Remembering Me

I watch you day after day. You struggle to keep a smile on your face, to balance everything expected of you and your own simple wants and needs, hopes and dreams. Its tough, I know, and then hormones get thrown in. Sometimes, you wonder why you are how you are, why people are how they are. Yet you continue day after day. You seem self-centered, mean and big headed. You act as though the world revolves around you. There are moments, of course, when I see the old you. The kind, caring, intelligent, motivated, young you. All too soon, the old you is gone again. The new you is back, learning, changing, growing. Its tough and the toll on you is clear, obvious. I try to remember, it was but a few years ago. I remember thinking, "I will remember what this feels like. I will help others, once I'm through." But now, I'm past that, and I want to remember, I want to understand. My heart is pulled apart and torn by attempts to connect to you, remember the old me and understand. But still, I'm here, yelling at you.1