What do I do Now?!

Dear Dr. Lamour,1

I never thought I'd be writing to you about romantic problems. Since I've never had and romance to speak of, I never had any romantic problems to write to you about. But here I am, writing to you because you've helped so many people and I really don't have anyone to turn to in my time of need. Which this is. Actually, I don't have a romanti problem yet. The problem is that I don't have a romance yet. And i want one. A particular one, that is. His name is Alvin. He sits next to me in geometry-------my worst subject!He never says a word to me. Sometimes he nods when i sit down in the morning, but that's it. The thing is, i think i'm madly in love with him and i don't know what do do about it. I know it's probably hard to believe that i could be madly in love with someone named Alvin, but "What's in a name?" as Shakespeare once said. (I think it was Shakespeare. It may have been Gertrude Stein.) Anyway, I am an extremely shy person, and since he never speaks to me, I don't know how to get him interested in me, even if he could be interested in me, which he might be if i could only say something witty or clever, which he would have to answer or, at least, smile at. So far all i've been able to do is say hi, and that hasn't exactly bowled him over, and why shoul it, because hi is not a very witty or clever remark. (That's when he just sort of nods.) Anyway, I don't know what to do about this. If he didn't sit right next to me, I guess i would just worship him from afar, but he's not afar, he's right there, and who knows what might happen if i could just get him talking? So my question really is, I guess, how do you get a boy who never talks to you to talk to you, when you haven't got anything to say to him except, "I'm madly in love with you," which, of course, I could never say. I mean I'm really shy.2

Hopefully yours3

Extremely Shy Person 4

Dear Extremely Shy Person,5

I'll bet Alvin is every bit as shy as youare! I'll bet that's why he hasn't said anything to you. For all you know, he's as interested in you as you are in him! But you'll never know if neither of you ever tries! Since your having trouble in geometry, why not work up your courage and ask him to help you with the homework? That gives you a good excuse to "break the ice" and talk to him. He might just be waiting for you to make the firts move! And, as a bonus, you might even learn geometry!6

Dr. Lamour 7

Dear Dr. Lamour,8

You remember i wrote you about Alvn. the boy who sits next to me in geometry? You told me to ask him to help me with my homework, since i'm so bad at geometry. Well, that may have sounded like an easy thing to do. I mean, it was a very ingenious and sensible suggestion, because if i asked him a direct question like that, i knew he'd have to answer. And if he nodded, like he usually does, that would mean yes! But, remeber, i am a very shy person and not good at talking to people, and when you said i should "work up my courage," you said it exactly right. Because that's what i had to do. Three days in a row i went into class, sat down next to Alvin, and tried to open my mouth to say, " Boy, i really need help in geometry. Could you help me." Finally, on the fourth day, i gave myself a stern "pep talk" before geometry, an i went in and sat down next to Alvin and was just aboutto "take the plunge" when miss. Fromberg, our teacher, handed back mondays test papers. I got a 52 and thought, this is it, this is the perfect chance to ask Alvin  for help. So I turned around to talk to him and saw, just before he stuffed it into his notebook, his test paper, with a big 36 circled in red at the top. What do I do now?9

Hopelessly Yours10

Extremely shy person11

Dear ESP,12

The situation isn't as hopeless as it seems! After all, since Alvin is doing as badly in geometry as you are, you have something in common! That's a "plus" in any relationship. And misery loves company you know! Why not tell Alvin about the trouble your having withg this subject? Thenm he'll probably tell you about his problems with it, and before you know it, you've got the conversational ball rolling!13

Dr. Lamour14

Dear Dr. Lamour,15

I don't know if you remeber me but i wrote you about a boy i'm madly in love with who's failing geometry and you told me to talk to him about my trouble with geometry to start the ball rolling. Well, the most awful thing happened! When i came home from school the day i got the 52 on the last test my parents got really upset and when we figured my average we realized i would probably failfor the marking period so my parents got me a tutor.And the tutor is good-----better than my teacher in fact-----and she's been working with me for three week snow and wouldn't you know i? All of a suddn all those things i din't understand i started to understand. It was just like in the cartoons when the light bulb goes on over a person's head. So on the last two quizes we had i got a 9 and a 10 which is like getting a 90 and a 100. So now i can't talk to Alvin about how badly we are both doing in geometry because i'm doign so great and if misery loves company i can't be company for him anymore.. I have the rottenest luck in the world! Now Alvin looks at my test papers and his test papers and just sighs and sticks his in his notebook. He probably hates me!    I don't know what to do now.16

Despairingly yours,17

Extremely Shy person18

Dear Extremely,19

You could be of breat help to Alvin in his tme of need. Sometimes the best way to get over your own shyness is to help someone else who needs help. Since Alvin has noticed how well your doingin geometry why don't you offer to help him? He'll be doubly grateful not only for the help you can give him but for showing you're interested and you care. Just ork up your courage an dtry it! Good Luck!20

Dr.Lamour21

Dear Dr. Lamour,22

It's me again. I'm sorry to keep bothering you like this, but really everything seems to go wrong for me an di just don't know who else to turn to. I mean it's not bad enough i'm an extremely shy person, it's not bad enough i'm passing geometry, it's not bad enough that i fell madly in lovewith someone who will probably never be interested in me, but to top it off, i read these letters you get from people who are so grateful for the help you've given them and tell you their whole lives have changed because of your advice, and i wonder, how come you give me such good advice and nothing works? Remember how you told me to talk to Alvin about how well i was doing in geometry now because of the tutor? Well, like you said i worked up the courage. (That took two days. And on the third day i had to give myself another pep talk.) Anyway the third day i was determind to talk to Alvin especially since since we got another quiz back and i got a 10 and he got a 3. So before he could hide his paper away in his notebook i took a deep breath and said "You know i was doing rotten in geometry too. And then my parents got me a tutor and i've gotten9's and 10's ever since." And Alvin finally said something to me. You know what he said? "Must be a very good tutor. I was so excited that he was talking to me at last that i just blurted out, "Oh she is, she's terrific. Much better then Ms. Fromberg." And he said, "Could you give me her phone number." What could I do? I gave him her number. Why am i doing everything wrong? Why isn't this working out? You give such good advice to everyone else. what's the matter with me?  And what in the world should i do now?23

Desperately yours,24

Extremely Shy Person25

Dear Person,26

There is nothing  nothing the matter with you that a little self-confidence won't cure! You don't really need a gimmick to get a boy to pay attemtion to you. You just have to be brave enough to take the risk of showing that you're interested in him. Your mutual difficulties with geometry made a good starting point but it's not the only starting point. There's more than one way to skin a cat. Or start a relationship. Why not give a party and invite Alvin? Why not ask his opinion on the upcoming elections? And there's still geometry. You might even suggest studying together now that your both working extra hard on it. You give up to easily!27

Dr. Lamour28

Dear Dr. Lamour,29

I know it's been a long time since i wrote to you and i really meant to write sooner to thank you for all your help and advice about my problem, namely Alvin who sits next to me in geometry. You were very patient about answering all my letters and giving me such good advice. I'm really grateful that you took all that time and trouble with my small problem when there are so many people out there who write to you about divorces and alcoholism and compulsive gambling. But i did want to let you know what happened because i thought,who knows,maybe someone else with the same problem will see my letter if you print it and realize what Dr. Lamour can do to help them. Well after my last letter to you i thought about the advice you gave me. As i am an extremely shy person i was afraid that giving a party and asking Alvin to come when we'd harldly ever exchanged two words to each other might seem a little pushy and besides to tell you the truth i really didn't have the nerve. I guess i was afraid if i did invite him and he said no i'd be so embarressed and upset i wouldn't be able to concentrate in geometry for the whole rest of the year, what with him sitting right next to me and me knowing he didn't like me. And now that i'm running an 85 average in geometry i'd really hate not to be able to cocentrate in class! Then i thought about your suggestion that we discussd the election and realized if i asked and he  answered i'd have nothing to say back because i didn't know the first thing about the elections except that everybody says that one of the candidates for state senate is a crook but thats only political mudslinging. But the thing is i wasn't really interested in the elections which i suppose is very irresponsible and un-American but i'm to young to vote anyway so i just didn't get involved. How could i start a discussion on a topic i didn't even know about? Thta left studying geometry together. Well, if i couldn't work up the courage to ask Alvin to a party where ther'd be not just him but lots of other people. I certainly didn't have the nerve to ask him to come to my house and study geometry with me. Alone! I mean, I just couldn't.   But that gave me an idea. My tutore, Ms. Lee, was helpimg ,e pepare for the midterm exam, going over all the stuff that i'd been failing in the first weeks of the semester, when i asked her if Alvin had ever called her. She said yes he had, and she'd seen him three times already.  So I said, "he's sort of nice, don't you think?"  And she said yes but kind of introvefrted. (So I guess you were right about him being as shy as I am!) And I told her maybe she hadn't noticed, but i was really introverted too. So she said, "Yes I have noticed," and sort of smiled. She's really a very sweet person, along with being a terrific tutor. And then this lightbulb went on iover my head agian. "You must be very busy this time of year," I said, "what with everybody cramming for midterms and al." And she said she was, and it was hard to arrange her schedulae to accomadate everyone. "Well," I said, "you could double up. I mean, like, for instance, Alvin and I are in the same class, and we're studying fo rthe same midterm, so you coud tutor us both in the same hour and make the same amount of money in one hour instead of two." And she sort of grinned agian and tilted her head head and asked, You think that would be fair? The point of a tutor is to povide one-on-one instruction. And  I said, Yes i know but you've been such a good tutor you can see i don't need that much help in geometry anymore. Her eyes kind of twinkled knowingl. And sh ethought about it for a ittle while andthen said, well i guess it would be alraight just once. Just once is all i need. I said. So she set up a session at her house telling Alvin it was necessary this one da that she work with two students at the smae time. He tol her he didn't mind because he was doing so much better since she'd been tutoring him and if the other student needed more helpthen he did that would be ok. It wasn't until he got to her house that he realized the other student was me. Mrs. Lee sat us side by side at her dining table and gave us some proofs to do and told us if either of us got stuck we could ask the other for help and to see if we could work out the problem together. Neither of us got stuck on the first two proofs. By the third one i was getting worried. Alvin still hadn't said anything to me except a kind of started hi when he walked in the door and saw me. This whole hour could be wasted if something didn't happen soon. I looked sideways at him. He was staring down at the third problem. Just staring. His pencil wasn't moving. I looked at the proof. And then I got this strange feeling thgat he was staring sideways at me. "Boy", I said, "this is a tough one."  Alvin cleared his throat and mumbled something. "Maybe we ought to work together on this one?" I said it fast but in such a little timid whisper I didn't think he heard me. "Okay," he said. "It's really hard." So we started working on it, and all of a sudden we found we were talking to each other telling each other how to do the proof. And we started laughing and i finally gasped, "Ireally knew how to do that problem." And Alvin was laughing so hard he nearly tilted his chair over backwards onto the floor and he said, "So did I."  Anyway it's not exactly a "big romance" yet, since Alvin and I are both very shy people as you know but things look very promising. We're studying together almost everyday (without Mrs. Lee). I think Alvin really likes me although of course he's too shy to come right out and say anything very romantic. But that's okay because so am i. I just wanted to tell you what a big help you've been and how I never could have done it without you! It's good to know I can turn to you whenever I have a problem and know that you'll help me out no matter how many times i write to you an dvice versa.30

Gratefully yours,31

       Extremely Shy Person32

Dear Ex,33

I'm always delighted to be of help. But do me a favor? Next time try Mrs. Lee first.34

Dr. Lamour35