Ancients Embrace

Held and embraced by hungers grip1

Tasting the sensual residue on my lips2

On the ground a few scattered tears3

Crystallized lifeblood you have shared4

With the glow in your eyes has fading5

Dull and lifeless almost beyond saving.6

You were innocent and willing7

I found your ignorance so filling8

Now you lay broken and twisted9

You never fought or even resisted10

The taste was so sensual and divine11

Velvety smooth molten red wine.12

I could just leave you there as you lay13

Let the last of your essence drain away14

Leave you to the carrion and crows to feed15

Walk away and leave you to fertilize the weeds16

But you gave yourself willingly and to me freely17

Excepting the possibility of endless death completely.18

I hold your soul imprisoned within my frozen heart19

Held by ice shackles, that only I can break apart20

Yet why then do I hesitate? Is it because I am the last?21

The last true blood, an ancient breed from the past,22

I could give her life… but would she want such a fate,23

I know she loved me, but is she truly my soul mate?24

She is on the brink; a decision now I must make25

To let her drift away into deaths realm never to awake26

Or embrace her and let her drink deep from within27

Free her from the shackles of mortality and human sin.28

When I gazed into her eyes, I saw only love29

A want deeper than gods anger and rage above30

We are forbidden to enter the gates of heaven31

If we do die then oblivion is to be our haven32

Yet her eyes showed me she still wanted this33

I felt her desire deeply when I brushed her lips with a kiss.34

More to come...35

By Kindredblood36

Author notes

I have been writing this for a long time its driving me nutz
It started out as a poem, ryming all the way, and that is where I am having trouble now...trying to keep to the story I have been building and to the flow and ryme.
But I hit a brickwall, due to the length I was reaching...and dam hard it is to rymes this long without sounding forced
I have split the poem in half and added it in the stories section as it falls under both catorgories..
Please tell me what you think so far, Im really fighting to finish this...or to be more honest struggling lol to find words to ryme

What did you think? Please comment!

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Morbid Poetic
    March 17, 2005
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    Oh Woe is the contortion of Emotion

    You are my new favorite... ma i inquire as to your age and with that may i add you to my favorite list?

    ~What a peice that made me enchanted
    Like a musk that led me along
    almost to the point of incaptivation
    Deterializing in the point of your wake
    Feed me with you philosphical write
    put lyric to that of an ordinary morning~

    you inspiread me to write this... Great Job

  • cherche -d -ame
    March 16, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Love , darkness and depth in this ....and now the never ending frustration to bring it to a second part. I loved this , and i am sure inspiration will come out of the clear blue...please let me know ( as I would love to see how you worked it out )
    xoxo
    Reenie

  • cherche -d -ame
    March 16, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Love , darkness and depth in this ....and now the never ending frustration to bring it to a second part. I loved this , and i am sure inspiration will come out of the clear blue...please let me know ( as I would love to see how you worked it out )
    xoxo
    Reenie


  • scintillescence
    March 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is really great. It drew me right in from the beginning with all the imagery, and the rhymes were wonderful! I know it must be hard to come up with them. Ok well, I'm going to go read the next part now because the anticipation is getting to me!
    Becky

  • -Silenced Dreams-
    March 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Ohhh very nicely done. I really love this one, its beautifully done, gentle and simple intriguing. The imagry is perfect, I could see it all playing in my mind, me's on to read the next part now.

  • HoPeMC
    March 7, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    ness

    So intresting and intiguing. Its almost like you are there I dont say this of many poems. I really truly enjoyed it.


  • Goddess Of Darkness
    March 7, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    omg i love this story.....its so full of your thoughts......i cannot sufice in words alone on how much I love it.... wow....i could see you writing a novel one day. I cant wait to see more of your stories.

  • Lilithtornintwo
    March 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    beautifully written! It just flows with so much grace and the imagery is stunning.The rhyming doesnt sound forced at all for the most part. I'd love to read the ending!

  • BreakingFree
    March 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    this is really good dont worry about the length or the rhyming. i like the poem tho cuz it flows well and the rhymes arent the best but it still works lol some of mine have the worst rhymes ever but its still good. well anyways this is a great write


  • ourhouse62
    March 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    awesome

    this is a poem that left me in awe, i love how it flows and definately look forward to reading the second half! keep writing!

  • gothicebony
    March 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    deep

    I really love this. It shows how dark love can be for some people. It is so deep, I read it through twice, I could really feel all the emotions in the poems as if I could understand what the characters were doing.
    Thanks, Christie xxx


  • DeadlyPoison
    March 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is really beautiful, and it takes my breath away. I love the way you rhymed and the smooth words you used. I truly hope the next one comes out soon, since i dearly adore this. It has so much depth, and really awoke my souls eyes, and opened them up so clearly. My mind got drifted to the surroundings of the story, and I felt like I was really there, and in their presentence. It really swept my feet off the ground, and I mean the with all my heart. The words came out of the computer and swirled around me, my thoughts, and mind, my soul, and my room. I am totally speachless.

    This really enlightened my spirits. Thank-you. Love yaz, love allz

    XxX I applaud thee XxX
    Edited on Mar 06, 10:06 because ''.

  • LdyBrknWing
    March 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I like this; a lot! It's very chilling, and so very real! I know the frustration you're feeling over this. I wrote a really (really) lengthy poem, last Oct; a rhyming story/poem, as well, and it is very difficult to maintain the rhyme, without sacrificing the story. You can do it, but it does take time! This first part was awesome! I know the rest that follow will be every bit as good! I agree with Natari Moon; have faith in your work. Trust your gift! You'll no doubt surprise yourself! Excellent write!
    Paula


  • Calentice
    March 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful and yet it hits a cord. It's a harsh reminder of how painful love can be.

  • LastChild22
    March 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is awesome. Lots of imagery really brings the poem to life. Also, it flows really well. I am looking forward to the next part of the poem.

    By the way, thanks for commenting on my poem =)
    Edited on Mar 06, 7:38 because ''.

1 - 15 of 15