Memories

When I was little, I used to run away from home. Not far of course, just to the bottom of the driveway, where I would sit in our big tree. I always knew my mum would come out, tell me she loves me and take me back inside. But this one time, it didn’t quite work out that way.1

I was upset, as usual, as I was probably a bit of trouble. I did my routine, cried, ran outside and down to the tree. I knew, or thought I did, that my mum would be out here soon and do her part of my routine. I sat there for about five minutes, and my curiosity got the better off me.  I started walking back to the sliding door. I saw my mum and sister sitting in the kitchen, and realised my mum wasn’t going to do her usual. I guess I gave up, and tried to open the door. It was locked.2

My heart sank. I don’t know why it upset me so much but seeing my family in there without me made me feel like an outcast. Then it hit me, and I smiled. The other door. I ran around the house, laughing to myself for being so foolish. But then, as I grabbed the doorknob, I shook it and my heart sunk. Maybe my mum didn’t really love me? 3

I sat on our front step and felt my eyes fill with tears. I felt so alone, because change in our routine had never happened before and it scared me. It took me by surprise, and now I didn’t know what to do. Was I destined to live my life on the streets?4

I ran around to the glass door again and started banging on it, crying. My sister turned and saw me, and like most sisters would, she smiled, and giggled. 5

But my mother, got up, walked to the door and let me in. She reached out and held me while I cried. I remember feeling so relieved that my future as a child on the streets was no more, but I never did try our routine again. 6

This seems so stupid, reading it now. I look back and laugh at myself. But at the time, I felt unloved and as though my world was falling. This may seem over the top, but I was a dramatic child, who has grown into a dramatic teenager, and that’s who I am, and will be for the rest of my life.7