The Fall of the Keeper (Poetry)

Keeper
 
The Fall of the Keeper
 
A new day breaks; and I-
I wake up to noises in my mind.
"I'm awake!" "I'm awake!"
I say unto myself.1

My grove is my dwelling,
And I, am its Keeper.
The Keeper may be ancient,
But the ancients survive.2

My steps are small, weary.
But my mind wanders,
Meandering through the wood,
The Keeper stands alert.3

An ancient evil has survived,
That needs to be exorcised.
Moonbeams grace upon the guilty
And the innocent alike.4

Another day comes to a grinding halt.
My grove stands-
Blessed it is, by the Divine.
And stand it will, for the Keeper watches.5

The night falls,
My angst will burn and keep me aware,
By the temple of the Damned,
The Uncleans stand, ready to strike.6

And the coil of death wraps around,
For I stand alone, however ready.
The pact of death has been sealed...
But my soul remains, poised to chastise; for Glory!
 
--Kartz

Author notes

Image location: http://media.photobucket.com/image/fantasy%20city/misshatake/Fantasy/wehlanarmenia.jpg?o=9

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • Kagamine Rin
    September 26, 2008

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    Very... Dark, very chilling. I like the nocturnal ideal it has for it. Very well written. I love it.

    Thanks for entering my contest and I wish you luck.


  • Valkyrie silver member
    September 7, 2008

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    Mmm, cool quiet nocturnal woods. Your imagery was not heavy; the words you used created in my mind a very specific picture; I only wish you had written more! It sounds wonderful, deep and gripping.
    Thanks for entering it in my contest.


  • Fritz O skennick
    September 5, 2008

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    Deep, dark & beautifully penned...

    Fantastic!!!
    Loving the darkness here...
    Again, a great descriptive narrative, rhythm & flow that had me enthralled throughout...
    Also great wordplay/use/choice...
    Another outstanding write...
    Well done!!!

    • Kartz
      September 5, 2008

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      Thank you...

      ... for your kind words. They sure are big, and I hope to live up to them again.


      • Fritz O skennick
        September 5, 2008
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        No probs, it was my pleasure...

        And thank you also...
        Take care,
        Fritz.........


  • tsavo gold member
    September 4, 2008

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    Wow really great writing and very inspiring. Exceptional. Wish i had your talent.Really captured me and now makes me wanting more.

    • Kartz
      September 4, 2008
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      Thank you...

      You say big words, my friend. You do have the talent within you. All you need is belief, and faith. Give it your best, and the world is yours! Remember, sky is your limit- excellence is your watchword.

      Peace.


  • Sgs
    September 4, 2008
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    I love it

    All the elements are here-- lyrical, well constructed, the feeling of darkness and mystery -- that can draw one into a poem. Great job!

    • Kartz
      September 4, 2008
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      Thank you! I relate two lines about the moon here with what you had written. Actually, I as about to mention it on your page when you posted this comment.

      • Sgs
        September 4, 2008

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        My moon one is so much simpler than this! I have often thought I should expand that poem into something deeper. But thank you for your sweet words!

  • jeremymiller
    September 4, 2008

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    Good Stuff

    This is a great example of the fantasy poem of which I have seen so few. It reminds me a little of Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came. It was the poem that inspired Stephen King's Dark Tower series (we can thank it for the first 4 and blame it for the last three). Anyway, I thought it was great as is but I also felt like there may be more to mined out of the character and scene. I wanted more, but then maybe that's good thing.

  • Strak
    September 4, 2008

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    This was simply superb. Amazing description, and it goes very well with the picture! The way you have woven it around the picture is wonderful... I like the way the lines wind around the Keeper. Any plans to write a sequel?

    Keep it up...

    • Kartz
      September 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      No plans as yet.. Glad you liked it...


  • Much-Dipstick
    September 4, 2008

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    Amazing! I loved how this seemed to tell a story (unless that's just me being weird). It was amazing. I wish I could spotlight this too ! Your poems are unlike anything I've ever read. Fantastically done, completely smooth and so fluid it's impossible to tell where the seams to the work are. Brilliant job! I have little experience with poetry, though I used write a little myself (I only ever posted one though) but in my opinion, I have never read better poems. You have such talent. Keep writing! I look forward to reading more!

    • Kartz
      September 4, 2008
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      You're not weird...

      The beauty of writing lies in how a reader is able to perceive what has been written. There have been occasions when I have misinterpreted someone's writing. But then, that's just another way of looking at it. Right/Wrong is relative... What's right for me, may not be the same with you.

      So, nothing to feel weird. Thanks for reading. In a way, yes, I have tried to spin a tale.


  • Kirin
    August 30, 2008

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    Great poem dude!!! A cliffhanger! Hope the Keeper wins.. Congrats on your winning the medal of Honor!!


  • WolfSpiritMia
    August 29, 2008

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    Nice job! You wrote this exceptionally well. The picture went well with the poem ^^ You can get a strong image in your head thanks to the details you provided. Great read and good luck with the contest! Smile

    • Kartz
      August 29, 2008
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      Thank you...

      Won an honorable mention. Thanks for your wishes!


  • dyslexic writer gold member
    August 28, 2008

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    Excellent!

    I loved that picture and it was a perfect match too.

    You did a great job. Your details and emotion were very powerful.

    Lynn

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Hellcat Metal
    August 28, 2008

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    I love this poem. It was beautifully written and seems a bit dark, which I like.

    I like this line a lot - "Moonbeams grace upon the guilty
    And the innocent alike." I love when people make something that can be seen but not felt or smelled a part of a poem. It's a description of nature reacting with humans. I love it. Great job on this; It was a wonderful read. Thanks for entering the contest!

    By the way, I like the picture that you chose for this from my list. It goes with the poem well.

    • Kartz
      August 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you...

      Glad you liked it. It was a pleasure taking part in your contest. Thanks for making it happen!

      Peace.

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