CHAPTER 21
Now don't get me wrong or anything,2
I love our heavenly father. I could not love him any less. Yes, there are times I feel like.3
I want too die, and that I want to give up. Life, could never be that bad. Even though seven years ago. I went down that road, because my husband told me that night. "He did not care if, I lived or died" 4
So, I chose death. I knew that's what he wanted. Why, would he want someone like me anyhow? I am this women who has to walk out in the pubic looking, like I do. Tumors on my face, tumors on my hands, they're all over. I can see why, people would want people dead that looks like me...5
Nobody, should have this disease. Nobody should have to live like this.6
It's hell. Nobody would really know unless they have it. People may always say "Oh I know how you feel" But you don't....7
One day though, I know there will be help for us NF patience, then we would know, how it feels to be normal, and also to feel it. That's one of my dreams. I have had so many surgeries done, trying to look better, trying to impress everyone else. I will tell you though, it really did not help. I still feel as, I am ugly, I still feel that I am unwanted, I feel all of this.8
I want to be normal, that's why, I did all that.9
10Now don't get me wrong or anything,2
I love our heavenly father. I could not love him any less. Yes, there are times I feel like.3
I want too die, and that I want to give up. Life, could never be that bad. Even though seven years ago. I went down that road, because my husband told me that night. "He did not care if, I lived or died" 4
So, I chose death. I knew that's what he wanted. Why, would he want someone like me anyhow? I am this women who has to walk out in the pubic looking, like I do. Tumors on my face, tumors on my hands, they're all over. I can see why, people would want people dead that looks like me...5
Nobody, should have this disease. Nobody should have to live like this.6
It's hell. Nobody would really know unless they have it. People may always say "Oh I know how you feel" But you don't....7
One day though, I know there will be help for us NF patience, then we would know, how it feels to be normal, and also to feel it. That's one of my dreams. I have had so many surgeries done, trying to look better, trying to impress everyone else. I will tell you though, it really did not help. I still feel as, I am ugly, I still feel that I am unwanted, I feel all of this.8
I want to be normal, that's why, I did all that.9
I am not even normal, in my own families eyes.
12Now living my life, I will have too tell you. It's been a living hell. There are times that I cry myself to sleep,
13But nobody is ever around to help stop these tears, that I have night after night. Even the one person that I care about in this world does not even know that I am alive. Now that does hurt. Another thing that hurts me the most, is living here with someone. Who hates me so much, someone who wants me dead and gone. He use to beat me in the past. He use to think he could rule me, I did not allow that for long.
14He still tries to tell me, what I can do
16And I can't. I swear he thinks he is my father but he isn't. This man could not even show me how he cared.
17All, I ever end up with our people, who do not care. Maybe this is why, I cannot end up with the one that I do love. Maybe it is that he just cares to much to be with me. And he knows that we would both be hurt. He also knows though, that I am not well and I will soon be dead from this disease.
18I am just guessing though,
20I am not sure. Hell, it could always be that he hates me. That's nothing new either.
21I can sit here all night, long telling you how I wish I could be different. But sooner or later this is going come to an end. So here is where I am going to thank you for reading Chapter one and Chapter two of this short little story
22
Adding your comment:
But now that you know you are going to die you still have a few choices about how you are going to live your last years...
