Rhiannon strolled down the elusive path dragging her tiny feet on the worn dirt. The moon was a small crescent bitten in the sky and left among the stars and other extraterrestrial objects. The wind blew from uphill filling her nose with a mineral like scent of river water. Another gush of air came soaring through the dark green trees and past the small woodland animals. It still contained the River's scent but there was another stronger aroma rising in her nasal cavities. Rhiannon recognised the sweet, strong, iron like smell immediately and had to hold herself against a tree to stop herself from running towards the source. Her body had been neglected the iron for so long and her Diabetes was overreacting to the sugary, sweet, crimson liquid. Her mouth became dry and salty. Gently letting go of the huge Aspen she used for support she calmly followed the scent. Her journey didn't take her far and soon she arrived at a dark cave hidden by the shadows of trees and large boulders. Among these shadows was a darkness that stood out from all the rest. It was darker and moved the tiniest bit. She moved closer to get a better look. Her vision enhanced suddenly when a gust of blood poisoned air rushed past her. In her surprise she stumbled back and fell down on a small stone. The dark figure looked up from the shadows revealing a demon like face to Rhiannon's glossy eyes. It's thin mouth twisted and produced an almost wicked growl reverberating through the woods surrounding the scene. The creature moved a pace forward showing it's dark brown fur covered body and six legs with extended silver claws. The monster licked it's mouth's opening and shoved it's front fangs forward. The canines sparkling like diamonds in the dim moonlight. It took another step and Rhiannon quickly stood on her shaking legs, knees wobbling about with fear and she waved her arms in the air attempting to scare the supposed animal away. The creature's ears pinned back and it let out a low mocking cry stepping even closer now only about five feet away. Now with a closer see Rhiannon saw the monster had not only six feet and gigantic canines but also four bob tails, two other mouth openings on the sides of it's face, and long jagged spikes poking through the rough looking coat of the animal. The mouths were covered in a dark liquid that resembled a bluish red alcoholic drink her mother ordered at Tom's Bar and Grill, but she knew this wasn't a cancer causing beverage. This was the life support of a helpless animal that probably stood no chance, as she, in defending against this beast that haunted people's sleep. In all her thinking and observing she had failed to see the monster was now only a mere yard away. It's eyes were cristalized over by lust and it's teeth and claws were fully visible. Rhiannon knew her fate and took the last moments of her life to pray for her unforgivable sins. She folded her short arms over her chest and shut her eyes and the doors of her mind only speaking to her religious figure. In the middle of a long confession Rhiannon felt the trembling of the ground and opened her eyes just seconds before three plate sized paws crashed into her stomach and chest. her heart stopped and then started again weak and suddenly tired. She hit the ground, a few rocks stabbing through the pale skin on her back and legs producing more of the intoxicating red fluid. Her eyes fixed on the beast's own terrifying orbs in the last moments of her life before the creature bit into the side of her exposed neck reaching the vital arteries bleeding to death in mere seconds her brick colored blood coating the chocolate colored floor beneath her and the horrific animal.
Author notes
#5 but I changed it alot.
A contest entry
- Pimp My Paragraph by Valkyrie.
335 points, ended August 27, 12 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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You're very vivid with your descriptions; thanks for sharing such a dramatic paragraph! There were a few places where the story's flow wasn't as smooth, but other than that--oh, and the brick colored and chocolate colored repetition in the very last sentence--it was nicely written, and fleshed out (ahaha) well.
Thanks for entering my contest, and good luck!

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"her body had been neglected the iron..." this phrase is a bit confusing.same with "Now with a closer see..." and "helpless animal that probably stood no chance, as she, in defending against thsi beast that haunted people's sleep."
cristalized->crystalized.
Other then that, great description. You really threw a lot into a very short piece. I like it.


