"All right boys, this is it! No more games." Captain Syke yelled over the thumping rhythm of the helicopter blades. They were hovering over their drop point, some where just a few miles inside the quarantine border of Bourbon City. "Move, move, move!" As commanded the four men jumped from the chopper, rolling on contact with the ground to lessen the impact. Captain Nyxi Syke followed her team off after saluting the pilot. He nodded in respect, he'd dropped more off then he'd ever picked up. Going into Bourbon City was a suicide mission. The chopper wheeled away. 1
"Alright team, line it up!" The girl was smaller then all of her team, but they gave her no trouble, she was dedicated, determined and most of al honorable. Her boys fell into place and she observed them, wondering once more what they had gotten themselves into. Her assembled force was one of few specially trained units with the one task of infiltrating Bourbon City. For the next year this battle ground was there new home. Few made it past the first few months. In all the years of it's quarantine little more then a hundred had been extracted once they were dropped off, no one ever met a survivor willing to talk about their encounter. Most of them were emergency pickups for the lucky survivors, none had ever lasted the full year and the most ever brought back from a single team was two people. Two people out of the normal five. The small apocalyptic city was worse then enemy territory and the success rate was minimal at best. There was nowhere safe, they had to get moving as soon as possible. 2
"Lycoris check the maps for and get that GPS up and running, you did bring a compass right? Trigger pass out the big guns, we're gonna need all the fire power we can get, all of you be on guard. Roser, I want antibiotics on had at all times, and Royale…is, is that a samurai sword?" 3
"Affirmative ma'am, it is." He fought back a smile but she could see it twitching at the corners of his mouth. 4
"Royale, might I ask why you have a samurai sword?" She was fighting back her annoyance as well as a smile. 5
"I always wanted to use it ma'am and what better time to try in out then in battle." He reasoned pulling the rest of it out of his bag, then securing it on to his back. 6
"Take a gun anyway." She muttered. "You boys ready?" She asked the others. 7
"Yes ma'am." They all saluted. 8
"Before we set out I want you to loosen the load, take only what we need. And guys, out here there is no rank, we're just friends." She broke into a smile and so did they. 9
They were a team of friends if there ever was one. They'd trained for years together before going on this mission. For a situation such as this strong bounds were both an asset and a hindrance. Nyxi was the leader, a girl slightly shorter then average with short cut brown hair and tree green eyes. The hunter green cargo pants and tank top fit her loosely and her dog tags swung freely around her neck. Asher Royale was the second in command, the boy with the need to bring along a razor sharp katana had the distinct look that marked Asian blood somewhere in his background. He had hair longer then the others, it was a inky black and rich chocolate brown eyes. Apollo Lycoris, the teams navigation expert and communications tactician, was an average built with a dirty blonde crew cut and stormy blue eyes. Callis Trigger was small but an artillery expert and engineer genius, he'd practically grown up with Brain Roser, the teams medical technician. Roser had a big heart and was the less muscled of the team, but one of the most important additions. He held a degree in medical science. 10
"Lock and load, we're moving out." Nyxi commanded shouldering a semi-automatic rifle and sticking .22 into the back of her pants. 11
{~::~}12
"Bring him in here!" Nyxi screamed the orders while firing off several shots from her hand gun. Asher grunted under the weight of Callis and Brian brought up the rear his gun firing the unseen enemy rapidly. They'd lost Apollo months ago and Trigger was suffering from a leg wound. 13
"Block the door!" Asher's voice was filled with a panic they had become all to familiar with over the time they'd spent in Bourbon City. Roser slammed the door shut and braced his back against a filing cabinet on one side of it. He grunted pushing it backwards so it came crashing down in front of their entrance and only exit. They'd taken hold in an one of the many abandoned city buildings, the room they were in now happened to be an office of a once ritzy business. 14
The team stood stock still weapons at the ready to fight off their pursuers should they break through the barricade. It was silent all except for the heavy breathing of the special operations team and the nightmarish moans coming form the other side of the door. 15
A heavy thud sounded from the door, one of the creatures must have thrown themselves against it in an attempt to get through. A shot rang out as Roser's nerves got the better of him and he'd fired. 16
Nyxi glared at him. "Calm down." She ordered, we're safe, "For now." 17
The group sat around, satisfied after watching the door for half an hour that they were in no immediate danger. Roser carefully cleaned and bandaged Callis's wound. Asher was taking guard and Nyxi was sitting in the glassless picture window of the office. Five stories up was too high for the monsters to climb. She watched another day die drown away in a blood red sunset and wondered routinely why they were here. 18
Sure at first it had seemed like a great deal. Spend a year in the dreaded Bourbon City and gain an instant wealth. There was no required quota to reach, no specific plan needed, they just needed to survive. Three months into the operation and surviving was a lot more difficult then it ever had been before. 19
The city below her looked like a sample of after humans. Buildings without windows, over turned car, weeds sprouting through cracks in the pavement, and not a living soul in sight. This place had no rules, strategy was useless and letting your guard down for even a moment was fatal. Everyone was always on edge, the smallest noise sent them into a frenzy, losing Apollo had made it worse. Losing him made it all real, this was dangerous, and they weren't as invincible as they'd first thought. What made it worse was worse was that they couldn’t bury him, there was no time. A shot to make sure he was dead, and would stay that way, and they'd left his body in the street, stomachs churning from the sounds in their wake. 20
"Hey captain, you alright?" Asher approached her. 21
"Just thinking Ash." 22
"About what?" He took a seat opposite her in the window. 23
"About them." She jerked her head in the direction below them, where a mangled figure walked the streets drunkenly. "About why we're here." 24
"Fortune, fame, glory." Ash laughed and stared down at the figure too. "That's why we came."25
"How stupid." She muttered. 26
"You're right we were stupid. Stupid and untouchable."27
Nyxi snorted. "They warned us." 28
"They did." He agreed. "Too bad we didn't listen. Who would of thought it would be so hard to kill the undead?" 29
"See that tower?" Nyxi pointed off into the distance a metal framed radio tower rose above the entire city a red light blinking like a beacon of hope. Asher nodded, "That's where we're heading. We need to get out of here. We radio for help there and have them pick us up." 30
"Didn't we try that?" Asher asked, right after Apollo's death they'd requested a pick up. No one had come. 31
"The signal was weak. They didn't get it." Nyxi muttered the lie over again. "We need to try it again." 32
{~::~}33
"Asher get to the radio we'll finish them off!" Nyxi screamed as she Roser and Trigger stood firmly in front of the door. 34
"I'll be right back." He nodded charging up the stairs to the tower's top, where the signal was strongest and the satellite phone would be waiting. 35
They had three of the foul creatures to take care of. Sure they were slow moving and small in numbers, it was just difficult to kill something the so blatantly refused to die, as most zombies did. Nyxi had gone through a whole clip in no time, they were still advancing. Trigger still walked with a limp even after a week of recovering, he was in the back, the captain and Roser protecting him. 36
Roser shot one straight on in the chest, two meaningless blows. They marched on. Such vile creatures the likes that were meant never to walk the earth again. They smelled horribly or death; rotting flesh and grime. The three let out another round of bullets. The mangled bodies of the once living walked through the hail as if it was nothing. Slack jawed and blank eyes, one even had a broken leg, twisted completely sideways he still dragged it along. They felt no pain, no compassion only an unyielding need to feed. Nyxi felt her breaths grow quicker in panic. Fighting such nightmares was never ending. 37
They arrived sooner then anticipated. Nyxi was firing rounds and slashing out with a knife trying to keep them back. Roser took out a needle of premature poison, a dosage lethal to two men was injected into the neck of one stopping it instantly. The might have been relentless but they weren't unstoppable. Nyxi thrust her dagger through the top of one of the remaining two's soft heads. An ooze to thick and discolored to be blood ran out. She pulled the blade out and slashed the zombie's throat for good measure. 38
"Roser, I got this covered, take Trigger and find Asher." She yelled. 39
Hearing them take off she turned to face her remaining opponent. She'd let too much of her guard down, ,she was cocky from the victories and now it was know where in sight. Mid turn she was tackled to the ground and there was an unpleasant pain in her shoulder. The creature barred down on top of her, teeth embedded in her flesh. 40
She struggled and managed at last to pull free, taking out her handgun and emptying it on the creature. The thing dead she clutched at the shoulder wound panting. She grimaced, knowing know what she'd have to do.41
{~::~}42
Ash hung up the phone the conversation ringing in his head. He couldn't believe it.43
'This is Lieutenant Asher Royale requesting an immediate pick up from Bourbon City.' he hadn't even given the person on the other end time to say a greeting. 44
'Royale, how'd you get through?'45
'Radio tower sir.' He'd responded dutifully. 'We're in bad shape, we've lost Apollo Lycoris we want out sir, as soon as possible.' 46
The other line was silent. 'I'm sorry Asher but we can't do that.' 47
His heart had stopped for a moment then. 'I'm sorry?' He was beyond baffled. 48
'Asher, once you're in Bourbon City there is no out.' 49
'But sir!' 50
'I'm sorry Ash but we can't risk someone carrying back the infection. You were sent to eliminate it not spread it.' 51
'Others,' He'd stuttered, 'You took others out!'52
'Others, Ash there are no others, no one leave Bourbon city alive. You can stay there in fight or we can bring you back in a body bag, if you even reach the pick up point. Your choice.' He'd hung up then, unable to listen to anymore. There was no escape. 53
Roser and Trigger appeared on the stairs, breathing heavily. "Where's Nyxi?" Was his automatic question. 54
"On her way." Trigger gasped, holding his side and grimacing at the stitch that had formed there. 55
"Stay here, I need to talk to her." He left without further explanation. 56
He met her at the door way, she lingered there unsure what to do, hand on the bloody shoulder wound. "Hey, Ash can we talk." She sounded off as she looked past him and to the sword hitched to his back. It had come in handy more then once over their stay. 57
"Yeah, sure captain." He followed as she lead him to a near by alley way. "What's wrong?" Something was up with her it was obvious. 58
The captain took her hand off the shoulder wound. "I have a favor to ask." 59
He saw the ragged teeth marks and sucked in breath sharply. He read her mind at this point. "No captain I couldn't." 60
"You have to." She muttered. "You have to, I don't want to become one of them. Kill me before it's too late." 61
"Captain I could never!" 62
"Ash, listen this is an order! I'm as good as dead now! I don't want to become one of those things! You know the infection is passed through saliva!" 63
"Captain…" 64
"And stop calling me captain, my name is Nyxi." She held up the dog tags as proof. "Nyxi Syke." Both were silent. "Please." She begged him. 65
He saw no way around it, she was right, she was dead either way, one option was just more desirable. "They'll hear the shot and want to know what happened." He said, one shot isn't enough to take care of a zombie, and amunition was precious.66
"Use the sword, quick, clean and silent." 67
"I could never look at it the same way again." He admitted. 68
"One swing." She said in a small voice, "Just one swing." 69
"For you." He said, emotion creeping into his voice.70
She turned around and heard the zing of his katana as her unsheathed it. "Asher just let me know one more thing, did you reach the base?" 71
"Yes." He said then thrust the sword through her chest.72
"Good." He heard her whisper the word in her last breath, believing that they still had a chance to get out of here alive. He didn't have the heart to tell her it was impossible. There was no escape. 73
"See you in the next life Nyxi." He whispered ripping the dog tags off her neck and placing them around his own.
"Alright team, line it up!" The girl was smaller then all of her team, but they gave her no trouble, she was dedicated, determined and most of al honorable. Her boys fell into place and she observed them, wondering once more what they had gotten themselves into. Her assembled force was one of few specially trained units with the one task of infiltrating Bourbon City. For the next year this battle ground was there new home. Few made it past the first few months. In all the years of it's quarantine little more then a hundred had been extracted once they were dropped off, no one ever met a survivor willing to talk about their encounter. Most of them were emergency pickups for the lucky survivors, none had ever lasted the full year and the most ever brought back from a single team was two people. Two people out of the normal five. The small apocalyptic city was worse then enemy territory and the success rate was minimal at best. There was nowhere safe, they had to get moving as soon as possible. 2
"Lycoris check the maps for and get that GPS up and running, you did bring a compass right? Trigger pass out the big guns, we're gonna need all the fire power we can get, all of you be on guard. Roser, I want antibiotics on had at all times, and Royale…is, is that a samurai sword?" 3
"Affirmative ma'am, it is." He fought back a smile but she could see it twitching at the corners of his mouth. 4
"Royale, might I ask why you have a samurai sword?" She was fighting back her annoyance as well as a smile. 5
"I always wanted to use it ma'am and what better time to try in out then in battle." He reasoned pulling the rest of it out of his bag, then securing it on to his back. 6
"Take a gun anyway." She muttered. "You boys ready?" She asked the others. 7
"Yes ma'am." They all saluted. 8
"Before we set out I want you to loosen the load, take only what we need. And guys, out here there is no rank, we're just friends." She broke into a smile and so did they. 9
They were a team of friends if there ever was one. They'd trained for years together before going on this mission. For a situation such as this strong bounds were both an asset and a hindrance. Nyxi was the leader, a girl slightly shorter then average with short cut brown hair and tree green eyes. The hunter green cargo pants and tank top fit her loosely and her dog tags swung freely around her neck. Asher Royale was the second in command, the boy with the need to bring along a razor sharp katana had the distinct look that marked Asian blood somewhere in his background. He had hair longer then the others, it was a inky black and rich chocolate brown eyes. Apollo Lycoris, the teams navigation expert and communications tactician, was an average built with a dirty blonde crew cut and stormy blue eyes. Callis Trigger was small but an artillery expert and engineer genius, he'd practically grown up with Brain Roser, the teams medical technician. Roser had a big heart and was the less muscled of the team, but one of the most important additions. He held a degree in medical science. 10
"Lock and load, we're moving out." Nyxi commanded shouldering a semi-automatic rifle and sticking .22 into the back of her pants. 11
{~::~}12
"Bring him in here!" Nyxi screamed the orders while firing off several shots from her hand gun. Asher grunted under the weight of Callis and Brian brought up the rear his gun firing the unseen enemy rapidly. They'd lost Apollo months ago and Trigger was suffering from a leg wound. 13
"Block the door!" Asher's voice was filled with a panic they had become all to familiar with over the time they'd spent in Bourbon City. Roser slammed the door shut and braced his back against a filing cabinet on one side of it. He grunted pushing it backwards so it came crashing down in front of their entrance and only exit. They'd taken hold in an one of the many abandoned city buildings, the room they were in now happened to be an office of a once ritzy business. 14
The team stood stock still weapons at the ready to fight off their pursuers should they break through the barricade. It was silent all except for the heavy breathing of the special operations team and the nightmarish moans coming form the other side of the door. 15
A heavy thud sounded from the door, one of the creatures must have thrown themselves against it in an attempt to get through. A shot rang out as Roser's nerves got the better of him and he'd fired. 16
Nyxi glared at him. "Calm down." She ordered, we're safe, "For now." 17
The group sat around, satisfied after watching the door for half an hour that they were in no immediate danger. Roser carefully cleaned and bandaged Callis's wound. Asher was taking guard and Nyxi was sitting in the glassless picture window of the office. Five stories up was too high for the monsters to climb. She watched another day die drown away in a blood red sunset and wondered routinely why they were here. 18
Sure at first it had seemed like a great deal. Spend a year in the dreaded Bourbon City and gain an instant wealth. There was no required quota to reach, no specific plan needed, they just needed to survive. Three months into the operation and surviving was a lot more difficult then it ever had been before. 19
The city below her looked like a sample of after humans. Buildings without windows, over turned car, weeds sprouting through cracks in the pavement, and not a living soul in sight. This place had no rules, strategy was useless and letting your guard down for even a moment was fatal. Everyone was always on edge, the smallest noise sent them into a frenzy, losing Apollo had made it worse. Losing him made it all real, this was dangerous, and they weren't as invincible as they'd first thought. What made it worse was worse was that they couldn’t bury him, there was no time. A shot to make sure he was dead, and would stay that way, and they'd left his body in the street, stomachs churning from the sounds in their wake. 20
"Hey captain, you alright?" Asher approached her. 21
"Just thinking Ash." 22
"About what?" He took a seat opposite her in the window. 23
"About them." She jerked her head in the direction below them, where a mangled figure walked the streets drunkenly. "About why we're here." 24
"Fortune, fame, glory." Ash laughed and stared down at the figure too. "That's why we came."25
"How stupid." She muttered. 26
"You're right we were stupid. Stupid and untouchable."27
Nyxi snorted. "They warned us." 28
"They did." He agreed. "Too bad we didn't listen. Who would of thought it would be so hard to kill the undead?" 29
"See that tower?" Nyxi pointed off into the distance a metal framed radio tower rose above the entire city a red light blinking like a beacon of hope. Asher nodded, "That's where we're heading. We need to get out of here. We radio for help there and have them pick us up." 30
"Didn't we try that?" Asher asked, right after Apollo's death they'd requested a pick up. No one had come. 31
"The signal was weak. They didn't get it." Nyxi muttered the lie over again. "We need to try it again." 32
{~::~}33
"Asher get to the radio we'll finish them off!" Nyxi screamed as she Roser and Trigger stood firmly in front of the door. 34
"I'll be right back." He nodded charging up the stairs to the tower's top, where the signal was strongest and the satellite phone would be waiting. 35
They had three of the foul creatures to take care of. Sure they were slow moving and small in numbers, it was just difficult to kill something the so blatantly refused to die, as most zombies did. Nyxi had gone through a whole clip in no time, they were still advancing. Trigger still walked with a limp even after a week of recovering, he was in the back, the captain and Roser protecting him. 36
Roser shot one straight on in the chest, two meaningless blows. They marched on. Such vile creatures the likes that were meant never to walk the earth again. They smelled horribly or death; rotting flesh and grime. The three let out another round of bullets. The mangled bodies of the once living walked through the hail as if it was nothing. Slack jawed and blank eyes, one even had a broken leg, twisted completely sideways he still dragged it along. They felt no pain, no compassion only an unyielding need to feed. Nyxi felt her breaths grow quicker in panic. Fighting such nightmares was never ending. 37
They arrived sooner then anticipated. Nyxi was firing rounds and slashing out with a knife trying to keep them back. Roser took out a needle of premature poison, a dosage lethal to two men was injected into the neck of one stopping it instantly. The might have been relentless but they weren't unstoppable. Nyxi thrust her dagger through the top of one of the remaining two's soft heads. An ooze to thick and discolored to be blood ran out. She pulled the blade out and slashed the zombie's throat for good measure. 38
"Roser, I got this covered, take Trigger and find Asher." She yelled. 39
Hearing them take off she turned to face her remaining opponent. She'd let too much of her guard down, ,she was cocky from the victories and now it was know where in sight. Mid turn she was tackled to the ground and there was an unpleasant pain in her shoulder. The creature barred down on top of her, teeth embedded in her flesh. 40
She struggled and managed at last to pull free, taking out her handgun and emptying it on the creature. The thing dead she clutched at the shoulder wound panting. She grimaced, knowing know what she'd have to do.41
{~::~}42
Ash hung up the phone the conversation ringing in his head. He couldn't believe it.43
'This is Lieutenant Asher Royale requesting an immediate pick up from Bourbon City.' he hadn't even given the person on the other end time to say a greeting. 44
'Royale, how'd you get through?'45
'Radio tower sir.' He'd responded dutifully. 'We're in bad shape, we've lost Apollo Lycoris we want out sir, as soon as possible.' 46
The other line was silent. 'I'm sorry Asher but we can't do that.' 47
His heart had stopped for a moment then. 'I'm sorry?' He was beyond baffled. 48
'Asher, once you're in Bourbon City there is no out.' 49
'But sir!' 50
'I'm sorry Ash but we can't risk someone carrying back the infection. You were sent to eliminate it not spread it.' 51
'Others,' He'd stuttered, 'You took others out!'52
'Others, Ash there are no others, no one leave Bourbon city alive. You can stay there in fight or we can bring you back in a body bag, if you even reach the pick up point. Your choice.' He'd hung up then, unable to listen to anymore. There was no escape. 53
Roser and Trigger appeared on the stairs, breathing heavily. "Where's Nyxi?" Was his automatic question. 54
"On her way." Trigger gasped, holding his side and grimacing at the stitch that had formed there. 55
"Stay here, I need to talk to her." He left without further explanation. 56
He met her at the door way, she lingered there unsure what to do, hand on the bloody shoulder wound. "Hey, Ash can we talk." She sounded off as she looked past him and to the sword hitched to his back. It had come in handy more then once over their stay. 57
"Yeah, sure captain." He followed as she lead him to a near by alley way. "What's wrong?" Something was up with her it was obvious. 58
The captain took her hand off the shoulder wound. "I have a favor to ask." 59
He saw the ragged teeth marks and sucked in breath sharply. He read her mind at this point. "No captain I couldn't." 60
"You have to." She muttered. "You have to, I don't want to become one of them. Kill me before it's too late." 61
"Captain I could never!" 62
"Ash, listen this is an order! I'm as good as dead now! I don't want to become one of those things! You know the infection is passed through saliva!" 63
"Captain…" 64
"And stop calling me captain, my name is Nyxi." She held up the dog tags as proof. "Nyxi Syke." Both were silent. "Please." She begged him. 65
He saw no way around it, she was right, she was dead either way, one option was just more desirable. "They'll hear the shot and want to know what happened." He said, one shot isn't enough to take care of a zombie, and amunition was precious.66
"Use the sword, quick, clean and silent." 67
"I could never look at it the same way again." He admitted. 68
"One swing." She said in a small voice, "Just one swing." 69
"For you." He said, emotion creeping into his voice.70
She turned around and heard the zing of his katana as her unsheathed it. "Asher just let me know one more thing, did you reach the base?" 71
"Yes." He said then thrust the sword through her chest.72
"Good." He heard her whisper the word in her last breath, believing that they still had a chance to get out of here alive. He didn't have the heart to tell her it was impossible. There was no escape. 73
"See you in the next life Nyxi." He whispered ripping the dog tags off her neck and placing them around his own.
Author notes
Hehe, I've wanted to write a zombie story for so long. Finished, although I'm still editing.
A contest entry
- Zombies! Fan's ONLY! by oOJohnOo.
400 points, ended September 13, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Show off your talent X3 by xSuicidalSuperstarx.
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Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Nawwww, so sad....... But it makes me think there's more to it. I mean, it can't just end with 'Hey, we're all gonna die. The end.' So it makes me want to know how on earth Royale, Roser and Trigger will get out of this mess. Surely at least Royale will survive...?
Very sad, that ending. Seriously lovin' the katana. Incredibly amusing, when it's first mentioned, and cool how it ends up coming in handy.
I wonder if they send small groups of soldiers in because they're experimenting somehow...? Cos Valkyrie is right; it doesn't quite make sense. Well, very nice zombie story ^^
Good work
Eph
. Rewarded 8
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Heh, thanks, I might add more at a later date, but I'm not sure. I guess it would be like a social/government experiment. haha, but you never know with the gov.
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Not My usual type of read but quite interesting nontheless...you write very well and make the reader feel as if they are there. Good...
. Rewarded 4
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Oh cool, a new twist on the old zombie standby. Nicely done. I like the whole futility of it by the end there. What a handy deal, the sword. Still, dude, I think they'd notice that her head got lopped off by a straight blade, rather than bitten to bits like the zombies...
I feel that the original premise, that small teams are sent in one at a time to try and kill the undead in an entire city, is really a bit unbelieveable though; a waste of fine military resources. Alas. But still, your story is still very entertaining. It looks like others have mentioned most of the typos and such that I saw so I'll not pester you with them.
. Rewarded 8
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Thanks, glad you liked it.
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the samuri sowd was a highy entertainly piece of randomness. Including that, the entire story was interesting. I would say entertaining, but there was death involved, and so cant really be entertaining. You made the characters seem really life-like, and yeah, all in all a good story. Keep up the good work
. Rewarded 6
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Thank you very much!
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most of al honorable. - typo on all
I like the addition of the samurai sword. It's random and made me smile.
of after humans. - it's an odd phrase. Perhaps it can be looked at again, though i understood the meaning.
no one leave Burbon city alive - leaves or left?
I liked it! Especially the ending. Which was sad, but it left me wondering how they would get out and wanting to read more. Well written and interesting to read. I only noticed those few typing errors that I commented on above, there may be more that I missed because its seven am, but yeah.

. Rewarded 8
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Thanks, glad you liked it.
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I like it!! I well written story for a well deserved gold trpy
but I did notice some errors...
in paragraph 10, you wrote 'this strong bounds were both an asset and a hindrance.' 'bounds' should be 'bonds'
in paragraph 14, you wrote 'They'd taken hold in an one of the many abandoned city buildings, the room they were in now happened to be an office of a once ritzy business' you don't need the 'an' after 'one'
paragraph 17, you wrote 'Nyxi glared at him. "Calm down." She ordered, we're safe, "For now." ' I think you misplaced the quotes, they should be before the 'we're' i believe (?)
Paragraph 20, you wrote 'What made it worse was worse was that they couldn’t bury him, there was no time' you have two 'worse was''s, you only need one.
paragraph 36, you wrote 'kill something the so blatantly refused to die' the 'the' should be 'that'
paragraph 37, you wrote 'Roser shot one straight on in the chest, two meaningless blows' there should be a comma (,) after 'on'. and 'They smelled horribly or death; rotting flesh and grime' the 'or' should be 'of'
paragraph 38, you wrote ' The might have been relentless but they weren't unstoppable' the first 'the' should be 'they'
and there were a lot of places that could have used commas, but great job, I loved the story, it kinda reminded me of the setting in Doomsday, except this was interesting and worth reading, lol, great job!!
-Your frienly neighborhood Dann (hehe)

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Hmm
I like it! Your take on fighting zombies with ancient japanese weapons was different but didn't take away from it. Great job. -
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Yeah, I have a werid obsession with Japanese weaponry. Thanks for reading!
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