After the accident, I was overcome with grief. That is, until certain events changed my viewpoint on life, and death, entirely. That fateful night changed my life forever. When I heard my beloved Jen had passed away, I broke into tears of anguish, and withdrew into thoughts of death, anger, and confusion. 1
As I slipped closer to the abyss, I began to go insane, or, at least I thought I was. I started hearing voices, the voice of my true love. I started to see her out of the corner of my eye, and sometimes I could smell the perfume she always wore. I couldn’t endure this for long, I turned suicidal. That night, I decided to kill myself.2
I chose the old electrical building. Mostly because it had the highest beams to hang myself from, and if by some freak chance the rope broke, I would fall to my death hundreds of feet below. I climbed the ladder up to the tallest part of the tower, tugging my rope up behind me, and tied the rope to the platform support. I barely recall tying the noose because I lost my control, and began to cry. I had never cried anything like this before. When Jen died, It felt like my heart shattered into a million pieces, and a part of my soul had been ripped from me. I could not live without her.3
After the noose was around my neck, I steeled myself to jump. Before I thought to jump, I smelled the haunting scent of her lavender perfume. This brought another pang of grief. I discounted the smell, and began to steel myself again. This time, I saw her. She appeared right next to me. Her appearance didn’t startle me, because as soon as I noticed she was there, I realized that it felt like she hadn’t left.4
I turned to her, and when she didn’t disappear, my jaw dropped to the floor. She was dressed in pure white flowing robes. She seemed shed a golden glow, like the summer sun lighting up the hills. Her long brown hair seemed to float in the still air, and the smile on her face, and in her eyes, made my heart jump to my throat. She was the image of the pristine beauty of heaven.5
“My Love,” I heard her whisper to me, “Why are you trying to kill yourself?”6
“I can’t live without you…” I whispered back7
“You don’t have to… I’m always with you, haven’t you noticed?”8
“That was really you? I thought I was going insane.”9
“No… your not going insane. I love you, and will never leave you.”10
When she said those three little words, a rush of feeling came over me. I cannot explain it, I can only describe it as, well, Love, but much more than love. It was love as she felt it. No words could do it justice. As I began to cry, she embraced me.11
“Why did you have to die? Why did you have to get hit by that drunk?” I cried…12
“I’m sorry…” Is all she said as she stroked my hair.13
After I stopped crying, she said “Please don’t kill yourself my love… I want you to be happy, and live your life. Look for all the good things in life… never lose hope for happiness. Killing yourself wont get you anywhere. You only have one chance at life. Use it, Keep it, Cherish it… I just wanted you to know that… I love you……” And with that, she faded out… with a smile on her face.14
That night, Tonight, I learned that love is an unbreakable bond. Love is not about having the person you love with you, its about wanting happiness for the one you love, no matter how much it hurts inside. I also learned it goes both ways. My lover wanted me to be happy in life, even though she couldn’t be with me. That, is a lesson never to forget.15
My ignorance was almost the death of me.16
Author notes
Please comment... its my first Story.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Oh yeah, I forgot to add that you sent a clear, important message to all of the readers.
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This was a good story you came up with here. Your description of the sorrow was great and all, but I feel like everyone missed the passion in the love, the relationship. I mean, you could have gone down into detail of how they fell in love, why they fell in love, and what kind of chemistry they had.
The reason why I think that I am being so judgemental, is that the last story I read was awesome, outstanding, and it got four stars.
Compared to other entries, this story is good, but it is average. I am going to give this two stars.
This was a good story though, don't get me wrong!
Edited on Mar 19, 3:43 p.m. because ''. -
Sorry about that. I had edited it before I submitted it and it hadn't shown up yet. Its all good now
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Did you read the rules? Make sure you tell me what option you chose so I know what I am reading about.
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Ha! Yes, you are going insane! Ahem. On the story, it was good. I agree with what Jeric said, for being a new writer.
Anyhow... Keep writing and improving those skills. I'll make an author of out you yet... If I have any influence at all on the fact. Nevermind that! Just keep writing. I'm getting boerd not reading anything from you. (glares)
-Arias' Son -
Structure and Grammar arent my strongest subjects, and I do agree that they don't matter as much, considering they are only tools for communication.
I wasnt really thinking of the mechanics, and how things needed to be done, I just knew the feeling I wanted, and wrote what felt right! Do you really think it needs to have the added edge from leaving out the name? I was thinking that a suicidal person who had lost his only love and his will to live would mention her name if she were suddenly to appear to him and fuel his desire to live... or... I could have continued this story to drive him... well... to avoid the word insane, I will say Mad, and kill himself because the appearance of her brought the searing memories of her death back to his mind... Now that you dropped your wonderful comment on me... I feel I could do more with this... Thank you very much! I will put your suggestions to good use!
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This is a good start on story writing... I did notice some structural and grammatical problems...but they don't matter as much.
To me, it seems you want this story to have a strange mist around the edges. You left out pretty much all background images and left the detail to a minimum...which is an excellent skill. It builds mystery. But, to have kept it more mysterious, I would've left out her name. It gives even more of that misty "I wonder..." feeling to keep people reading.
I love the part where you describe her lavender perfume: very poetic!!
Um... Oh yes: If this were my story, I would have left out all the "My love"s...they just seem a bit hokey to me.
Anyway, all in all this was a good story! I like the way you foreshadow the fact that she is always with him by eluding to the fact that he is insane...maybe you could have alternated ways of refering to that though...three times you used the word insane.... The word insane stands out because it is such a ...strong word. I, myself, would have tried to find a word that was less pronounced.
Great write, though! Thank you for entering my contest!! -
Heh, I dont think that nothing is forever... But thanks for the compliment
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Nothing is forever. Love is no exception. Other than that great write for being a noob at writing. Couldn't have done better myself.
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Wow, Corey. That was...that was deep. Jenny's lucky to have a boyfriend like you. In some ways, I'm glad it didn't work out with us because now you're happy, and so is Jenny-Ann.
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Way to go Corey! Hope this is Corey! *laughs* This is LeAndra.
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Great Write for a first time writer. My entry is also a first attempt at short story..so we're in the same boat. I really enjoyed this story. How she saved him from the same fate that befell her. Great Write!
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Nice
Nice write.
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