First Knowledge of Beauty

Standing at my sink pumping water for tea I had the sudden feeling that I was not alone. Looking up I saw him through the window. He was beautiful; the smooth strength of his back topped by the firm muscles in his shoulders. His oaken hair gleamed with flecks of gold in the sun as the wind danced with it. My eyes slid down to his waist where a sword was held by a leather strap and further to where the wind whipped the material of his covering and I could see the strength of his thighs.1

Blushing with new feelings pouring through me I knew I had to meet this beautiful stranger. Slipping off my apron and straightening my simple frock I slipped out the back door. Silently I walked to the bluffs where he stood. I could tell he heard me because his right hand slid gracefully from its place on his hip to the hilt of his sword.2

Beckoning the courage to speak with beauty I greeted him. “Do not worry sir. I mean you no harm. Tis a hello I have come to share.”3

“And who, me lady, is it that wishes to share this hello?” replied a voice so strong and kind.4

“Tis, only I sir, Moira.”5

He turned to look at me with eyes of amber. I blushed as his eyes swept over my ample curves and lowered my eyes when they rested in the tight bodice of my dress. I did not want him to see the shame in my eyes for I knew I was no beauty.6

“Sweet Moira, do not be ashamed of your beauty.”7

“You jest I am nothing but an old maid. Beauty wasn’t a blessing laid upon me.”8

Gently his hand touched my chin urging my eyes to his he smiled. Passion flared in those amber depths as his head slowly descended towards mine. The whisper of his lips on mine sent waves of curious longing through me.9

“Moira, your beauty is sweet and pure with eyes reflections of beautiful waters on a sunny day. Your smile is sincere and shows true happiness with lips the color of a single rose and skin of ivory that feels of the soft petals” Running his hand up my cheek and into my hair he continued, “Your hair blazes like a fire in the depth of the night.”10

“Tis only the lowering sun that has you saying these things, in the midday I am plain with nothing spectacular to set me apart.”11

“A beautiful woman is not merely a shell of beauty. A true beautiful woman has a beauty within that outshines all others. I have seen you in the school yard with the children in town and the simple joy of spending time teaching them lights you with a beautiful glow. The gentle way you clean their scrapes and dry their tears shows a love for what you do. That is a beauty in which nothing can compare. There are no ladies in town as truly beautiful as you.”12

To hear such a man speak these words of beauty to me was shocking. I have never been beautiful and even me family thought nothing of me marrying. Twas raised to be a simple school marm and nothing more. But the words of this stranger told me different they told me I was beautiful.13

“Gentle sir you are too kind. May I ask your name?”14

“Me dear, gentle I am not. The name in which I am known is simply Rogue.”15

Rogue, I had heard such a name before. It was the name of a man of the sea who was said to be rough and cutthroat. Fear leapt into my eyes at the realization that I was standing with a know pirate of our Gaelic seas. To know he has been watching me and the children sent shivers down me spine.16

“Dear Moira, be not afraid I came here to see the sun setting over the seas as I watched it as a small child. Over the hill is the ruins of the home my father’s-father’s father built for me great great-grandmere in which to raise their family. As a wee child I would visit them with me parents and at sunset sneak over here to watch the sun sink into the waters. Please let me complete this watch and I shall bother you no more.”17

“No bother ‘tall sir. Once the sun has set would thou care for a cup o’ tea. I had just filled the kettle when I saw you standing here?”18

Laughing he replied, “A cup o’ tea sounds nice but I would much prefer something a bit stronger if you have it.”19

Laughing at my silliness in offering him tea I replied, “I do believe I have a bit of whiskey left from my brother’s last visit to offer.” At that I turned to go make the tea.20

“Moira?”21

Turning to look back, “Yes?”22

“ ’Twould please me if you would be kind enough to watch the last of the day’s sun with me.” He reached out his hand to me. In shock I placed mine upon his and he smiled, we turned together to watch the light disappear into the depths of the water. Still holding my hand he turned towards my home and we walked in silence.23

Quickly Rogue opened the door and held it for me to pass through before following himself. Looking around he sat at the small dinner table in the corner.24

I knew if any had seen this man escorting me into my home at night that gossip would fly but there was something about him and I wanted to know more. Quickly I set my tea to steep and poured him 2 fingers of whiskey. Carrying the bottle with me I sat across from him and handed him his drink while setting the bottle on the table.25

Sitting there he gazed at me and I at him. No words were passed but we seemed to understand there was a deeper connection between us. Gently he reached across the table and laid his hand upon mine and smiled. I could not help but to smile in return as his thumb slowly brushed the side of my hand. Nervous at the contentment I felt just with this small touch I jumped up to check the tea.26

“Moira, are you nervous with me here?”27

Not wanting to lie I whispered, “Yes,” while I busied myself pouring the water into my cup and silently stirring the tea. 28

“Is it fear of what others shall think?”29

In shock I turned to face him, “No, I do not fear gossip, for gossip is just a spread of lies.”30

“Then is it me you fear?”31

“No I do not fear you. I see the kindness in your eyes and know you will not harm me.” Turning from him I continued, “I fear the feelings I am feeling with you so near. I can not explain them and yet I want them to continue.” Hearing the scrape of the chair as he stood I looked over my shoulder towards him and laughed uneasily, “Tis silly of me really.”32

His arms gently turned me towards him as he whispered, “Tis not silly for I have them too. I have been around so many others offering themselves to me asking nothing in return and yet I feel that I should give you the world for just the time we have spent together.”33

Haltingly I placed my hands upon his arms and looking up, my eyes searched the depths of his eyes,” Tis not the world I want.” 34

“What is it you want, Moira?”35

“To know love, like never before. I have lived my life as a plain child loved by few and now as an old maid loved only by the children in town.”36

“Moira, you ask for something so easy to give. I am not a man who can love you as you deserve to be loved. You deserve a King or a Prince. Hell, even the town baker would be a better love for you!”37

“Tisn’t their love I ask for. If loved by a King or a Prince I would be loved only for being such a lady and the town baker would love me only for my baking. I ask for a man to love me for me, the whole thing. I can not settle for less. I do not ask for love for a lifetime, just for now.” Gathering my courage I leaned in to place a whisper of a kiss on his lips.38

Pushing me away and turning he barked, “Moira, I am no good for you. You will surely end up hurt if we continue.”39

Placing my hand gently on his shoulder I whispered, “You can not hurt me. I know this Rogue. One night is all I ask of you.”40

“Do you know what you are saying?” 41

“I do.”42

Turning he looked at me and saw the acceptance and love in my eyes. Pulling me towards him his mouth took claim of mine. My hands slid up his powerful arms to grasp the hair at the nape of his neck and hold his mouth to mine. My knees, weakened by the onslaught of his tongue, had me leaning into him for support. His arms wrapped around me, holding me so close.43

Tearing his mouth from mine he whispered hoarsely, “Are you sure this is what you want?”44

Pulling his lips back to mine I replied, “More then anything.” Stepping back, I took his hand and lead him to my small room. He stood in the doorway watching me start the fire and turn to him. I don’t know what had come over me; although I knew this was what I wanted, I was still unsure of how to begin.45

Walking to him, I again grabbed his hand and led him into the room to stand with me beside the simple bed. Looking up into his eyes I smiled as I laid my hand upon his bare chest just below the pendant he wore. His arms then gathered me to him and I felt safer then I had ever felt before as his lips descended to place sweet kisses on my cheeks and hair. I knew not what to do, so there I stood playing with his hair as his lips caressed my skin.46

Slowly his hands guided me to the bed and slid to the buttons of my bodice. Deftly undoing each one, his fingers barely brushed against the uncovered skin. I shuddered at this new contact and his lips found mine as his fingers slowly drew the open material apart. His lips left my face and traveled to cherish my neck and the skin he had just revealed. As his lips introduced me to new wonders his hands slowly pushed the bodice from my skin and slid the sleeves from my arms. Sitting there with my ample breasts freed from their imprisonment I felt no shame as I offered myself to his feasting mouth.47

Turning ever so slightly his tongue circled my nipple and it grew harder with each pull of his lips. The other rolled between his thumb and finger pulling it in the same rhythm. I lay back on my bed, for my bones had turned to jelly by then and he followed me. Laying to my side but not relinquishing his assault on my breasts. Slowly I felt his hand slipping lower and lower pushing at my skirts. Raising a bit I helped him slide the skirts from my waist and below my hips as his lips began to follow the trail of his hands.48

My skin burned under his touch and my body awoke to pleasures untold. As his hands neared my center I froze. Noticing this he looked up at me with his blazing eyes and again questioned, “Are you sure this is what you want?”49

“Yes! OH God, yes, it’s what I want. It’s what I need!” I moaned. His hands began to play just above my center, gently stroking as they worked their way lower and lower. Tantalizing every inch of me his lips continued to trace patterns across the curves of my stomach. As his fingers began to fondle me in an area no one had ever touched my breath quickened and I lost control of my body. Moaning I twisted and turned but relentlessly he held me there with just some soothing words in Gaelic. I don’t know what they meant but the sound itself was enough to drive me crazy. As wave after wave crashed over me I screamed and twisted the bed covers in my hands. Slowly I came down from the crest and pulled him up to me wanting to do nothing but have him as close as possible. 50

His mouth met mine as his hands continued to tease and torture my body but I could feel him shifting above me. Sitting up I reached to release the belt to which his sword hung and he laid it to the side. I then released his kilt and it fell from his hips revealing him completely. Pulling me to him he began to kiss me again and let his hand travel down between us. As he shifted to lay over me I could feel his hardness pressing into my stomach and for a brief moment was scared that he was too big. Slowly he moved and the hardness that was between us was now at my apex. Easing down he began to enter me.51

His lips and tongue did wonders to my neck and face and as his lips again found mine I opened for him. Slipping his tongue into my mouth as he continued to slide into me he took it slow. Coming upon the barrier of my maidenhood he slowed with his body but continued to ravage me with his mouth. Stroking slowly in and out he began to go deeper and finally with one hard push had broken through into unknown territories. As he filled me deeper my body began to tremble and my legs wrapped around his waist pulling him ever closer. 52

Together our bodies pulsed and began a rhythmic dance. We were in tune with each other giving and receiving. As he continued to delve deeper and deeper my hands toured his back leaving distinct stripes from my nails. As our dance became more insistent I lost control, arching my back I could not stand to be apart from his body. 53

We both began to shake with uncontrollable need for each other. His lips trailed rough kisses from my lips to my neck and there he rested his head as the currents rushed through his body. Filled to the brim I exploded as I felt him explode inside of me. 54

Coming down from this crest I felt as though I glowed with love. He had shifted off of me and pulled me closer. Looking over my shoulder at him I noticed his eyes had closed. I snuggled closer and whispered, “I love you.” Closing my eyes I rested my head on his arm and fell to sleep.55

When I woke I knew there was something missing. Stretching lazily on the bed I grinned, looking around I saw he was gone. Wrapping the bed covers around me as I stood, I made my way to the kitchen. He was not there. Looking outside I saw no trace of him. Turning back into the kitchen I saw a piece of paper on the table along with the pendant he had worn. Holding back tears I read,56

“Moira,57

I sit as the sun barely touches the sky and I wonder how and why you chose me to love. You who are more beautiful then the sun as it rises and sets hold a power over me. I leave you now, knowing that I can only bring pain as the days, weeks and years go by just because of who I am. 58

You saw through the tough edges and saw the real me. I see you Moira, a goddess in disguise with a heart of pure gold. You do yourself no justice as you belittle yourself. Your beauty outshines all others I know; for it is a beauty that is throughout and not mere pretty dressings for the world to adore. 59

My beautiful Moira, know that you are in my heart and soul as I travel this world and next. 60

Rogue”61

Smiling Moira held the letter and pendant close to her heart and truly wept. She felt more beautiful then, than she had ever felt.62