My Window Seat

Ever since the day you died I sit here and wonder if it was me.  I sit and ask myself what I could have done differently.  No one knows the amount of time I sit staring out my window wishing you were here.  I watch the stars so long my eyes start to hurt.  I have been known to site up ALL night watching my window, wishing I could see you.  Of course you are happier now but what about the rest of us?  I want to be in heaven with you.  You left me all alone to stare out of my window.  I count the stars, wondering which one you are.  I have come to realize that my window isn't the place to escape to.  It is through my heart that I communicate with you.  I don't have to be at my house, at my bed, at my window to talk to you, anywhere.  I have a hole in my heart and the only way to fill it is if I allow you to filter back into it.  Just because you are not here on Earth with me doesn't mean you aren't beside me.  I am glad that I understand you better.  Too bad that I haven't come to realize this earlier.  You have always been here with me, not in the stars, not by my window but in my heart.  I hope that you stay with me forever.1