Hellz No

My Edward,1

Okay, I've watched Secret Admirer, where the freaking letter makes its' way to everybody, leaving tangled webs of confusion for everyone. Except maybe that one brunette person who is on Full House. I'm sure you know. Or maybe you don't. You don't seem like the type to watch stuff like that. You seem more like someone who would watch MTV more than anything. I really don't watch TV. I read. So I am someone lower than you (or so you might think) on the better scale.2

I've barely even talked to you. Like you'd talk to me. ME! Ha. But I don't know, you could be a complete and utter jerk, or you could be really sweet. I dunno. I don't know why I even like you. You'd never like me. You're beautiful. Oh. Sorry. Whould you prefer "HOTT"?3

Whatever. It's what I say. So get over it. But God, my heart jumps into my throat everytime I see you. And my stomach flutters. My heart beats faster and I lose all coherent thought.4

I can sense when you're behind me. I can tell where you are in the lunch room, next to your slut-face girlfriend. Ugg. Notoshea. Ugg!5

So maybe I have nothing fantastic, fabulous, amazing to say. But what else am I supposed to say? "I like, love you!! OMG!!! WE SHOULD LIKE, GO OUT SOMETIME. ONCE YOU FIGURE OUT I'M BETTER THAN SLUT-FACE!" HELLZ no. That would be ditzish. Something Meera, or Kylie, or Slut-face would write, (who may I add has gone out with just about every guy in our grade?)6

I hated it when you went out with Lyndsey, but at least she was nice. Slut-face is a bitch. I don't know what you see in her. I don't know what you would see in me either, you'll never notice me. But if you're gonna go out with someone, go out with someone who makes you happy, and ISN'T a whore. Please.7

Much Love,8

Me. Hahahaahaha9

p.s. if you've a reply to this, put it in the couch cushon in Mrs. Holt's room. I know you have that class first hour.10

p.s.s. That sounded stalkerish. Sorry.

Author notes

eh. My favourite food is pizza, I suppose. and I'm just writing a love poem. so jah. I'm a girl

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • RachellesWonders
    June 3
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    Notoshea? You dont like her? SHE is the slut face? hmm... I dont think she has gone out with EVERY boy...


  • perfect paradox
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Amusing!

    Wow, that was amusing! I love how the writer seems to be madly in love with this boy she hardly knows about, and she knows it too. A nice spin on a normal situation!

    There are a couple of grammar mistakes (very small ones):
    "My heart beats faster and I lose all coherent thought(s)." Para 4. The second part, '...I lose all coherent thoughts' sounds a little weird. Maybe you want to re-write it as '...I end up loosing all thoughts.' For me, the coherent part messes it up. Well, it's your opinion no matter what.

    And a couple problems with puncuation that are minor.

    Other than that, I find this piece very amusing. Good luck in my contest!

    Cheers,
    Sky♥Prince

  • Sweet-Pea7
    August 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ha. that's fucken awesome. are you gonna show it to him?


  • Cheerful-Panda
    August 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Haha wow interesting take on the the contest
    It defintley made me laugh
    And I know where you're coming from we've all liked the guy who's liked the hoebag instead !
    Good luck!

1 - 5 of 5