THE ROAD TO DESTINY1
The road is long2
It has many different feelings, sights, smells, sounds3
I am attracted to them but at the same time afraid. 4
I see... Lines forming on the road I try to repair them but they are part of me,5
I am joined to the road and it to me, we are one.6
It is a strange road, my feet seem to know where to go,7
It's like dancing a tango without knowing how. 8
I hear... Noises on the road,9
Mourning, Happines, Joy, Anger,10
They are confusing, they change a lot,11
Nothing lasts on this road, it is only temporary.12
I smell... memories on the road,13
Smells from my youth, cakes and cookies,14
I smell fear, running in rivulets pooling up around me until I'm drowning. 15
This road is long, my feet are tired,16
I can feel the connection breaking...17
Finally I read the crossroads I've been working towards for 52 years.18
I know I finished the journey young but it has always been...19
THE ROAD TO MY DESTINY. 20
We all meet at this crossroads, but then we don't walk it alone. 21
Comments
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the road is my destiny... i feel like that sometimes
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I like the idea. I think you need to polish it up a bit every line seems like a different thought and it doesn't exactly flow really well in the beginning I found flow in that they are all different thoughts and all detached but attached to the same starting idea The Road To My Destiny. But then your ideas kinda started to mesh or just a few of them would and it made it choppy and it lost its flow. I really, really like the line:
We all meet at this crossroad but then we don't walk it alone.
I think that idea should be brought in sooner or you should expound on it more. I think its a great start but I strongly suggest not leaving it like this.
Elli -
Well, it is a very good poem. I liked it, although, I didn't see a connection to us as we all share the same fate. Yes, the road in our lives are apart of us. But once it's broken... What can you do?
Leave it be? Floating endlessly, never to be together again? Or reattach the parts, making them whole?
Your life is in your hands...
Good job...


