Its kind of funny looking back on it now, i mean it has been years since it happened. At the time I was still young, still innocent, well until that day. The day when I took his life. It was the day when my innocence died, it is the secret that has been killing me, as if his body wasn't the only thing hidden.1
I still remember what happened very clearly, the memories was burnt into my head. You don't forget something like that so easily, I took someones life.2
I remember the feeling when I killed him. This feeling was of bitter helplessness. I couldn't let him live as much as I wanted too. He had too die or at least that was what I was thinking. That night he had made me very angry and the feeling flooded my soul. My anger possessed me, I wasn't in control of my body. I had no choice in the matter, he was going to die and I was going to kill him. That was the reality and I had no choice, no input. 3
The detail that disturbs me the most was the innocent look in his eye. The look someone has right before they die. He was begging for his life without even opening his mouth, too bad it didnt work. I would like to see where he would be today if I let him live. Oddly I miss him4
Author notes
my first attempt at writing, be kind
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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good luck in the contest
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this is really good, i liked it a lot, very interesting to read..never stop writing...i will be looing forward to more from you
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: )
madness on the go here - you've blown me away as usual .. yeah i agree with Ayizan that you DEFINATLY should write somemore stories.. very good so keep it up- you are very creative -Cassondra
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Nice
Nice Job I loved it. Brilliantly written, to the point, and kept me intrested. -
BRAVO SUG TAKE A BOW
this is your first attempt???!!! dude look and listen i love to read and whenever im reading a book especially a good book i like to have my mind transported there and for this to be your very first attempt well hun youve successfully transported my mind there alright.....hope to see more of your story writing soon
smooches
-Ayizan -
ohh. Good. Unique I think. Keep up the good work. Hard to read...I mean if it is real or not...but great!
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imortal the root word of immortality.. keeps wondering even after its over..... i think you feel like you've killed some1 but not by taking their life... thats why this is so real.... amazing
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I read that this is fiction, yet you have done something simular I see. There is some regret in your words that is not frankly stated. Hmmmn... Not human - yet a life extinguished by your will? You felt helpless at the time no doubt.
Regret came later not right away.
It is tough to feel you, yet there is hope... these words anger you, don't let them. I have read many of your poems and there is something behind them, you don't want to share openly.
Creative write. -
its good..and makes wonder if it really happened? fiction??
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