Atlantis. The gleaming city lay on a large isle. Its fantastic towers and walled capital were known throughout the world. Its markets had expensive cloths, priceless gems, fresh produce, fat livestock, but it was best known for its magical items. Enchanted gloves and bespelled books and all sorts of other magical curios. 1
And it was for this reason that the Laryonthes had decided to conquer the city. Descended from bloodthirsty cannibals, the race had developed its own brand of bloody magic. Huge effects achieved with large sacrifices and blood offerings. And now, after years of secret construction, the Laryonthes set out on their huge fleet of battleships, each painted blood red.2
Atlantis, hearing of the approaching enemy, quickly prepared defenses. The royal court sent for all the city's most powerful sorcerers, and several were prepared to whip up a whirlpool or weave heavy fogs. But, the wisest of the magicians advised the king to hide Atlantis from the invaders. His idea was brought before the island's council and was won the council's approval.3
On the day of the battle, the Laryonthes arrived. but, to their astonishment, the island seemed bare and uninhabitted. many suspected trickery and the the fleet slowly drew close.4
Then, with a flash of lightning, the illusion was thrown away, and the sorcerers of Atlantis began to chant. They had decided to destroy the Laryonthes instead. Slowly, with the combined powers of more than 400 magicians, a huge hole began to appear in the ocean. The Laryonthes reacted quickly, their ships desperately turning to avoid the abyss. But alas, too late. The scarlet fleet was quickly obliterated, the whole naval army sucked up in seconds.5
On the isle, the magicians cheered in triumph. But, they had miscalculated. And they were about to pay for that small error.6
The watched as slowly, the giant whirlpool grew. The panicking magicians tried frantically to seal the monster they had created but soon, the foundations of the island quaked and waves quickly covered the panicked city. 7
The fiersome whirlpool finally drew back, to reveal ... nothing. Just another part of the ocean. Calm and tranquil, like any other sea. Except, deep beneath the waves, inside the dark abyss, lay two civilizations, forever silent, forever at peace.8
Comments
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Very good!
n_n
yet... par. 5 - maybe new par. right b4 "slowly, the giant whirlpool..."
par. 7 - "big and Blue" good punctuation *smirk smirk*
how is it, my frienemy, that u R SO MUCH BETTER AT THIS STUFF THAN I AM???? *rips out hair in frustration*


