Maze:my life

Yay Life! -.-
August 10 20081

I am so sick of people! My best friend finally got out of the hospital. Her anorexia is really getting to the point it's annoying. I knew she needed help but now it's like she's doing it more for attention than anything to be honest i'm sick of dealing with her in general. She's supposed to be my best friend but she hasn't been much of a friend to me at all. Charlotte has been working full shifts 7 days a week, it's almost like i don't have a mother at all anymore, something else i'm used to she's been doing this since practically the day i was born but i like the house when both my parents are working charlie just plays video games all day and i can read or write or whatever. Oh well another day another waste of human existence if you ask me haha. 2

August 11 20083

My boyfriend came over today, we've been friend for a long time but he still doesn't know how to react to me. Can't blame him but it's hard to talk to him...seems like he's scared of me sometimes or something. Anyway we went to my grandfather's cabin for the day it was pretty anticlimactic. We mostly joked around with my little brother and ran around outside. Charlotte was giving me hell about wearing a long sleeved shirt in August i don't really care what the weather is i wear what i like. i think she just likes to bug me about it. She's so scatterbrained it's actually really cute. When i got home i talked to Sarah she invited me over to her house, but i know better than to make plans with her; she always breaks them. i guess we'll see what happens4

August 12 2008 5

Well i ended up going to Sarah's house after all. It was pretty uneventful, but every-time she goes away she changes a little more, i don't mind that really it's just i wish she'd change in better ways. Apparently she went off with some random guys and did drugs, right before she was sent to the hospital . We walked around uptown for about and hour then we went out to eat Sarah used her usual "i don't have any money" excuse to get me to pay for her meal. Sometimes i really feel like she uses me. After we ate we went back to her house we were there for a bout two minutes then her other friend Sam called she completely ignored me for about twenty minutes while they talked and when she hung up she told me we were going to the beach with Sam. She asked me if it was okay but she had already made the plans knowing i hate the beach. So i spent the rest of the day totally ignored until Tim picked me up i can't ever remember being so happy to go home in my life. 6

August 13 2008 7

Tim and Charlie spent most of today getting ready for their big trip to Alaska. My mother has to work the week they're gone so i'll be home alone i guess that'll give me plenty of time to sew and clean....like i've been doing all summer. I hate living in such a small town there are 89 people here and about 10 of them are kids between the ages of 6 and 12, there are 4 about my age but i've never gotten along with them so i keep to myself. I concentrate on getting ready for school. I can't wait to go back, several of my closest friend have moved to different schools or in one case across the country. But i still have my boys. My best friends at the school are the kids i thought i could never get along with kinda funny of things work out. So i've been spending my days sewing, writing, and getting ready for school. Talk about boring.8

August 14 20089

Alyssa, a friend of mine who also happens to be my boyfriend's sister called today, she was really upset about someone leaving her out of something or other. I really didn't pity her, she leaves me out of things all the time. she calls me her best friend but i was the only person she didn't invite to her 16th birthday party. Anyway she called and was telling me how upset she was. I did my best to comfort her i listened to her and i held in the urge to scream when she turned everything around on me. One second we were talking bout her and how she finally told her mom about her cutting habit. *which in reality was all for attention* After she told me that she said "Maze, either you tell your mom what you've been doing or i'll tell mine. Don't even deny it we both know that you do." Despite what she had said i denied it. But she pushed the envelope she told me to tell my mother while Charlie and Tim were in Alaska i told her i would, I lied.10

August 15 2008 11

Right now i am so happy! Charlotte promised me that while the boys are away we will go shopping. We haven't done anything like this for a long time, well last time my boyfriend came with but i was mostly concentrating on getting him a birthday present. and turns out he's coming along this time too. So this should be fun. Okay shopping with a boy isn't exactly my favorite thing to do but i know his family is going through a rough time right now and i care about him a lot so i'm more than willing to bring him along. The only thing is I almost never see my mother anymore and i was really hoping we could have a day just for the two of us. I guess it's not a big deal, char has to have another day off eventually....right?12

August 16 200813

Well Today was extremely boring. I pretty much did the usual: Clean the house, check my e-mail, write a little. When Tim came home he started getting stuff put together for the trip to Alaska. I tried to stay out of the way as much as possible. I went for a bike ride on the trail and before i realized it i had gone a full 8 miles in one direction. I hurried to get home trying to ignore the images that flashed in my head every-time i had time to think. Those unwelcome thoughts were eventually drowned out by my i-pod which was blaring Emilie Autumn. By the time i got home it was nearly 9 o'clock. Times like these made me glad my family never sat down together to eat meals.14

August 17 2008 15

Tim and Charlie left for Alaska at about 10 this morning. I hugged them both goodbye, One week without them meant quiet. It also meant no one would be sleeping on the couch. Charlie at 12 years old preferred to sleep on the couch because he was was uncomfortable. Tim slept on the couch cuz he and my mother were no longer a couple, rather two people who were married and had nothing to do with each-other otherwise. I know we are a dysfunctional family without a doubt but i wouldn't trade my life for anything, would i go back and change thing if i could? Definitely. But i can't. i hardly notice the passing of days and school fast approaching.