Down that narrow hallway was the lifeless bedroom that once held my son. 1
I felt my stomach drop four stories and hit rock bottom. My face froze in fear. I took a deep breath, my lip quivered. 2
"God help us." I repeated. It started to get harder to breath. My hands began to shake drastically, the hallway turned to a blurry mess. I slammed my back against the wall and slipped down to the floor. 3
I ran my fingers through my greasy hair, I hadn't showered in days. The sun was setting, bring the hallway to a darker point. My breathing began to shake as well. 4
I brought my legs up to my chest and laid my head on my knees, I stared at the door to the room. I hadn't been in the room since he left. 5
I'd never been so scared before, this was a turning point. I closed my eyes and tried to block the memories. I shook away all the birthdays and friends we ever had. I wanted a new start. 6
I would change all of this. Every single thing about it. 7
I'd keep my only son at the house, I wouldn't let him get on the train. I grab his hand and pull him away from all the others and hug him as long as I could, keeping him away from the death that was to come. 8
I'd walk slowly away from the train, crying dramatically. I hid him, keeping him safe from the Officers and Patrols looking for the missing soldier. I hide in the shadows, grasping onto his body, never to let go.9
I could see all the flaws too. 10
The sun set over the hill and darkened the house I'd been left alone in. I held my legs close to me, even after they lost all feeling. 11
Dare I turn on the television? Dare I watch the news? No. 12
I was going to stay in this spot until my only son came home from the war scene across the dark blue ocean. 13
I open my eyes again and look over at the door, paper's taped to the front. Some reading "Keep Out, Or Else!" and some a A+ he got on a test. 14
I didn't know what to feel. Was I supposed to let all the feelings go away and pretend he was just off at collage? Was I supposed to quit my job and sit in the hallway all day, waiting for him to call and tell me he was coming home? Am I supposed to be sad? Happy? 15
I felt everything at once, like a ton of bricks. 16
Am I too just wait, like everyone else? Just wait for someone to get some sense and bring the poor souls home? I needed to do something, but I couldn't. 17
Are you not supposed to let them go? Is this my fault he's over in a war, fighting for our country? Or is it his fault, and his alone?18
My brain flooded with so many questions at once I didn't realize how long I had been sitting there. I brought myself to look over at the clock on the yellow wall. 12:27. 19
I bit my lower lip and wiped away some tears. What was the point in risking your life for a country? Whats the reason my son was over there? Did he have a reason? Did he have a future if he made it out of the war alive?20
So many questions for one person, not enough time. 21
My heart seems to slow, my mind eases. I sighed and wipe more tears away. 22
I slowly stand up, tripping over my shaking posture. I grip the wall the best I can and make my way down the narrow hallway. More questions pounded in my head, wanting answers. I forgot them, I keep my mind ahead. 23
I find myself at his door, the doorknob glowing from the moon's light. I lick my lips and grip my handle, my heart begins to pound faster and faster. 24
I turn the door knob, a squeak escapes. I push open the door and flip on the lights. Perfect. 25
The room was just as it was 3 years ago. The bed made up, the posters barely stuck to the wall. I smiled for the first time in 3 years.26
I sigh nervously and creep over to his bed, sliding my hand over the camo comforter. It was smooth and covered in dust, I wiped it away. My eyes glow. 27
Memories I'd pushed away from all those years came back and brightened. 28
Some happy, some scary. I missed them all so, so much. 29
I slowly sat on the bed, it springs me down then back up. I wipe my eyes again.30
Pictures of him covered the room, some with me and other with friends. One caught my eye. 31
I cocked my head to the side and stared at it. 32
He stood saluting at the American flag, in his camouflage uniform. He was smiling at the person holding the camera. His eyes sparked, bringing light to the sad picture. His golden hair was sloppy and had a dark tinge to it. His hat tucked under his other arm. 33
I felt as though he was looking at me, his heart feeling the same as I feel. The picture goes blurry again, I wipe my eyes. 34
I get up from the bed and pick up the picture off the dresser. It was the day he left for the army. 35
Memories hit me again. That day I regret forever. I take a deep breath. 36
I look over at a small digital clock, it reads 2:14. I blink slowly and make my way towards the door. I stop and putting my hand on the light switch, taking one last look at my son's room, I flip off the light and shut the door with a squeak. I was sealing memories, again, in that small room.37
I lower my head and focus on the closed door. I turn around and coldly make my way down the hallway, stumbling. I find the spot from before and sit, the picture was glowing. It seemed super-natural. 38
I kiss the picture and hold it to my chest, looking back at the moonlit door, I smile. All the blood rushes to my thick skull. 39
The cheap cell phone rings in my pocket, I bring it out, slowly touching it to my ear. "Hello?" I call, my voice cracks. 40
"Mrs. Jansing?" A deep voice called. I could tell it was probably a black man, but he sound of his muscular voice. 41
"Y-yes?" I ask, my voice brought to a whisper. 42
"I'm sorry to inform you..." His voice trailed off. 43
I hung up without as much as a goodbye. Never again, would I get to say 'I love you, be careful' or 'Don't get yourself into trouble'. Never. Ever.44
I sigh and stand up, my knees shaking violently. The turn around, my hand leaning against the sturdy wall. 45
I had to be strong, for him... for me. For all the soldiers that have given their lives for a cause. I knew I would be spiraling into depression the moment I turned around, the moment I thought of his voice, his laughter, his name, even his love and affection for others. 46
He was all I had, all I would ever have. Nausea overcame me, but I stood in place. I stood up straight, getting ahold of myself. I had to keep myself under control for him, for me. I needed to get somewhere, anywhere. 47
48
I turned my head upward, looking down at his bedroom door...49
50
He would always be with me, no matter where his spirit lay.51
52
53
54
55
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. ~Bertrand Russell 56
Bronze trophy winner
Honorable mention
Silver trophy winner
Adding your comment:
