A dark silhouette moved in the shadows of the fire-eater’s wagon. The tall man leant forwards, his heart beginning to beat as he squinted into the gloom. 1
“Who’s there?” he called, his rough voice quavering slightly. Something wasn’t right. The shape stepped forwards to reveal a man with a hooded cloak. But the fire-eater saw the red-rimmed eyes and flame-red hair. “Murderat.” he breathed.2
“Too right.” the other man sneered. “You’re getting a little too big for your boots, Mr Dalziel. Someone needs to take you down a peg or two.”3
Before Mr Daziel could answer there was a flash of silver and blood spurted everywhere, staining the dark wooden floor. Raising an eyebrow, Murderat carefully wiped his knife blade on his victim’s jacket and left the trailer. Someone would find the body in the morning. Until then, he had work to do. 4
He crossed the silent field where the circus had pitched its tents and darted up the steps to his wagon. Hardly the build for a lion-tamer, Murderat was sick of the mocking whispers and sniggers that followed him everywhere. His light springy body was a lot stronger than it looked but, despite his many victories in fights, people still looked on him as a joke. Last night the audience had actually laughed when he had stepped onto the stage! Laughed, at him. He would show them. The world would pay. Starting with the circus workers.5
Carefully rearranging ornaments on a shelf in his wagon, Murderat looked through the window at the dark field and smiled, imagining the panic that would ensue in the morning. And who would suspect him, the lion tamer with a weak heart and a limp? No one. He was safe. He would never be caught.6
Author notes
I know it's short and I wrote it like... years ago I think. I don't think it's ever gonna get further than the first chapter, which is unfinished. I'm just interested in getting opinions 
In a list
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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this is a really good start on a story....i am so happy that i can start reading your stories again off to the next story
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Heh, really glad you liked it. I should be back on the writing track soon (I hope) and get some more new stuff up ^_^! Thanks for reading!
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"leant forwards"- leaned forward
"Before Mr Daziel could answer there..."- Before Mr Daziel could answer, there...
rearranging (the) ornaments
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Interesting, for a prologue. Try working on this when you have time. You may just come out with something great. Bonne chance -
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Thanks very much for the corrections. This is one of my older stories; normally I don't get so much bad grammar. I didn't have time to proof read before posting, lol. Thanks very very much for the read.
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Mention not...
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Wow! This was a really great start to a story! ^^ I can't wait to see what happens next. You detailed this very well, and kept me hooked with the suspense. I loved reading this and hope you continue writing this well
~*Princess*~
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Wow, you read my stuff so fast princess
! *massages Princess's feet and gives her a cookie* Lol
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Lol! Yush, yush I do Thank you loyal servant! *pats your head while devouring cookie* Now go jump off a cliff!
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*searches for the desired cliff and jumps cheerfully*
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