Life

Walking to my classes, I relise none of my life is worth it. I continue to look for a reason to help myself stop the pain. Nothing comes to me. I face my next class with my head hung low and moisture arising to my eyes. I pay no attention to the lecture my teacher gives. It seems to be the same everyday. Nothing changes. Another excuse. Another lie. It's time for me to end it all. 1

I walked home. I walk to what seemed to be to my demise. I felt like a convict walking to the chair. I have to face the screaming, the shouts, the drunken blows... It was pointless. Everything is pointless. 2

Hiding in my corner as I have to do every damn night, I held a gun. The shiny barrel pointed at my forehead. I held the trigger with my right thumb. I listened to the screams. Oh, those screams will forever remain in my memory. They are burned into my skull. They wont stop. I hope my infinite sleep will put them to rest.3

I hear the creak of my door. Oh god. It's my turn for the beating and lashing out. I dont want to take it. I have already taken all I can and all I want to.4

I slowly squeeze the trigger as the shuffeled footsteps edge closer and closer to my corner. My privacy has been violated. I wanted to die as my punishment is unleashed upon my cowering back. I whined under my breath. I dont want her to know I can feel, weep, and the way I am in pain. I hear her yell and scream at me. It's all my fault. It's my fault that she has to hit me. I take it no longer. I pull the trigger. A shot rings out over the darkness of my room. She continues lashing out at my dead body. She has a reason to hit me now. She no longer has a child to hit at. She no longer has a child to scream at and lose her anger.5

I slowly make my way out of the artificial hell and into the true Hell that is supposed to be torture. Life is supposed to be sweet when you are on earth. I was destined for the "life" I had to face when I got home.6