Tears in Heaven

On the first day that I was dragged to the state prison, I tormented myself with the memories of my own mistakes. The questions that tumbled through my scarred mind left me in a broken sanctuary that blocked out the catcalls and jeers of the onlookers. Agonized by recollections, I searched for every crack that let failure drip in like the tears that broke away from my heart. His perfect face, veiled by blood, stared up unseeingly in a defeated terror at his murder's tranquil expression. I hoped his flawless existence was surrounded by angels of mercy now.1

A voice shrieked through my pain-filled thoughts, a single scream of protest that echoed through the choked silence. "Why? Why did you kill them? What the hell did they ever do to you? You think you rule the world, while you lie penniless upon the ground. You *bunny*!" You could easily hear the broken glass of fury that resonated in her voice. I slowly turned my head toward the screams of venom and carefully stepped over the rotten, dripping fruit, despite my shackles toward the hysteric woman. I answered smoothly as I tried to keep the tremble out of my warped voice and picked y words carefully, innocently as if I was only picking berries for a pie.
"I had no choice, if you were paralyzed between life and death, you would have done the same." Anger seeped from her like perspiration as a bitter hiss escaped her parched lips. She grimaced and slowly shook her head, her blond hair streaked with dirt and ragged as the wind ruffled her tattered cloths. She looked at me with disdain as I turned away form the shrieks of anger influenced by disbelief to approach the stone jail steps. A low growl hissed menacingly behind me, and I whirled around to face her once more. She bared her crooked, yellow teeth at me and spit at my feet, the sound echoing like a slap. I spun around and almost tripped against my steel binding in a sudden haste to be alone with my whirling thoughts. In my escape, I had caught the appalled glare of a woman with two toddlers who both held their pert little noses against the decayed, hopeless smell of the prison. The woman pulled the children closer to her as they clutched at her denim skirt and backed away from my stare in evident terror. 2

Then everything hit me at once, the accusations, the hatred, the fear. It was true that they believed I had killed the nightmare tormenting my every waking moment. But they also believed that I had murdered the love of my life...