hi agan i know i got a nother story ta work on but i got an idea in mah head and i could not ignore it so here its its yaoi and if u dont like dont read its a fma xover with hp and the pairing is maesxroy so there1
chapter one2
Darkness, shadows "Maes is that you Maes can you hear me MAES!"3
Roy abruptly woke up covered in sweat. "Argh! that dream agan". he turned to looke at his alarm clock it was one in the morning band he just went to sleep two hours ago. Roy groaned he had to go to work in seven hours.4
Roy headed to the bathroom and took a shower he let the warm water embarce him like Maes touch. "Argh Roy stop thinking these things he's a guy and hes married with a kid" he hit him self and growled. Roy washed his black hair massaging the shampoo into his scalp and sighed it smelt of fresh roses and coffee.5
Roy washed out the shampoo and dried himself off and put on a dark blue robe Maes got him for his birthday. Roy walked down to the kitchen and turned on the lights. His midnight eyes scanned the small kitchen
I NEED INSIPRATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Sooo... yaoi... my favorite.lol. I vote more... lots more... uber more.lol. I like it as a beginning, very nice.
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im sick of everyone talking bout bloody grammar..this is a awesome begining and it will turn out better then any of u think...nice start regal vampire
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WOW!!!!
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Well, for one, you need to work on your grammar, spelling and capitalization. I know you can think of the plot all the way through, it's only the grammar and length of the passage that's holding you back.
This is a good start for a Yaoi story, I suppose. I hope you can continue this.
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yeah theres a thing i have a syrsnge phoibia with dictionarys and i started writing this story with out thinkin i think it was the vodka and fanta dont worry i had only a little it was more of a kick -
yeah i practicly suk at writeting and all that shit i repeat i suk (sits in a corner)
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The plot sounds good, but you need to work on this. Consider improving the structure, spelling, and punctuation. It sounds like after an edit or two this will be really great - all it needs is a little work. Other than that, you did a good job. Hope you continue it.
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yer i agree with them jess make the story come to life with love
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its good but to be set out better.
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it's a good beginning. mabye ed could be at the door for some reason. why did you call it the pain?
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write more or i will turn my fangirl rage onto u 
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I think you need to look at your spelling, structure and punctuation. Without these things, your work looks very unloved and rough. It's a good start and I definitely think you should keep going, but take more care and think things through a bit more. Try to use more adjectives and imagery to spice it up.
Good luck. -
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yeah can ya help me plz i need a beta and im kida hopin u can help cause mah spellin and grammer suxs
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called it "The pain?"
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Well the starts great and put R's on roy ok ... do more
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