The Fine Line Between Love and Hate

Kory sat in his room, focusing on the picture of him and his girlfriend. She looked so happy in that picture; her blond and blue hair blowing, her bright blue eyes shining, her arms around Kory tightly. Why did he love her so much before? Now, it seemed that the more time he spent with her, the more his hate for her grew.1

She didn't hate him. She wanted to spend every waking moment with him, every minute of the day. She wanted to be by his side through the good and the bad. Kory used to be like that, too, but something was going wrong in his mind. He thought of her as evil. He couldn't stand being in her presence. There was something wrong, yet he didn't know what. Why did he suddenly despise his girlfriend?2

He picked up his phone and half dialed her number, but he put it back down. "No," he said to himself, "If I break up with her, I'll regret it later."3

But as he continued to stare at the picture, his hate burned inside of him. He picked it up and threw it at the other wall, and it shattered to pieces. Luckily, no one was home to notice and ask what was going on. He was trying to figure that out himself.4

He felt like somehow, she had broken his heart. Maybe by the way she was always with him, always there. She never wanted out of his sight. All of Kory's other girlfriends had broken up with him by the first month. But Dani was different. She loved him, and she thought he loved her. They had been a couple for four solid months now. Kory thought, somehow, she broke his heart. That's what it felt like inside of him. It felt like Dani just hurt him, hurt him bad, and he could do nothing about it. When really, Dani did nothing, and he was just beginning to resent her.5

Kory quickly picked up the pieces of broken glass and put them in his trash can. One of the shards slit his palm, and blood rushed out. He stared at it for a second, then went to his off-white walls. He squeezed his hand together, and then rubbed it on the wall. In blood, he wrote: "You take the breath right out of me."6

After this, he ran down the stairs and out of the house, wondering if he'd ever return.7

He found himself walking in the direction of her house. He wondered why his mind brought him here. All he could think of was what was written on his walls in blood. He began to regret even that, but didn't want to return home. Yet, he knew, someone should know something. So he ran back the other way.8

When he reached his house, Kory wrote a note on a piece of paper with a blue-ink pen. It flowed easily as he scribbled down his message to his family:9

I'VE LEFT, POSSIBLY FOREVER. I DO NOT EXACTLY KNOW WHY, BUT PLEASE DON'T WORRY, BECAUSE I WILL MAKE IT ON MY OWN. AND I CAN'T STAY HERE.10

After he stuck it on the refrigerator, he went back to his room. He looked at it one last time, and left.11

He found himself back at Dani's house again. Why in the world was he going in this direction? Why was his mind and body bringing him here? What did he care about her anymore? Why didn't he care about her anymore?12

He did it again; he took a sharp rock from the house's pathway and slit his other hand. He squeezed it together, and then went to the side walls of Dani's light yellow house. On it, he wrote: "You take the breath right out of me."13

And he left...again.14

Now Kory had no clue where he was going. He couldn't drive. He was old enough, but he didn't have a car. People would probably think he was a menace and a punk, walking the streets with spiked black hair, tight black jeans, Converse sneakers, and a red Breaking Benjamin T-shirt. Why should they? Why shouldn't they?15

He headed towards downtown Berkeley, which is where he lived. He knew that there were lots of places there he would be welcome. Places like childrens' clubs or record stores. Maybe he could go to Indie Music and talk to Mike. Mike spoke like poetry, but he usually had a great point, so maybe he could tell Kory what to do. Maybe he could straighten Kory's life out. Or maybe he'd just tell him to go see a shrink, just like all his teachers.16

He went into Indie Music and shouted, "MIKE!!" Some weird guy looked up from behind the counter. 17

"Mike's not here," the weirdo said, "He moved."18

Now Kory felt like he was going to faint. He hated his girlfriend. His teachers hated him. He had no one to talk to except Mike, and now he moved? What was he going to do? He had nowhere to go. He ran away from home, and the only person he knew that would take him in was Mike Carter, and he moved away. "Where'd he move to?" Kory asked.19

"San Francisco," the stranger replied.20

"I'm going there," Kory said.21

"Good for you. You got a car, kid, and you can go anywhere you want."22

"I don't have a car, I'm walking," Kory stated. He had a solemn expression on his face.23

"You're gonna walk that far? What are you, twelve? Thirteen?" the weirdo guy asked.24

Kory was almost shouting now. "Yes, I'm gonna walk! And I'm sixteen, you retard!"25

He ran out of the store, towards Oakland. He had his whole plan; go through Oakland, walk across the Oakland Bay Bridge, and into San Francisco. When he got there, he would look up Mike and find out where he lived. Then he would go to his house. That was all he thought of so far.26

Kory ran about five miles beforing collapsing to the ground.27

He woke up in a hospital. "What the hell am I doing here?!" he screeched. A nurse dressed in all white smiled his way.28

"You were found unconcious in the middle of Oakland," she replied.29

"I'm in Oakland?" Kory asked. The nurse nodded. "Can I go?" he asked.30

This time the nurse shook her head. "I'm sorry, but we have to keep you overnight."31

"In that case," Kory said, "Would you mind leaving so I could get some rest?"32

"Of course," the nurse smiled, and left.33

Kory snuck out of the bed and put on his own clothes. Then he opened his first-story window (luckily!) and hopped down. He looked around, then spotted the Bay Bridge. He ran in that direction.34

He felt weak, so he slowed to a walk. He didn't want to collapse again and postpone his trip any longer. He just wanted to find Mike. Why, exactly, he didn't know. He knew all Mike would tell him was that he would find out the answered on his own, sooner or later. He sometimes even sang the Breaking Benjamin song, "Sooner or Later." Whenever Kory complained about something, Mike would just sing, "Sooner or later, you're gonna hate it, so go ahead and throw your life away." And it usually changed Kory's mind.35

Now he tried to push the song out of his head.36

He found himself standing right in front of the Bay Bridge. Cars sped past in both directions. Kory made his way to the side and started walking, that long walk across that ever-so-long bridge.37

As he walked, he sang. He sang everything he knew. He sang Breaking Benjamin, he sang Three Days Grace, he sang Foo Fighters and Green Day and Blink-182. He sang every song he knew, but once he started singing "Breath" by Breaking Benjamin, he also started thinking about what was going on. "So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left. I know that I can find the fire in your eyes. I'm going all the way, get away, please. You take the breath right out of me. You left a hole where my heart should be. You gotta fight just to make it through, cause I will be the death of you."38

After he finished the song, tears were streaming down his face. It scared him. He began to question what he was doing. But he pushed all those thoughts out of his head and kept walking.39

It was eleven p.m. when he reached the other side. He snuck into a furniture store and hid till they closed. Then he slept on one of the biggest, most comfortable mattresses all night.40

In the morning, he woke up and hid till the store opened again. When it did, he snuck out the door and wandered the streets of San Francisco.41

He stopped at a police station and asked where Michael Stuart Carter lived. The policeman told him that he lived on 19 Redwood Road. Kory ran off in the direction the officer pointed him in.42

He stopped in front of an apartment building. Yeah, seemed like the kind of place Mike would live in. Kory entered only to find a board that would my his life that much easier - it had every resident at the apartment and the number of the room they were in. He scanned it and found Mike's name and that he was in room 213. He went down the hall and took the elevator to the second floor. He walked down another hall and found Mike's room.43

He took a deep breath when he heard "Animal I Have Become" by Three Days Grace blaring. He must have people over, and didn't want to listen to some stupid kid's problems.44

But he knocked anyway.45

The music stopped abruptly and the door opened. Mike stared down at Kory, wondering what he was doing there, wondering if he actually was there.46

"What...how...where..." he stammered.47

"I need to talk to you," Kory said.48

"Where'd you come from?" Mike asked. 49

"I walked here from my house."50

"YOU WHAT?!!"51

"Mike, don't freak. I came from my house. I'm having problems."52

"You're going to have major prblems if you don't get home."53

"I'm never going home."54

And for once, Mike didn't have something extremely intelligent and poetic to say.55

As a matter of fact, he didn't know what to say.56

- To be continued... -57