my messed up reality

have you ever loved someone
that you werent supposed to
someone that
would ruin your entire life
and reputation
did you ever tell them
just how you felt
before they left
your life forever
you will never hug them again
you will never see them
you will never be able to smell their smell
or rest your head on their shoulder again
how do you tell someone
that you arent supposed to love
that every time they hugged you
you cried a little inside
because you know that it could never be
more then just a hug
and how do you tell someone
that you arent supposed to love
that every time they made you smile
when you were feeling bad
that that is what you were living for
living for that one hour that you might be able to see them
every day
but now that they are gone
and you didnt tell them
exactly how you feel
and you have no idea
if you will ever see them again
this person you arent supposed to love
how does one go on
waking up every day
and not have the person there
that made waking up bearable
i think ill go to sleep know
cause in my dreams that person is here
and every night it gives me hope
that i might just have been dreaming
that they were gone
and that they never really left
my messed up reality