Your eyes started it all

One look into your eyes and i'm lost,1

Captivated by the lingering softness and beauty they behold,2

With the endless depths that can be seen with in their colours of mistique,3

Hiding your soul,4

Drawing me onto a perfect picture of swirled secrets of lost passion and hiden lust,5

Stealing the very air right from my lungs,6

Drawing me in further into the shadows of your mind causing me to forget all about the dissapointment in the reality i wish to escape,7

Throw me into my world full of secrets and mystery, 8

Completely lost like a boat at sea,9

While your smile slowly sinks in leaving a shimmering image of your sweet angelic beauty on my mind sending me into the most beautiful state of day dreaming,10

Imagining the things i can only wish for, 11

In these your mine just as i am your's, 12

You hold me so close, 13

So tender that tears treaten to spill over the edge of my eyes of blue,14

I dream of your soft lips caressing every inch of my skin,15

Your fingers gently trickling down my back like water gently washing all my worries away, 16

Washing over me,17

Sending small burning sensations of pleasure running through me like the sun shines through my hair when exposed to it's light, 18

It's warmth nearly as close to the warmth of your genuine cuddles of tenderness.19

I wish i didn't have to sleep for you to be mine.

Author notes

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Comments


  • Killmemylove
    August 27
    Edit | Reply
    ill try fix it a bit


  • Radiance
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, wow... This piece has incredible imagery and similes.

    The first line drew me in; I've known that feeling all too well, and it made me very interested to see what the rest of the piece would be like. I was surprised by the end of it--you use very vivid descriptions through similes, and it works.

    The last line was the one with the most impact on me. It's so powerful, even though it's not nearly as long as some of the earlier ones. I suppose I hadn't been expecting the whole thing to be a dream....

    At the beginning of every line, the first word should be capitalized. Also, watch out for random typos. There were some minor spelling errors that were probably made while you were writing, but for the most part, this area of your writing was pretty good.

    Thank you for sharing.