" I can't understand "

Darkness thoughts embrace me ,,,I can't control myself ...1

I can't stop the blood ,,2

I can't stop the pain .......3

Unloved as a child .. alone and sad ....What should I do ..? I 'm bleeding in rage ,the jelousie for love ..the hate for the same feeling itself ... ...4

I have been denied for so long my true nature ....WHY..? and the answer is in front of my face...cutting and raping the good virtues left..5

I'm two different persons with the same face .......the kind one ..and the dark one ......6

My desires  are strongest ....both of then ...good and evil but, what way should I take..?7

The feeling of the blaze in my skin make so insane ...I'm smiling with pain I'm cry in pleasure ...8

I promise not to hurt my self .Not for love to someone 'cause of my on sake.......but, I can't stop .....crying in pleasure of my disgrace ....I think I get use to the pain ...If I don't felt it ......I'm nothing ..just the pain remain me I'm  alive..9

even with all the darkest cores...in the labyrinth of my soul10

even with all the peaceful thoughts.... in the gardens of my soul11

the emotions inside burn me alive ........12

fading away the pain with more pain..,I know is crazy I'm mentally insane ..13

I just can't accept ...the unthinkable14

I just don't understand..why I fail...15

Someone help me ....16

is not the first time 17

I ask for help...18

but, maybe someone will really care....19

until that moment ..20

I will bleed my flesh...21

I will be in darkness....22

I'll be alone trying to coexist with my own-self ........23

This is the story of my own pain .....bitterly stupid ... darkly insane ..emotions inside my head , my heart and soul......I don't ask for your pity....I'm just want to express this turmoil and quench emotions inside my flesh.....24