Don't Touch the Monkey

It was a warm and sticky Christmas eve on a back-country road in the South,  the man, had been driving most of the night to get home to his family for Christmas.  It's around one in the morning, and he's very tired, after working all day, and his eye's start drooping.  He tries all sorts of ways to try and keep himself awake while driving, singing with the radio, talking to himself, but nothing was working, so finally, he thinks, "Man, I can't keep myself awake, so if there's no houses to stay at in the next mile, I'll pull over and sleep in the truck."  Luckily, he finds a lovely converted plantation.  He parks on the side of the road, and walks up to the door and rings the bell.  When a farmer comes to the door, the man asks if he could stay the night somewhere.  The farmer, being quite hospitable since it's Christmas eve, agrees to let him sleep in the barn on one condition: don't touch the monkey.  Once they got to the barn, the man thought this was a strange request, as there was no animals of any kind.  The farmer pointed to the hay covered loft and said, "You'll be sleeping up there, I'll fetch you a blanket and a pillow" and left.  the man climbed the ladder into the loft and started making himself comfortable, when from seemingly nowhere, there came an echoing sound... "CHICKACHICKA EEH EEH!"  The man shot up and looked around, wondering where the sound came from.  He climbed down the letter when the echoing sound returned... "CHICKACHICKA EEH EEH!"  The man walked over to where the sound appeared to be emanating from, and when he brushed aside the straw, there was a trap door.  Behind him the Farmer returned.  He dropped the pillow and blanket on the floor, and reminded him: do NOT touch the monkey.  After the man left, the man, tingling with curiosity, opened the trap door and lowered himself into the darkness beyond.  When his eyes adjusted to the dark, he gaped at the elaborate underground maze of bridges, arches, and catacombs underneath this estate!  "What riches must be guarded here" he thought.  he walked forward and not before too long, he came to an iron gate.  Pushing forward with interest, he found the lever to raise the gate.  He then came to a set of immensely tall wooden doors with glowing doorhandles.  As he reached for them, they started humming, louder and louder, his mind bent on the treasure that was surely within... all of the sudden... "CHICKACHICKA EEH EEH!"  the noise louder than ever before, the man pushed open the door and found himself face to face  with a small, insignificant caged monkey on a pedestal.  "You shouldn't be in here!" the monkey screeched.  the man put his face close to the monkey, knowing that a talking monkey would bring in fortunes. "CHICKACHICKA EEH EEH!" the monkey screamed again.  Afraid the old man would hear the racket and come looking, he furiously shook the cage.  "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP YOU STUPID MONKEY!" he hissed through clenched teeth.  Once he stopped shaking, the cage fell over and the monkey fell out.  Disregarding the old man's agreement, he hastily picked up the monkey and put him in the cage.  The man filled with delusions of grandeur, picked up the cage and turned to leave.  But s the man turned to leave the emptied room, he heard something like the straining of metal, like pipes about to burst from too much pressure.  He paused and looked down, where he saw the once small and insignificant monkey now bulging with muscle and the bars of the cage bent outwards.  He dropped the cage and backed away.  Then, the cage broke, and the monkey grew and grew, as he was growing, his eyes looked down on the man, filled with all the fury and hate it could posses.  The man, fearing for his life, turned and fled the scene with a mask of pure horror, past the tall tall doors with the humming handles, past the iron portcullis, over the stone bridges, up the ladder, through the trap door.  He shut the trap door and put whatever he could find on top of it, trying to get away, but the monkey burst through it, not only through the trap door, but through the roof of the barn, the man filled with terror, and sprinted away from the barn, past the house, down the long driveway, but behind him he could hear thump... Thump... THUMP... until the monstrous beast was right on top of him.  The man saw his truck just down the road, only 10 yards away, he put every ounce of energy into getting to the safety of his truck.  Almost to his truck, he stumbled, and fell, he turn over to see the towering monkey lean over, his immense finger coming down over him, closer and closer, the man knew that this beast was going to squish him like an ant, that this was it.  The finger came closer and closer, until doom was imminent, but instead of being squished, he was tapped gently.  The beast leaned down nearer and nearer, his unbelievably huge face towered over him, looking down.   The monster rumbled, "Tag.  You're it."1