The Perfect Villain: Chapter One

It was dark. It was damp. Corpses littered the floors, complete with faces of sheer terror. The place was frighteningly cold, too and no sounds emitted from its interior. 1

Terran remembered coming here once, as a boy. The king here was gentle and good, filling his castle with warmth and comfort.2

Now it was void of life and any form of kindness. Terran and the other men crept along, silently, hoping to get out as soon as possible. They knew that he was here, the crazed man who had stolen their normal lives and made them mercenaries. 3

The men finally came to the door they remembered as the entrance to the throne room. Undoubtedly, he was inside. Terran cautiously turned the door handle and pushed the door open. Surprisingly it came open with no effort wasted. They scanned the room, but there was no sign of him. 4

Beyond the throne Terran spotted two doors… one leading to the king’s bedroom and one down to the dungeons. The men smiled and ran to the dungeon door.5

“John, run down and grab her. If you have any trouble, call us.” Terran whispered. The man named John nodded and descended the stairway to the dungeons. “Now men, as soon as we get the princess, we’ll go into the bedroom. Hopefully he’s sleeping and we can catch him off guard.” 6

The men nodded their approval to the plan and soon John came up holding a young woman in his arms.7

“Hell… Kieran is down there.” John said, fighting back tears.8

“What!” Terran exclaimed. Why didn’t you get him out of there? We’ve all been wondering where the hell he went!9

“He… he’s dead. You should have seen him…”10

Terran sat down slowly. Kieran …he was a great man. He really was. Damn it! Luscious has to pay for this, if not for everything else he’s done. He rose to his feet and pulled at the doorknob to the king’s room. The door didn’t budge. Terran, in a fit of rage kicked the door violently and still it stayed firm.11

“It’s not going to open, my friends.” A voice said from behind them. The mercenaries turned to see Lucious, the man himself, standing in the doorway behind them. The suit he always wore, black from top to bottom made him almost invisible in the black corridor. He brushed back his long silvery hair. “That’s my personal room. You don’t think I’d let just anyone waltz in do you?”12

“You son of a bitch” Terran raged. “You’re gonna die.”13

“Well Terran, I really don’t have the time. Oh yes, I see by your face that you’re surprised I know who you are. I have my sources of course. Anyways, I’m afraid it’s all of you who are going to die today. I don’t take trespassers lightly.”14

He stepped backwards to allow five creatures to prowl into the room. The beasts’ wolfish body shapes were mixed with a bear-like size. Their coats were silver as the full moon, pointed teeth bared, and deep red eyes darting quickly to each of its prey. They stared at the group hungrily. 15

“What the fuck…” Terran began.16

“I find they’re more loyal than humans, a lot fiercer too, as you’re about to find out. Have fun.” He waved towards the monsters and they leapt at the group. Terran pulled out his only weapon, a dagger, to defend himself. As he dived over one beast, he plunged the dagger into another’s neck. It growled angrily and shook him off carelessly. It ran off to attack another of his friends, dagger still imbedded in its body.17

Terran watched helplessly as each of his friends was murdered by the foul creatures. He was alone. Lucious smiled at Terran and walked to him. 18

”I think you should leave now boy. Tell your friends.” With that, he walked out of the room followed closely by his beasts. Terran ran to each of the men to find them torn apart and clearly dead. As John was the last he checked, he noticed a white cloth under him. The princess! Terran pushed John off of her and found her, still alive. She opened her eyes and gave him a tiny smile.19

“Princess, are you all right?” There was no response. Terran picked her up, and as he did a piece of paper fell out of her dress. He bent to pick it up and read it quickly.20

Dear Terran, 21

I just wanted to inform you that22

the princess won’t be talking any time soon. In fact, 23

she won’t ever. After a few weeks in captivity, 24

her screams just became unbearable, and well25

the only solution was to cut out her tongue.26

I’m truly sorry...27

Oh, and by the way, I hope you find your28

way out quickly… my friends get hungry fast. 29

Sincerely,30

Lucious31

Terran crumpled the paper and threw it to the ground.32

“I’m so sorry, Princess.” He whispered softly. 33

He then ran the rest of the way out of the castle. High above, Luscious watched him run and smiled. Everything was working out perfectly.34

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Comments


  • Noisome.
    September 7, 2008

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    The name you want is Lucius, I think. I agree with comment before mine.. more descriptions, yo. Also, when I'm less tired, remind me to edit this, kay? I like the ideas, and I love how you do this.. but it moves too freaking quickly! COME ON. Let me savor the evilness of what's-his-face and let me feel every nasty, disgusting crack and snap of the monsters tearing up those do-gooders. COME ON. =]
    Yeah, I'm twisted. Gimme more. ;]


  • GPsSnowFox
    September 5, 2008

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    awesome! this is great...more description would be nice though. Great work

    -Snow


  • Myra La-Ryn
    September 5, 2008

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    Really awesome. I'm glad you gave the "hero" and "villain" names.
    I do have to ask though, Luscious... is that intentional or are you going for Lucius? Other then that, just as good as it's prologue. The murder of the friends could be a bit more detailed especially since we don't know these people particularly well. The description of the animals is also really good.

    Nice work, Dan!
    MLR

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.