.
"Hmmm.I don't know.Surprise me with anything as long as it isn't meat."
"Any particular reason for that?"
"Vegetarian."
"What?!?!Are you for real?"
"Yeah,I know.Everyone I know thinks I'm ridiculous for being one.I get it."
"No,I'm not going to give you a hard time for that.I'm a vegetarian too."
"No way!"
"Yep.Okay,on the count of three we'll say our favorite food.okay?"
She nodded.
"One.Two.Three."
"Mac and cheese!"we both said at the same time.With the same enthusiasm.
HOLY SHIT.This chick is rad.
"Mac and cheese it is."
"kay."she laughed.
I sat on top of a counter while the macaroni noodles boiled and I kept my eyes on Lexi.Making sure she wasn't going to have another episode.I don't like seeing her cry at all.She seemed okay...for now.We didn't talk,just observed eachother.Sometimes we'd make eye contact and look somewhere else in a split second.The timer on the stove went off.
I mixed the milk,butter,and cheese powder with the noodles and poured it into two bowls,grabbed two forks,and tucked two cold water bottles from the fridge under an arm.Then,I sat next to Lexi on the couch.
"Smells good."
"I bet it TASTES even better.I cooked it."I laughed.She smiled.
We ate in silence for about 2 minutes.It wasn't long.
"This is delicious."
"I told you I can cook.ha.ha."
She reached for her bottle of water and then sighed.
"Will you open my water bottle cap?It hurts when I twist."
"Of course."
Eventually,we finished eating.
"Do you want more?"
"Nah.I'm full."
"I don't believe that but I'm glad you ate a little for me.Now I won't have to worry about you starving."
"Sorry to ask for another favor,but can you get me an ice cube and wrap half of it with a paper towel?"
What an odd request but if that's what she wanted...
"Umm.Yeah.No Prob."
I fetched what she wanted and leaned back on the couch,ready to be amazed.What in the hell was she up to?
She slowly reached towards my face with the ice cube and placed it to my busted lip.
"That looks painful.I can't believe Adam actually punched you.He's never EVER violent."
It was a little difficult to speak with ice to my lips but not impossible.
"It stings.I'm not gonna lie.But I deserved the punches.He was just looking out for you.You mean a lot to him.Besides,he NEEDED to knock some sense into me.I can't believe I was going to hurt you earlier!I've never even THOUGHT of hitting a girl before today.I wanted to KILL you.Isn't that...SICK?"My voice caught on the last word.
I took the wrapped up ice cube from her and threw it into an empty mac and cheese bowl and slammed my fists on a table.
Silence.
"Don't be mad.You didn't do anything wrong."Lexi mumbled.
"But I thought about it!"I snapped."And that's just as bad!"
"Chase,you're scaring me.Please calm down."
I nodded.Inhale through my nose and exhale through my mouth.Repeat.
"Sorry I raised my voice."
She smiled weakly.Unsure if I was going to lash out at her if she said anything.145

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