Milla-Chapter 1 {Rewrite}

August 25, 20071

My name is Milla Verona and I’m fifteen years old. This is the first entry in this notebook that I started writing because the old one ran out of pages. I decided to write in this diary everyday for the next year or at least until I run out of pages so I can look back on everything that went on in my life. Maybe one day, I can get this diary published and it’ll be a best-seller. But right now, I’m writing in this because writing is my hobby and I have nothing else better to do. 2

I live in a small apartment complex with my father Patrick Verona and his fiancé, soon to be wife and my step-mother named Sherry. Our apartment complex is located right outside a busy street that most has traffic and lots of red lights. Besides the street, we live near other apartment complexes and small general stores and a post-office. In our place, we have five rooms and only one floor; one kitchen, one bathroom, one living room, and two bedrooms. We have just about have everything we could need except for money. 3

My father is unable to work because of a condition he has. I forget which one it is but I definitely know he has one because I remember hearing the doctor tell my father. Sherry is too lazy and messed up to get herself a good job. I don’t know why my father is with this woman. She doesn’t do anything except complain. I don’t get what he sees in her. Maybe it’s something that you just can’t see. Maybe it’s deep down inside her. I don’t know, really. But all I know about her is that she’s stuck up, nice to my father, she’s pretty, and she hates me. It’s not really a shock to me that she hates me. I hate her as well.4

Ever since Sherry came into our lives two years ago, I tried my very best to be very pleasant and kind around her. I never said anything mean to her so I didn’t get why she was so cruel to me. If it wasn’t for my father giving me threats, I wouldn’t have been nice to her. But I did anything my father told me to. After all, I didn’t want his threats to be put into action. My father’s threats were always the same. He’d threaten to punish me with his belt if I disrespected Sherry. My father was never abusive. He never hit me and I hardly did anything for him to punish me until Sherry came along. 5

Sherry would turn my father against me because she didn’t like me that much. She could tell my father never wanted to punish me because I barely did anything wrong and he didn’t want to hurt me. One night when I went out with a couple friends, I came home past midnight. My curfew was midnight and no later. I came home a half hour afterwards. Sherry thought that I was going to be in a lot of trouble for disobeying but she thought wrong. My father confronted me and told me, 6

“Next time you better come on time or you’ll be in trouble.” 7

I told him that I understood and he let me off. This made Sherry mad so she talked to my father and talked him into changing his mind about letting me off the hook for once. She was very good at making my father change his mind about anything that involved me in it. In the end, she would always win. 8

I still don’t understand why she hates me. Maybe it’s because she’s not the only girl in my father’s life. She is madly in love with my father; kind of like how Harley Quinn loves the Joker. Well, sort of anyway. She’s probably jealous that she has to share him with me. 9

Tonight, the both of them are fighting once again. They’re fighting in the living room while I’m in my bedroom with the door closed. I can hear them both screaming and shouting at each other. I nearly cringe as I write this because of how my father’s voice startles me when he screams. I hate it when they fight. Usually, their fights start off as small arguments but then they suddenly turn into screaming matches. Why can’t they not fight at all? 10

They always fight about the same thing every night. Sherry starts off complaining about me and then my father defends me. Right before the fight is over, Sherry gets him to agree with him on whatever she said. And sometimes, that’s a very bad thing. Last time, I ended up getting punished by cleaning the entire house. I wasn’t allowed to stop until everything was sparkling clean. There was no complaining coming from me so I gritted my teeth and did what I had to do. Sherry had a laugh out of that one. 11

I get off my bed and open up my door just a crack to hear their fight much clearly. I can be a bit curious at times. The fight is about me so I should at least get to know what’s being said about me. 12

“That bitch of a daughter of yours hasn't brought in the money we need! She knows that we need that money now and we can't wait!" Sherry yells out loud to my father. 13

"I'm sorry Sherry but what do you want me to do about it? She's working her ass off for me! For the both of us! She's doing her very best, Sherry. At least be grateful that she brings in some money." My father defends me. 14

"Well, tell that bitch to start working harder." She says to him. 15

"First off, she's not a bitch! Milla is my daughter! I can't tell her to start working harder because she can't! She simply can't!" He shouts. 16

"I know Patrick, but we really need that money. Just force her to work on Saturday and Sunday and work overtime on the weekdays to earn extra cash." She states. 17

"She works about seven hours a day on weekdays. If she works more than seven hours a day, she's gonna be more exhausted than she already is. And you can't take away her weekends. The girl needs something to look forward to." He says. "Why don't you work also? I would but I'm unable to."18

"You know I'm unable to work. I will not work under the same profession as your daughter does. It's a horrible job to do." She nearly yells. 19

"I will not force her to work anymore than she already does. I know you want to keep using but we have to think about Milla here. I already hate this fucking idea of forcing her to fuck men she doesn't even know just to earn her father and his girlfriend some money so they can keep using. I never should have listened to you!" He shouts. 20

"Oh don't act so innocent! You wanted her to do this just as much as I wanted to! Just admit it Patrick! You rather have her going out fucking strange men instead of one of us getting a job! Admit it!" She yells.21

The fight continues for another five minutes. My father and his fiancé are junkies and have no intentions of not using heroin anymore. Dad got Sherry into heroin and ever since then, that’s where most of our money goes towards. No wonder why we barely have enough money. No jobs and wasting money on heroin. Forget about what I said about them not having jobs. I have a job. It’s the most horrible job ever and it shouldn’t even be allowed. In fact, fathers should forbid their daughters in having a job like it. 22

About a year ago, Sherry talked my father into making me get a job. She told him that the men who were hiring would be willing to pay us the amount of money that we need each day which was one hundred dollars a day and every two days, the amount would double or triple. My father forced me to become a prostitute because his bitch of a fiancé talked him into it. Sometimes, I wonder what kind of a father he is to force me to sell my teenaged body to earn him some money. I hate this job but if I refused to do my job, my father and Sherry would be more than royally pissed off. 23

I feel that my father no longer loves me. I also feel that the only reason why he loves me now is because I’m out getting him money for heroin. That is the only time I feel loved. I come from work, take out the money I earned, and hand it to my father. He takes the money from me, flashes me a warm smile, and says, “Thank you sweetheart. I love you.” Then, he kisses me on the cheek and tells me again how much he loves me. 24

For some reason, I feel that when he tells me he loves me, he doesn’t mean it anymore. When I was a little girl, he used to tell me how much me loved me ten times a day. He would even prove it to me. I used to love spending time with him and having him hold me in his warm and strong arms. His breath would smell like nicotine because he’s a smoker. When Sherry came into our lives, our relationship changed for worse a little bit. I wish that he would love me more and spend more time with me. 25

But those times are gone. 26

“Milla! Get out here now!” My father’s screaming shakes me out of my thoughts. 27

Instantly, I opened up the door more and bolted out of the room and into the living room. There was my father and Sherry; standing in the middle of the living room. Both of them looked angry. Sherry was angry at me but I couldn’t tell who my father was angry at. 28

“Yes Daddy?” I answer him. 29

“You brought home money today, right?” He questions me. 30

“Yes.” I nod my head. 31

“How much?” He asks 32

“One hundred dollars.” I answer.33

“Milla, you were supposed to bring home two hundred today. Why didn’t you get the bonus?” He says. 34

“I know but I refused to give Paul a blow job. He was hurting me. I’m sorry Daddy. I know how much you need the money for everything. It won’t happen again, I promise.” I explain myself to him. 35

My fathers sighs and with anger and regret all over his face, he turns to look at Sherry before telling me, “Well, you're gonna have to work extra hours Monday through Friday and then you have to work some time on Saturday and Sunday. The next time you don’t bring home the full amount of money you’re supposed to get, your ass is gonna get the belt. Do you understand me young lady?” More regret is washed all over his face as he turns to face me. He hates being strict towards me and giving me punishments that involves him hitting me. He has never hit me before and I know that he will never do so. 36

I want to protest against having to work more but I shut my mouth about it. I don’t want to cause anymore problems. “Yes, I understand.” I tell him before I go back into my room just as my father pulls out a cigarette, lights it, and starts to smoke it. 37

To be continued…38