Top 10 Reasons to Live

Never really thought about this, but lets bare through it and see what we get, shall we? 1

1.) My blog is here in life. 2

I dont think Hell has internet service and even if it does, some how I doubt Satan would let me use the internet. Plus, imagine my blog posts if I was dead? " Still kicking it in hell... Still dead. Not haunting anyone yet. Check back tomorrow for.... more news on being dead!" Not all that interesting. 3

2.) I would have to actually write a will. 4

And decide who gets my Nikon D40 camera. That sounds like a bad thing, having to chose between people. But hey, I'd be dead... so..5

3.) My enemies would feel the need to deface and disrespect local graveyards looking for my remains. 6

Probably because I didnt give them my camera. And I'd prefer to be cremated, so that wouldnt help with the government or local towns who now have to fix the graveyards. Plus, imagine all the dead people and ghosts who got disturbed because of hooligans looking for me? 7

4.) I would have to think of a really great quote for a tombstone. 8

Cause I'm sure my family wont cremate me. Even though it would be so much cheaper. But that falls back to the writing of the will. And who really can think of a spectacularly awesome quote that will last for the rest of their eternal life? Find a quote that expresses themselves, their essence, entices and sparks humor amid the grief and dispair, and... still sticks it to the man? Impossible. 9

5.) If I die, who will publish Men Equal Chaos, Women Are Hell, or even Second Chances? 10

What will become of Tarius, Zeke, Ameka, Rika, Erik, or Dekrow? Who will care enough to continue writing them, and will be able to understand all the quirks that make those books cool? Who will enjoy my humor and actually write my humor? 11

6.) I would have to apologize to a whole lot of people for telling them christianity is a crock, and for yelling at them. 12

And I really, really hate confrontations. Or admitting that I was wrong. And since I dont believe that I am wrong, that would make me a hypocrite, and I dislike hypocrites, meaning I would dislike my self, and I'm not going to die disliking my self. 13

7.) I am only 19, and have yet to expeience the true personality of a writer. 14

I'm not locked away in some tiny little hut all by my self with only a dog for company. I'm not a sociopath who needs absolute time to himself to write the next greatest book in the world. I dont even have a dog. ( okay, that was more a Secret Window thing, but still...) 15

8.)People wouldnt think I'm insane. 16

I'd be normal. Wearing all black and talking about vampires, werewolves, and other creepy crawlies wouldnt be strange. Hanging out in a cemetary would be considered cool! Do you have any idea how life-changing or disorienting that could be for a person's self image. And since I dont follow normal 'cool' trends, I'd have to totally change my persona. Maybe become a play boy bunny or something equally different. 17

8.)I would miss the last movies in the Harry Potter Series. 18

you would deprive me of seeing how bad the producers screw up the last books. And that cant happen because I love those books, and I have to know for my own peace of mind. 19

9.) I'm too lazy to haunt people. 20

And since I promised I would haunt them, I would be breaking a promise. So, I cant die until I get up the nerve/ or they piss me off enough to actually haunt them. 21

10.) The world would be deprived of a person whose skills are better than kinkos. / Satan doesnt need more minions in hell. 22

Okay the last one was a two-parter. First one, my neighbor came over and I'm typing up some things for him. He told me he took the same thing to Kinkos and they typed it up with numerous spelling and grammer errors- he said I was way superior to kinkos. And second off, how does Satan expect to take over the world if all his minions are in Hell? I'm doing a great job in irritating Christians here on earth. It would be a much better strategy to keep me alive longer.