the shorty

I screamed 'God-Damn' earlier today.1

And then I sat there for ten minutes, not breathing more than I absolutely had to (which still felt like way too often), waiting for a bolt of lightening to materialize out of no where and smite me where I stood.2

Of course, I should have realized that God would not smite me while I was sitting, still in my pajamas in and in my bed, sometime close to noon. 3

But that's not how my mind works. 4

I dream in pages of text; tiny, eight-point font streaming across an endless screen.5

The background's either a faded picture (sometimes black and white), or a silent film that was shot just out of focus.6

Maybe that's why I wake up so tired in the mornings.7

Maybe that's why I can't seem to concentrate on just one thing.8

That's just how my mind works.

A contest entry

Thoughts anyone?

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • loyda
    August 29

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    hahaha

    looks like you took the expression, 'don't curse or God'll struck you by lightning!' too seriously.

    that's weird, how you dream!

    my dreams are usually a bunch of nonsense, and then at the end, i usually fall of a cliff or something, and i see myself falling and then splatting in the ground in a mess of blood and hair. (cool, huh?)

    i liked this a lot! good luck!


  • Out-Of-Eden
    August 27

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    "I screamed 'God-Damn' earlier today. And then I sat there for ten minutes.."

    I laughed hard at that. Ah yeah, I liked this. I love when people express themselves naturally and don't try and avoid how they feel. We express our emotions and how we feel. That's what distinguishes us writers from others right?

    "I dream in pages of text; tiny, eight-point font streaming across an endless screen." - LOVE that.

    Good job. I liked.


  • Quixotic Greeters member
    August 27
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    great job! Finalist...here you come


  • Rhubarb
    August 27

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    Well done, this is really good writing. You brought me right in at the beginning and didn't let go. Well done, you write with lots of description and emotion.

  • cookiesforme
    August 27

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    the first line is very effective in creating interest and the detail "eight-point font..." adds texture to this piece.


  • lexiconsthedevil
    August 27

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    this is fucking fantastic! sry to your other writing but this brought goose bumps to my skin! this is amazing. it had so much, almost too much to handle, in such a short piece. it is truly a work of art!!! go shorty!!!!!


    • the shorty
      August 27
      Edit | Reply
      Wow, thanks guys! But the real credit goes to Rian for creating the contest!

1 - 7 of 7