Raindrops play musical xylophone notes;1
as they gently plummet to the ground.2
Harpsichords strum in the distance;3
as lightening bolts drown them out with their4
magical light shows.5
A chorus of glorious sounds encompass gratuitously,6
a symphony of splendorous proportions.7
A lullaby cleansing inner turmoils,8
washing away uncleanly thoughts purifying a soul;9
as streams created by these gentle giants,10
flow away burying indigenous feelings,11
deep within moist soil, fertilizing new growth.12
Breathe deeply, in taking medicinal tranquility,13
produced by mists of healing antidotes leading to,14
barefoot dancing in nighttime negligees; 15
as candied cane umbrella's pirouette amongst misty skies.16
Comments
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This is a delight, I love how you used vocabulary in this. Were you an English major by any chance? I'm really impressed with the images here, and the phrases such as "nighttime negligees" (great alliteration- that line is just a treasure.)
I think "candy cane" instead of "candied cane" might be better in the last line, and "unclean" instead of 'uncleanly' but that is just my opinion.
My favorite parts of the poem are the opening and the ending. You know if you can get a powerful first few lines to hook the reader and a powerful ending to make it memorable, which you have done, you have the makings of a great poem. I'm impressed.
Great job, and good luck in the contest.
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