The Holy Pen - Part 1: The Email From Cassidy

Phil had been joining crazy religions or cults all his life. It was his nature. However, he always had his doubts about them in the end. He was an atheist at heart but refused to believe it. He started when he was a kid. He overheard his dad going on about the Head of the Lab and then the next day his dad started complaining about how Tom Cruise was a scientologist. Phil got the wrong end of the stick and thought that scientollogy was a religion where a lab was a church, a head of the lab was it's leader and that Tom Cruise was god. He joined this religion and actually managed to persuade quite a few others to join . He only found out he was wrong 2 years later when he googled Scientology. 5 minutes later he was brainwashed-- sorry "converted" into being one. He quickly gave up on this when he was 21 but joined many other off-the-wall religions soon after.1

The first one was the video game religion (Doom had just been released). The next was him worshipping the land of the D'ni. It went on for ages.2

He was just clearing up from his most recent religion, celebrityologist. He believed that we were all shaved off from Britney Spears hair and when her grew back it would be the end of the world. Long story short, Britney's hair grew back, no end of the world. 3

He got his life sorted out after that, when one day later he got a mysterious email. It said simply this:4

"Dear whoever it may concern5

This email is to tell you of a religion that you must join if you want to know the truth about what our goverment is doing. It is the religion of the Holy Pen. This is a religion like none other. If you don't join then may The Great Byro have mercy on you.6

--Cassidy"7

There was a link at the bottom. http://www.nonbelieverswillbeprosecutedforusingthiswebsite.org.uk/holpen.pen8

Phil clicked on the link and so began the wackiest few weeks of his life