Rest In Peace

For as long as I can remember, I have always been shunned to the side by others. And I have a pretty good memory. Even as a small girl I can remember never having a partner to work with at school, having to be paired off with the teacher who warily kept her distance from me. I was always chosen last for any kind of team and had to be assigned to close-knit groups that gave me the cold shoulder.1

My parents fought for my acceptance in society, don't get me wrong, but they just couldn't convince the other parents that I was OK and safe, and that their children weren't going to 'catch' it off me. They mainly had to convince everyone that I wasn't a liar, and I wasn't deluded. This, however, didn't work.2

My problem was, and still is, that I can communicate with the dead. I can speak to them, see them, even feel them if I want to. And let me tell you something, seeing ghosts isn't all it's cracked up to be. Everyone thinks ghosts are lost, scared people who just wanted to see their loved ones for one last, special moment. In all honesty, it is nothing like the movies. Ghosts are evil, wicked beings that want to cause havok and reap the rewards. They thrive on chaos and grow more and more powerful. And it's a total bitch to put up with. All the nice, good ghosts go straight on to where ever they go - and I get stuck with the menaces. 3

The good thing about being young is that people can at least humour you. The older you get, the angrier people get and the angrier people get, the more trouble they cause. As soon as I hit a decent age, my school stuck me in therapy and I've had councelling ever since. The problem with that is as I've got older, I have understood hatred more and more. Not only for the people around me, but the loathing that ghosts feel when they are around me and other human beings. It's a cold, dispairing emotion and it seems to suck the life out of you, leaving a hardened shell behind. But the more I learn about hatred, the more concerned the psychiatrists become, and the more I'm accused of lying and being mentally unstable. 4

The main difficulty with seeing ghosts is that noone believes you. Sure, there are old, lonely ladies that ask me to talk to their husbands - which I do, but only to offer comfort to them - but on the whole, everyone thinks you're a mental case. Which is what landed me in a psychiatric ward on my eighteenth birthday in some far off town that noone has ever heard of. 5

So this is my story.